


Knotted

by Dixxy



Series: Knotted [2]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Abuse, Depressing, Dubious Consent, F/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2018-08-17 04:30:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 52,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8130442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dixxy/pseuds/Dixxy
Summary: Trapped in a loveless marriage and treated like a toy by his wife. Landlocked to Whole Cake Island by a pair of explosive wristlets whose keys have been destroyed. Ripped away from his friends and crew mates. Trying to protect a child when he can barely protect himself. Sanji never realized how literal the term "tying the knot" could end up feeling.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This fic contains multiple triggers warnings for explicit sexual scenes, explicit dubcon, abuse, and suicidal thoughts/actions.
> 
> A version of this fanfic without the explicit sex scenes will be posted to Fanfiction.Net.
> 
> UPDATE: March 10, 2018
> 
> Planning, writing, and posting for Knotted started back during July of 2016, roughly a year and a half before we found out that Pudding is most likely about 16-17 years old, though there is a SLIGHT possibility she’s 18 (as in she JUST turned eighteen and the decutuplets are on the cusp of their 19th birthday). Prior to this I assumed that she was somewhere between the ages of 18-20. 
> 
> As such, for the purpose of this AU fanfic, Pudding was 19 when she married Sanji and 20 during the chapter being posted today. 
> 
> Thank you.  
> Dixxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy fails to rescue Sanji from Big Mom, and things only get worse from there.

Knotted  
By Dixxy Mouri  
Prologue

 

 

                “Luffy, Luffy _wait!_ ”

                Luffy skidded to a stop, causing Sanji to crash into him after being dragged through the halls of Big Mom’s chateaux. “Wait for what? We need to get you out of here or else Big Mom is going to make you marry that weird three-eyed girl and then you won’t be able to go on adventures with us anymore!” Luffy insisted.

                “No, Luffy, you don’t understand – I _can’t_ leave this island!” Sanji said in a panic. He rolled down the sleeves of his suit jacket and pointed at one of the explosive wristlets his witch of a sister had attached to his wrists. “See? This is just like the collars the Celestial Dragons use on their slaves! If I leave this island my hands will-”

                Luffy’s eyes widened in a panic as he looked over Sanji’s wrist, then at the other. He looked as if some of the color had drained from his face. “Rayleigh taught me how to handle the collars but . . . he didn’t say anything about a matched set!” he said.

                “What!?” Sanji asked.

                “I . . . I don’t know if I can remove one without causing the other to explode . . .” Luffy said. He shook his head and looked at Sanji with determination in his eyes. “You know what, that’s okay, we’ll just steal the keys, just like we did with Robin that one time we declared war against the World Government and I fought the pigeon guy and we all got bounties!”

                “. . . that’s what you got from that day.”

                “Yeah, why?” asked Luffy.

                Sanji groaned in frustration – the sooner he got the wristlets off, the better he’d feel. _I can’t even stand another ten minutes in these damn things . . . but if Luffy doesn’t feel confident he can get these off without the key, then we need to go find the key._ Sanji took a few slow, deep breaths to try and calm himself down. “Okay . . . okay, but that’s not the only problem. They know where Zeff and the Baratie are back home and we-”

                “-then I’ll just kick all of their asses so they can’t go back and hurt them!”

                Sanji sighed. He wasn’t sure it was that simple, but Luffy’s enthusiasm was infectious. “You sure?”

                Luffy gave him a grin. “All right, let’s go steal some ke-“

                “ ** _And just where do you think you’re going with my future son-in-law?!_** ”

                Sanji and Luffy turned to look behind them to see Big Mom hovering above them. Both men yelped, Luffy surprised by the size of her, Sanji just crestfallen to see her at all.  She towered over the two of them, her eyes filled with madness and her huge mouth pulled into a maniacal grin. The cook bit his bottom lip. _If she’s grinning . . . she isn’t worried . . ._

                Luffy pushed Sanji behind him. “He’s _not_ your future son-in-law, he’s _my_ cook!” As if to emphasize that point, Luffy removed his hat and practically slammed it onto Sanji’s head. “Sanji . . . it’s okay. I can handle this. Just be strong for me, okay?” he said quietly. He gave him a grin and a thumbs up before turning his attention back to Big Mom.

                “You’re out of your league, _boy_!” Big Mom bellowed.

                “I’m the man who’s going to be the King of the Pirates! You’re out of _my_ league!”

                Big Mom laughed, sending tremors up the cook’s spine. She was radiating with power, with menace, and Sanji found himself frozen in fear. He felt so helpless. It wasn’t _fair_ that the opponent was female and he didn’t kick women. It wasn’t _fair_ that his precious hands were strapped with explosives. It wasn’t _fair_ only half of the Straw Hats were there – even if just Zoro (. . . _oh good GOD am I actually missing ZORO right now!? Fuck this place!_ ) were there this whole situation would be a lot better.

                Sanji gripped the brim of Luffy’s hat.

                Luffy launched himself towards Big Mom.

                “Luffy!” Sanji screamed.

                Big Mom easily enough knocked him back – Luffy was slammed in the opposite wall, though he shook it off like it was nothing. They exchanged a few blows as Sanji watched on, dumbfounded and mesmerized by the fight. It was going well so far, and for a moment he thought he was home free. Luffy was going to beat Big Mom, they’d be able to find the keys to his wristlets, and they could all go home soon. He wouldn’t have to worry about the Baratie or Kamabaka Kingdom or the Straw Hats or any of their other friends falling at the hands of this monster of a woman.

                _Beep. Beep. Beep._

Sanji froze in fear and looked at his hands – the wristlets were starting to beep. “What!? NO!”

                “SAN-JI!”

                Sanji’s scream was all the distraction Big Mom needed, and the tide of the battle turned. Sanji covered his mouth as he watched in horror as, with his guard down, Luffy took an impossibly brutal hit and was sent flying. He raced to where his captain – his _real_ captain, the only person he ever wanted to _call_ his captain – had landed and was currently lying motionless.

                “LUF-FY!” Sanji screamed. He skidded to a stop and dropped to his knees, cradling Luffy’s seemingly broken body in his arms as Big Mom laughed. “No, no, no! You can’t lose like this! No! Luffy! Luffy, wake up! _Luffy!_ ”

                But Luffy wasn’t moving. Sanji wasn’t even sure Luffy was _breathing_.

                Someone or something dragged Sanji back, the force pulling Luffy’s hat off of the cook’s head and sending it to land on his captain’s unmoving body. Sanji continued to scream, reaching for his captain and begging him to not be dead. _I don’t want to leave my friends! I need to see the All Blue someday! I need to see you becoming the King of the Pirates!_

_Don’t leave me here!_

Once the third Vinsmoke boy was dragged away kicking and screaming, Big Mom shook her head. She looked over her defeated opponent and snapped her fingers, calling for more guards. Several of Cracker’s Biscuit Soldiers appeared, ready to carry out whatever orders their mistress had for them.

                Big Mom pointed at Straw Hat Luffy, who coughed a little when she nudged him with her foot. “Bring him to the basement – I don’t use the depths of the chateaux very often, but it appears as if I’m going to have a long-term ‘guest’.” The soldiers nodded before Big Mom narrowed her eyes. “Make sure no one sees where you’re taking him – we need to continue the illusion that he’s dead. For now, at least. Understood?”

                The Biscuit Soldiers saluted their mistress.

                _Luffy’s dead . . . Luffy’s dead. . .  Luffy’s dead . . ._

To say that Sanji was a mess was an understatement. He’d been locked in a well-guarded room in the aftermath of Luffy’s murder so he could “calm down before his bride saw him” but all he wanted to do was scream and cry and just hear Luffy yelling at him from across the Thousand Sunny one more time for something, anything with meat. And all Sanji wanted to do was make his captain a roast the size of his head.

                Big Mom or one of her subordinates (he didn’t know or care who) had snuck a device onto the cufflinks of Sanji’s jacket that make the same beeping sound as the wristlets if he went outside of the “safe” zone or tried to remove them by force. The wristlets were too small to have a remote detonator of any sort, so this device had been planted on him as added insurance to keep him in line until the ceremony was complete. It was all the distraction they’d needed to take Luffy’s attention away from the fight, and now . . .

                There was a clock in the room. 11:30 am. The wedding was at two.

                _How the hell do they expect me to go up there and get married after everything that’s happened!? They know I don’t want any part of this and now they’ve murdered my captain!? My_ REAL _captain!?_ Sanji started pacing, though he knew it wouldn’t do him any good. _Think, Sanji, think! There’s gotta be something you can do!_

_. . . but whatever you come up with, it won’t bring back Luffy._

There was a knock on the door. “Big Mom wants to see you.”

                Sanji wanted to tell whoever the messenger was that she could go fuck herself, but decided that wasn’t a good idea. One, that might lead to the creation of even _more_ members of the Charlotte family and God knew Big Mom already had enough of those. Two, that probably wouldn’t do anything to improve his situation. “What does she want?”

 

                Sanji was escorted to what must have been a throne room of sorts in the chateaux. Naturally there was a lot of food-themed décor, as well as several well-polished silver platters hanging on the walls in various places. Big Mom was waiting for him, seemingly not at all perturbed by having just murdered his captain.

                “I wanted to give you a little . . . ‘wedding present’,” said Big Mom.

                Sanji glared at her. _Fuck YOU!_

                “I’ve captured the rest of the Straw Hats who came to try and rescue you – two Minks, a pile of bones, a little reindeer, and a pretty girl with orange hair,” said Big Mom. Sanji’s eyes widened. She’d caught the rest of them, too? He felt himself begin to tremble in fear and rage. “Oh, now, now, now, I only give wedding presents to members of my crew. And for your present, I’d be willing to let you choose what happens to them.”

                “What?” Sanji asked.

                “Simple. You swear your loyalty to me in front of the surviving Straw Hats – and no ‘I’m only doing this because I have to’ bullshit, you need to make it look _good_ – and only then they will be free to go,” said Big Mom. “If it’s not good enough, I’ll do something of my choosing to the friend of _your_ choosing.”

                Sanji swallowed. “You have no idea what our crew is like. They’ll never believe me.”

                Big Mom grinned. “Not if you tell them _this. . ._ ”

 

                Sanji wasn’t sure how he hadn’t collapsed when he saw Nami-san, Brook, and Chopper being led into the throne room of Big Mom’s chateaux, handcuffed and looking more than a little distraught. Even worse, two of the Minks from Zou were with them – what were Pedro and Carrot doing here?! He wanted to run to all of them and make sure they were all okay, but he stayed as motionless as he could, keeping his emotions in check.

                Chopper and Brook looked relieved to see he was all right. Carrot cheered at the sight of him, naively looking at him like he was a hero, even if he didn’t feel like one in that moment. Pedro seemed to have a better read of the situation, his eyes filled with concern. _You know something’s wrong . . . and by the time this is all done . . . you won’t know what . . ._

                “Sanji-kun!” Nami yelled at him. She had such a beautiful smile on her face, lighting up in relief as she saw him. His stomach churned, and for a moment it was as if it was just the two of them in the room. _She came to rescue me . . . then . . . on Zou . . . it was real? It was really real after all?_

                It was something Sanji had been thinking about a lot since he’d been taken away by the Irontank Pirates. Everything on Zou had been so good. They were being heralded as heroes. They got along exceptionally well with the locals. And one night, when he and Nami were alone and talking about . . . anything and everything, really . . . he’d gotten to kiss her.

                They had plans to get lunch together once Luffy and the others returned from Dressrosa and the situation with Kaido was resolved. Nothing special, but . . . a real honest to God _date_ with his beautiful Nami-san. And she seemed like she was looking forward to it. And then things only got _better_ with the next thing that she said, and his heart had just about melted.

                “ _I can’t have a map of the world without All Blue on,_ ” she’d said to him, holding his hand.

                “ _How will anyone else find it again if we don’t have it on your map?_ ” he’d responded.

                It was maybe the most romantic moment in his entire life, and he wanted more to follow.

                But now . . .

                Sanji crossed his arms. “Why did you come after me?” he asked, trying his best to sound stern.

                “Why wouldn’t we? You’re our friend and we have to rescue you!” said Chopper. “This is just like when we rescued Robin from Enies Lobby!”

                Sanji lowered his head. _If there’s a chance Zoro and the others disobeyed Luffy’s orders and are about to come bursting through those doors . . . please . . . don’t leave me here . . . don’t make me do this . . ._ “No one asked you to come save me. Idiots.”

                “. . . Sanji?” asked Brook. “What are you talking about!?”

                Sanji spun around on his heels and started to laugh – he couldn’t let them see him crying, and the laughter was all he could do to mask his sobs of despair. “Why the hell would I want to go back to the Straw Hats after everything Big Mom has offered me? A stronger crew, a beautiful wife, what more could I possibly want?” _You. Each and every one of you is all I want._

“But you said you were going to come back! We . . . we just wanted-“

                “-don’t you idiots understand?” Sanji said snidely, barely catching his reflection in a particularly well-polished tea tray. His eyes were red as tears streamed down his cheeks. He was practically screaming to hide his emotions. “I’m the son of a king! This is _my_ place, that is _your_ place! Continue spinning your wheels as you chase your foolish dreams . . . I’m done with it! I’m done with all of you!” He laughed bitterly, putting his hand to his forehead. “Why would I want to be on that _wretched_ dingy you call a pirate ship when I can command my own ship in the Big Mom fleet?”

                “Sanji, whatever it is your doing, don’t! Luffy will be here any minute!” Nami shouted.

                “LUFFY IS DEAD!”  Sanji screamed. “I KILLED HIM MYSELF!”

                The words tasted like poison in his mouth and brought the others to a stunned silence. It was what Big Mom had ordered him to say. It was the best way to ensure the others wouldn’t come to his rescue. If he took the blame for Luffy’s murder over the chance to marry into the Big Mom Pirates . . . they’d hate him.

                _I . . . may as well have . . . this is . . . this is my fault . . . all of this is my fault . . ._

                “ _SANJI! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?_ ” Chopper wailed. “ _YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUR FRIEND! LUFFY CAN’T BE DEAD! HE CAN’T BE! YOU WOULDN’T DO THAT TO HIM! YOU’RE LYING! WHY ARE YOU LYING!?_ ”

                “I see it now . . . you really _are_ one of those bastards, aren’t you!?” Brook spat at him. Something in the skeleton’s voice was filled with a kind of rage that Sanji had never heard before . . . and he knew he’d satisfied Big Mom. “You murdered our captain for a woman you don’t even know!? _HOW DARE YOU, YOU BASTARD!_ ”

                Nami wasn’t saying anything. He peered at her reflected using the tea tray. Her head was lowered, and he couldn’t see her face. She was so angry she couldn’t even speak to him. Because of course she was. He’d broken her heart, and now she was breaking his.

                Sanji stared straight ahead, his eyes stinging from his tears. “LEAVE!” he screamed. “TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW HERE! YOU’RE NOT WORTH BIG MOM’S TIME AND SHE DOESN’T WANT TO BE BOTHERED WITH YOU!”

                “ ** _TRAITOR!_** ” Chopper and Brook screeched.

                That word hung in the air like a noose around his neck, and Sanji knew it was done.

                From her perch at the back of the room, Big Mom looked pleased.

 

                Sanji didn’t even get to watch the Thousand Sunny leave – if he was spotted, it might tip Nami and the others off that he’d been lying to appease Big Mom and let them leave safely. Instead he was left waiting in Big Mom’s throne room. Ichiji, Niji, and Yonji would be arriving shortly to escort him to the altar, where he’d be permanently shackled to a girl he barely knew and forever ripped away from the other Straw Hats.

                Not that his performance earlier that day hadn’t done so already.

                The door at the end of the room opened and, much to his chagrin, Big Mom came waddling in, a massive grin on her face. “So, Sanji . . . I have a question for you. How would you feel about my allowing that ship to leave my waters safely?”

                Sanji got to his feet. “What!? I already did what you wanted!”

                “I said I would let them leave _the island_ safely, I never said anything about my territory.” She cracked a grin and took a seat before him. “But, I wanted to give you the opportunity to ask a favor of me. You will be a member of my crew soon enough, after all.”

                “Fine! Here’s my request – leave the Straw Hats alone and let them leave safely!” Sanji shouted.

                “Excellent. And as for the price of that favor . . .”

                Sanji’s eyes widened. “. . . price?” he asked.

                Big Mom held up a small object, and Sanji’s eyes widened when he realized what it was. A key. His jaw dropped. “The wristlets. . . that’s the key to my wristlets, isn’t it?” he said.

                “Yes, yes . . . now, I was planning on releasing you from your shackles after the ceremony . . . but it seems that your loyalty to your old crew isn’t quite gone yet, now is it?” said Big Mom. “I was going to give you the chance to sacrifice them to have your cuffs removed before the ceremony, but it seems like you’ve made a different choice.”

                The world stopped moving as the key disappeared into Big Mom’s hand . . . and all that remained was dust.

                “In exchange for their freedom . . . it seems you’ve chosen to give up _yours_. _Forever._ ”

                Sanji fell to his knees, staring at Big Mom’s hand in futility. “That was . . . that was seriously . . .”

                “The only copy. It’s now _impossible_ to remove those wristlets.” She bent down, breathing in his face. “I was hoping to groom you for a position off the island . . . but I suppose I’ll need to find something you can do while remaining here on Whole Cake Island instead. I’m sure my dear sweet Pudding will love having you around.”

                _I . . . I’m landlocked . . . she landlocked me . . . I can’t leave . . . I CAN’T LEAVE!!!_

 

                Sanji was terrified throughout the wedding ceremony. No one was going to come for him. The only people here “for him” were the Vinsmokes and a large collective of Germa 66 soldiers. Ichiji, Niji, and Yonji were snickering by his side as they served as his “best man” and “ushers”. Reiju was giggling from the front pew as she sat next to their father, who had a completely satisfied look on his face. He was getting exactly what he wanted.

                _This is just like when I was a kid . . . only worse . . ._

“The rings, please?” the priest asked. One of Big Mom’s grandchildren, a boy about five years old or so, held up a velvet pillow with two gold rings – Sanji remembered someone sizing him before he’d been shackled. He’d only went along with it because he didn’t think things would get this far. He picked up the smaller ring, meant for Pudding, while she picked up the larger ring, meant for him.

                Following the priest’s instructions, Sanji closed his eyes as he slid the ring on Pudding’s finger. She beamed at him as she took his left hand, returning the gesture. It felt heavy, and part of him wanted to collapse under its weight. Even if he knew this was a harmless piece of gold, even if he knew it wasn’t rigged with explosives . . . it felt so much tighter, so much more restrictive.

                It was almost as if he could _feel_ his old life crumbling away. Black Leg Sanji, bounty 177 million – gone. Cook of the Straw Hat Pirates – gone. Foster son to Red Leg Zeff and former co-owner of the Baratie Restaurant – gone. The man who would one day find the All Blue – gone.

                All that was left was poor little Prince Sanji, a title that felt empty and hollow.

                “By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you _man and wife._ ”

                And now . . . husband of Charlotte Pudding, and unwilling subordinate of the Big Mom Pirates.

 

                Jinbe had been uninvited from the wedding.

                When he’d heard the news that Big Mom had killed Straw Hat Luffy . . . the man he truly believed was going to be the next Pirate King . . . it was more than Jinbe could take. Partly because this man he respected and loved so much was now gone, but partly because Big Mom had broken a very important promise.

                When he’d learned that Lady Pudding’s intended groom was one of Luffy’s crewmates, he knew there was no way the Straw Hats wouldn’t act. He’d heard too much about them from Luffy during their time together after the war and during the crew’s stay on Fishman Island. He’d gone after that poor girl Arlong had tormented for so long, and it sounded like he’d saved Nico Robin from the brink as well.

                Jinbe had tried to approach Black Leg Sanji – apparently the long lost third son of King Vinsmoke Judge of the infamous Germa Kingdom – but he couldn’t get close. He wanted to know what had happened and see if there was anything he could do to help him get away before he became entangled in a knot he wouldn’t be able to undo. But Germa 66 and the other Vinsmokes children had kept a close watch over him, and all Jinbe had been able to manage was a glimpse of him here and there the day before the wedding. He wasn’t even sure that Sanji knew he was there at all.

                And once he started hearing reports that Luffy had been spotted on the island . . .

                “ _Please, don’t kill Luffy-kun,_ ” Jinbe had pleaded. 

                Big Mom had given him a damn near unreadable look in response, and had ordered him away from the chateaux. That was when he received word that Luffy had been killed at the hands of Big Mom herself (though he’d also heard that poor Sanji had been forced to take responsibility for it in order to keep the other Straw Hats away from Whole Cake Island). Jinbe felt ill at the revelation, and realized that this must have been his punishment for trying to leave the Big Mom Pirates.

                _Charlotte Linlin takes what she wants without any regard for those around her – not her children, not her crew, not anybody. And now it’s a lesson that the Straw Hat Pirates have been forced to learn, too._ Jinbe closed his eyes and looked towards the chateaux. Was there really nothing anyone at all could do to put an end to this woman’s tyranny?

            Sanji could barely hold himself together, reminding himself over and over again in his head that he had to smile, he had to pretend he was happy, he had to pretend he was okay. He had to pretend that he didn’t hate hearing the name “Vinsmoke-Charlotte Sanji” again. He had hated being “Vinsmoke Sanji” enough as it was, but this?

                That hyphen, that “Charlotte”, he felt like he was suffocating. His hands were trembling, both from the wristlets that were threatening to blow off his precious hands and the gold band now adorning him left ring finger. This girl he barely knew, that he’d barely talked to at all, who was affectionately clinging to him as a crowd of people he didn’t know or care about congratulated her on her new husband.

                _I’m just a toy to her, aren’t I?_ Sanji thought miserably to himself. But he kept smiling and nodding as a seemingly never-ending parade of her brothers and sisters and their spouses all passed through, shaking his hand and welcoming him to “the family”, some of the men (probably not Pudding’s actual brothers, more than likely her sister’s husbands but he wasn’t sure after a while) trying to offer him “advice” for later than evening.

                Sanji forced himself to laugh it off. In reality, all he wanted to do was cry.

                And why shouldn’t he? The corpse of his captain – his real captain – wasn’t even cold yet.

                It didn’t even feel real to Sanji. Luffy couldn’t possibly be dead – this was all just a bad dream he was having the night before this horrible wedding. He’d wake up any moment now and he’d had time to figure out his escape again, or the real Luffy would show up with the others to get him out of his horrible mess. He wouldn’t have to get married because they’d all escape together on the Thousand Sunny and head off on their next adventure.

                But as the wedding reception marched on, it became all the more evident just how real it was. Ichiji gave the world’s worst best man speech. Several of Pudding’s sisters talked about how lucky she was to have a handsome prince for a groom, several of them commenting that they were jealous she was technically a princess now, and Sanji wondered bitterly if that’s why she was so happy with their match.

                Reiju danced with him in place of his poor late mother for the mother-son dance. He kept his eyes lowered to keep from glaring at her the entire time. He’d never forgive her for placing those damn wristlets on him, especially now that they’d never be coming off. She’d taken the news with a bemused giggle.

                While Pudding danced with several of her elder brothers, one right after another, Sanji was pulled aside for a private chat with his mother-in-law. He gritted his teeth – she was one of the reasons he was in the mess, and now he had to bow down to her as his _captain_? Sanji wanted to wretch.

                It was large room (considering Big Mom had to fit inside of it, it had to be), with a single chair before her. She gestured for him to take a seat, and he did, looking up at her with hatred and resentment. “Now that you’re my proper subordinate, I wanted to have a sit down with you about my precious little Pudding.”

                Sanji did everything he could to keep his anger in check. If he screwed up here, he was done.

                “Now then, I expect you to treat my daughter as nothing less than the princess she is . . . thanks to you, of course. She is one of my favorite children, and I expect her to have a happy, fulfilling marriage,” said Big Mom. She grinned. “I do my best to match my children appropriately, and I believe I’ve done well here – she loves to bake, you’re an exceptional cook, and she’s always wanted a strong, handsome man to call her own. I think she’s just tickled you’re a _prince_ on top of all that.”

                Sanji kept his tongue in check.

                “While I understand you may still have some . . . complicated feelings . . . in regards to this morning’s incident, I’d like to remind you that the wedding ceremony isn’t yet completed, but out of respect for my daughter I recognize that a certain level of discretion is necessary. I’m assuming you don’t want an audience for tonight, either.”

                It took a few seconds for Sanji to realize what she was talking about. _Oh. THAT._

                “Tell me young man, are you still a virgin?”

                Now he was starting to squirm uncomfortably.

                Big Mom grinned. “Oh, I’m not bothered either way – either Pudding will get to deflower you, or she’ll have an experienced stallion in her wedding bed tonight. But I want you to understand, young man, that this marriage _will be consummated. **Tonight.**_ And since you _are_ one of my subordinates now, I don’t feel the need to remind you that these are captain’s orders and you will follow them to the letter.”

                This was something Sanji hadn’t put that much thought into. He’d been so focused on everything else going on around him that, somehow, he’d nearly forgotten about this part of a wedding. Oh sure once he’d seen that picture of Pudding he’d thought about what she looked like under that floral shirt, but upon meeting her . . . he didn’t. Because this wasn’t just some girl he was trying to flirt with – this was a woman he was expected to be married to, and that required a lot of work and dedication and commitment he wasn’t ready for.

                Worse, the answer to Big Mom’s earlier question was “yes”. While his virginity was something he’d wanted to rid himself of basically from the onset of puberty, it hadn’t happened for him yet despite his best efforts and now that it was on the cusp as actually happening . . . he didn’t know how to feel. Big Mom was kind of right – the marriage wasn’t “valid” until it was consummated, and that meant giving up the goods.

                _But . . . I should be having that moment with someone I love, right? I don’t even_ know _Pudding – for that matter, how can_ you _do that to your daughter!? She doesn’t know me, either! All right, fine, she’s been all over me since the end of the ceremony but . . . she can’t be_ that _enamored with me already. Can she?_

                “Well?”

                Sanji closed his eyes. _I’ve already sacrificed everything else for the others – I guess my v-card is just next on the list._ “I understand,” he said plainly. _This sucks but . . . Zeff made sure I knew everything I needed to know for this moment. So I just . . . make sure I do everything the old man taught me about safety and . . . that’s that. Assuming Pudding doesn’t have any STDs the only thing we need to worry about is birth control, I guess._

                Big Mom accepted his answer and had him returned to his bride.

_-En route to Wano Country-_

_Should we have all gone after him?_

                Zoro had been wondering this for days, even since Luffy announced his intentions to retrieve Sanji alone and only Nami, Chopper, and Brook had been able to muscle their way in on the mission. It felt _wrong_ that half of the crew wasn’t going, but there wasn’t much they could do. Captain’s orders were absolute, after all, but not know what was going on had been rough on everyone.

                Usopp kept himself busy with his normal tinkering, but everyone could tell his heart wasn’t completely into it. He and Sanji were deceptively close and spent a surprisingly amount of time together since the cook had joined the crew, especially during their days on the Going Merry when the sniper’s workshop was located in the galley. Oh sure, Sanji snapped at him like the other men, but sometimes he gave the sniper a special snack if he was working particularly long hours on a project.

                Robin . . . well she’d been acting really weird. Franky seemed particularly concerned about that, which was also weird, but they’d been oddly chummy since the crew had left Fishman Island over a month ago, so he had taken on the responsibility of keeping an eye on their archaeologist. It seemed that she had picked up a stomach bug or something while on Zou, as she’d been pretty sick for the past few mornings.

                As for himself, Zoro had spent most of his time training, but he found himself on the lookout for the Thousand Sunny more often than not. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was worried about the cook. Sure they fought a lot, but he was reliable and someone the swordsman knew he could count on in a pinch. Not having him around just felt _wrong_.

                _Idiot . . . why’d you let yourself get kidnapped liked that?_

                “Zoro . . .”

                Zoro turned to see Robin and Franky standing behind him, looking at him expectedly. Their expressions were a matching set, full of anxiety and happiness that he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen on either of them before. Even stranger, they were holding hands. “Um . . . yes?” he said. He got to his feet and crossed his arms. “What’s going on?”

                The two exchanged a nervous look before Robin cleared her throat. “There’s, um, something we need to tell you . . .”

_Whole Cake Island_

                “Aren’t you going to carry me over the threshold, Sanji darling?”

                . . . _when did I become Sanji ‘darling’?_ Resigning himself to what he had to do to keep the remaining Straw Hats and Zeff safe, Sanji hoisted Pudding up and into his arms. She giggled and kissed his cheek, drawing her finger across the side of his face as he carried her into the suite of rooms where they would be spending the next seven days for their honeymoon. Pudding had been upset when she found out they wouldn’t be traveling, but when she understood the circumstances surrounding his bargain, she’d just smiled and nodded and did exactly what her mother told her to do.

                Sanji wondered if she had an original thought in her head.

                Once they were inside and he’d hip-checked the door behind them, he lowered Pudding to her feet where she excitedly began to investigate the suite. There was a small kitchen (which Sanji suspected he’d be spending a lot of time in – he needed the distraction) and a small sitting room, and through a half open door he saw a bedroom with a king-sized bed sprinkled with rose petals.

                Sanji swallowed at the sight of the bedroom.

                For the moment, however, it seemed Pudding wanted to share tea with him. Sanji was perfectly fine with putting the . . . “highlight” . . . of the evening off. She led him to the couch in the sitting room and instructed him to sit down before heading into the kitchen, stopping every so often to look over her shoulder, wave her fingers at him, and blush. Sanji nervously waved back.

                It wasn’t that Sanji had intentionally remained a virgin for this moment – he really couldn’t care less about the whole “waiting for marriage” thing, it just so happened he hadn’t been able to coax a girl into bed before. Now that there was a girl not only willing but _expecting_ him to sleep with her . . . he was out of sorts. Her mother had just killed one of his dearest friends. Three of his friends hated him now and they were going to go and tell the rest of his friends why they should hate him, too, so absolutely no one was coming to rescue him. He’d watched the _only_ means of his ever getting off this island, marriage or not, get destroyed before his very eyes. He wasn’t in the _mood_ for this.

                Tea sounded _great_.

                Unfortunately, it quickly became evident after Pudding poured the tea for them that this was some kind of bizarre foreplay to her. While he was trying to enjoy his oolong, she was being very coy, reminding him to be gentle with her, seductively batting her eyes at him and giggling as she started leaning against him, leading one of his hands to her waist. Realizing that the tea wasn’t going to last very long after all, Sanji decided to at least _try_ to make the most of it and leaned in to kiss her.

                Pains of guilt gripped his stomach as he thought about Brook and Chopper screaming the word “traitor” at him, and the silence that Nami had given him during the little show Big Mom had forced him to put on. He pushed those images out of his mind – what he had to do now was survive for the sake of the surviving Straw Hats. He didn’t have any other options but to carry on with this marriage like there wasn’t anything wrong with it – disobeying Germa Kingdom and the Big Mom Pirates would possibly send them both after the others and he did _not_ want to have _two_ Emperors pursuing them.

                _After all . . . Kaido’s pissed off at Luffy, too . . . I need to keep Big Mom_ away _from them._

Sanji slipped an arm under Pudding’s knees – she squealed with delight as he started to carry her into the bedroom. She was whispering dirty things into his ear, which kind of surprised him. He laid her out on the bed, and she grabbed his tie and pulled him on top of her – Sanji yelped in surprise until she captured his mouth in another kiss, and they quietly made out for a few minutes.

                _Okay, this isn’t too bad,_ Sanji thought to himself. Pudding wasn’t the _best_ at making out but whereas he was a technical virgin, he _had_ gotten to second base a few times as a teenager so he wasn’t completely unfamiliar with what to do. He kicked off his shoes and toed off his socks while Pudding started to hike up her dress.

                “Can you take me in my wedding dress?” she asked seductively.

                _That’s kind of . . . kinky,_ Sanji thought. “Uh . . . do you want me in the suit?”

                “Oh, yes, please!” she said in delight.

                _Great. That means we’re further along than I thought._ Sanji propped himself up on the heels of his palms and started looking around the room as Pudding started to unbutton his jacket and shirt. _They must have put something for us to use somewhere, right? But where?_ “Okay . . . so do you know where the condoms are?”

                Pudding sat up and stared at him. “What?” The look on her face was not pleased.

                “Condoms? Protection? You know, so you don’t get pregnant?” Sanji said. Pudding continued to stare at him in confusion. “I, um, look, we’ve known each other for what, three or four days and we’ve spent maybe all of, I don’t know, maybe twelve hours together? Don’t you think we should get to know each other better before, you know, kids enter the equation?”

                Pudding chuckled. “Sanji darling, you can’t consummate a marriage with a condom.”

                Sanji felt the color drain from his face. “You’re kidding me, right?”

                “Mama says the consummation doesn’t count if there’s anything interfering with our union.”

                “But what if you get pregnant?” Sanji asked.

                Pudding laughed. “Wouldn’t that be wonderful?”

                _NO, NO THAT WOULD NOT BE WONDERFUL!_ Sanji wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, but he caught a glimpse of the wristlets and remembered his situation. There was no scenario in which doing anything but having unprotected sex with Pudding was going to end well for him. _But that’s only going to make this_ WORSE! _Can’t I please just catch one, just ONE break!?_

                “Is something wrong, Sanji darling?”

                “N, nothing!” he said, forcing himself to laugh it off. Pudding giggled and started to undo his belt and tugged his pants down, exposing himself to her. He was still flaccid, but he could feel his libido starting to get the better of him. _Maybe if I just don’t get hard Pudding will chalk it up to nerves or something . . . but then what about Big Mom’s threat?! Maybe if I do something else like, I don’t know, I guess I could go down on her or something, maybe that’ll be enough-_

                “Oh _my,_ look at how _big_ you are _!_ ” Pudding exclaimed, raising her hips up to meet his. He could feel the silky crotch of her silken panties touch him and he nearly swooned. He moaned and gasped, and quickly realized that his plan to not get an erection had just failed _spectacularly,_ as his dick was now standing at attention, ready for action.

                _. . . damn it, Monsieur Chef de Partie, you have betrayed me._

                Pudding giggled, happy to see that at least she had Monsier Chef de Partie’s full attention. Sanji’s _other_ decision making organ, however, was desperately trying to come up with a Plan B. _Okay, okay, so performance anxiety is out the window – oh God she’s taking off her panties and HOLY SHIT SHE IS STUNNING! – but I CAN’T get her pregnant – that’s the worst possible thing I could DO right now! Think, think, think!_

There were only two chances Sanji could think of, both courtesy of the sex ed books Zeff had made him read when he hit puberty – he either hoped and prayed really, really hard that Pudding wasn’t ovulating (which would make the sex irrelevant – no egg, no baby) or see if he could get away with pulling out before he came – it was an unreliable method of birth control and Zeff had told him point blank to not rely on it, but it was the only option he had at his disposal – he didn’t think Pudding was on birth control pills or was using a diaphragm. _If I can get Pudding off before I get off, she might not notice if I pull out. Okay, okay, I have a plan! It’s not a good plan, but I have a plan!_

Pudding spread her legs for him – he could feel the heat radiating out from her and he felt himself get light-headed. “Ready?” Sanji felt dizzy. _You can do this – this is for the others. If you don’t do this, Big Mom is going to hunt them down and kill them. Then she might go after everyone else you love – those idiots in Kamabaka Kingdom, or Vivi-chan, or the Franky Family, or the other chefs at the Baratie . . ._

_. . . Zeff . . . I’m so sorry . . ._

Sanji closed his eyes, kissed his wife, and buried himself between her legs.

                “Nngh . . . uh . . .!!!”

                Shitty situation aside, Sanji pulled out of the kiss and looked over Pudding’s face to make sure he hadn’t hurt her – he didn’t have anything against Pudding _personally_ , really. Much to his relief, it looked like she was . . . rather enjoying herself, as her face was awash with what looked like ecstasy. And, truth be told, Sanji’s mind was starting to cloud with feelings of intense pleasure as well.

                “Oooo . . . ooo . . .”

                Pudding felt _incredible_ – way better than his right hand and some lotion. He still wished she was someone else, but there wasn’t anything he could do about that now. She was tight, and he could feel the walls of her sex pulsating around him, warm and wet and inviting him deeper and deeper inside. Sanji struggled to stay focused. One wrong move and this situation was going to get a LOT worse.

 “Oh . . . oh, Sanji darling . . .”

                Sanji gasped as Pudding started to thrust her hips upwards, and his head started spinning. _Okay, okay, play along, but stay focused . . . play along, but stay focused . . ._ Sanji started returning her thrusts, gripping the sheets on the bed beneath them, trying to ground himself in something, _anything_ , other than the pleasant sensations coming from below his waist. 

                “Ooo . . . o,oh . . .”

                _Okay, if_ THIS _is part of being trapped on this island forever, this isn’t . . . terrible,_ Sanji decided. Granted everything _else_ was terrible, but the sex wasn’t bad (he assumed – he didn’t know about Pudding but this was _his_ first time so he had no real comparison) and maybe he could convince Pudding to use protection going forward now that their marriage was consummated. He was reasonably certain Big Mom was going to expect grandchildren eventually, but maybe they could have a child at their own pace if he played his cards right.

                “. . . yes . . . oh yes . . .”

                Sanji was starting to feel himself get close and tried to focus on something, anything to stop himself from coming. Big Mom, maybe? Definitely not sexy (hell, if _that_ face wasn’t a boner killer he didn’t know _what_ was) but that was too much – going soft all together would probably just offend Pudding and get him in trouble. He couldn’t focus, he could barely think of anything – if he wasn’t so distracted he might have a chance but his mind was really starting to cloud itself.

                “Ah . . . ahhh . . .”

                _Okay . . . okay . . . ahh, oh, oh . . . what can I do I delay this without going soft? Kamabaka Kingdom, maybe? No, no, too much, too much . . . Patty and Carne in bikinis . . . eww . . . maybe that ime Zeff caught me masturbating in the broom closet . . . although I did have a really good magazine NO DON’T THINK OF THE MAGAZINE! Shit, now what? What am I supposed to do to distract myself!?_

                Thinking of the Straw Hats made him sad, maybe that would work.

                “Mmm . . . hmm-hmm-hmm . . .”

                He really should have gotten along better with Zoro – along with Luffy, they were the two doing to the most to keep everyone safe and getting along better might have made that easier. Maybe he shouldn’t have teased Chopper so much with all the emergency food supply bullshit (he would have _never_ seriously cooked and served the little doctor to his friends). He should have taken up Usopp on more chances to go fishing – the sniper was the Straw Hat he had felt the most relaxed around, other than the girls, and they had a lot of good talks. He should have spent more time listening to Brook playing the violin or the piano – he really was incredibly talented, and that music was always so soothing. And with Franky, he should have spent more time appreciating just how beautifully crafted the Thousand Sunny really was and how much he’d tailored the ship to their crew. Robin was-

                _NO, NO, NO, DO NOT THINK OF ROBIN-CHAN!_

                “. . . God, you’re so _big!!_ ”

                But not thinking of Robin only left him with one other option . . .

                _NAMI-SAN! NO!_

                The image of Nami’s smiling face combined with Pudding choosing that moment to wrap her legs around his waist sealed his doom. Pudding was coming and had pushed him in deep in the throes of her own pleasure, while thoughts of the navigator’s laughter had sent him over the edge as well. Sanji felt his body shudder as he lost control of the situation, cried out, and ejaculated, still buried deep inside of his bride.

                _. . . fuck._

                It was a bizarre feeling to be sure. Part of him was in ecstasy – this was much more intense than whatever he’d been able to do on his own. But the rest of him was in the grips of despair – terror, shame, and guilt wracked his body and it took every ounce of willpower he had to not start sobbing in response to what he’d just done. Defeated and humiliated, Sanji rolled off of Pudding and stared at up at the ceiling in horror. _I . . . I just can’t make this situation any better for myself, can I? I fucked up on Zou . . . I fucked up fighting that bastard . . . now I’ve . . ._

                “That was incredible!” Pudding said, hovering over him to capture his mouth in a kiss. Sanji clenched his eyes shut, half-heartedly returning the kiss as she giggled into his mouth, mumbling about how lucky she was to be married to him. _Maybe you’re lucky . . . but what about me? Don’t you get it? Don’t you understand that I’m a prisoner here? Don’t you understand what your mother is doing to me? To you?_

                But more importantly . . . he’d failed to pull out. Which meant . . . Sanji tried not to panic. Just because they’d had unprotected sex and he’d made a mess of her womb with his seed didn’t mean there was no chance they’d get out of this without a baby . . . right? But as Pudding continued to prattle on about how fantastic of a lover he’d been and how excited she was for another go-round, all Sanji could think about was how much he really, really hoped that there wouldn’t be an addition to this fucked up little family of theirs.

_~ The Depths of Big Mom’s Chateaux ~_

_Ugh . . . where . . . am I?_

“Awake already? I thought you’d be out for a few days.”

                Luffy opened his eyes. His head was throbbing and he could barely move. The last thing he remembered was getting into a fight with Big Mom and getting slammed into the wall – _GOD_ that woman hit hard. How long had he been out, anyways? He needed to find Nami and the others so they could save Sanji-

                “ _SANJI!_ ” Luffy cried out. “ _SANJI! WHERE ARE YOU!? WE NEED TO GET YOU OUT OF HERE BEFORE-_ “

                The sound of Big Mom’s cackling filled the air, and Luffy got a good look at his surroundings. It was a plain looking prison cell, but he could feel the seastone lining this new cage. The door had a tiny little barred window, and through it he could make out at least part of Big Mom’s fat, ugly face. He got to his feet and started screaming at her. “ _LET ME OUT! I HAVE TO SAVE SANJI!_ ”

                “You mean from the wedding?” Big Mom teased. “It was a lovely ceremony. _You really should have been there._ ”

                Luffy’s eyes widened. _I . . . couldn’t save him? No . . . NO!_ “GIVE HIM BACK! HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE A PART OF YOUR CREW! HE DOESN’T WANT TO MARRY THAT GIRL! LET HIM GO!” He grabbed at the bars but felt his strength leave him and he collapsed to his knees. He gritted his teeth, still not ready to give up. “Where is he!?”

                “By now? Consummating his marriage and my alliance with Germa Kingdom.”

                Luffy shook with rage.

                “And as for you . . . you’ve going to be staying here a while. If I’d had it my way you’d be dead, but my dear sweet Jinbe begged me to let you live, and I agreed . . . and I always keep my promises to my crew,” Big Mom stated plainly. She lowered her face to better look into the cell. “Of course he never asked me about letting you _leave._ ”

                “Y . . . you . . .”

                “Ah, ah, ah! Just because I’ve agreed to keep you alive doesn’t mean I have to treat you _well._ I would suggest you find a way to make yourself comfortable – I’m afraid I don’t usually entertain long term guests.”

                _“GIVE ME BACK MY COOK!”_

“He’s mine now, _boy._ I suggest you get used to that.”

Chopper was wailing. “S, San-ji!!! Why did you . . . why did you abandon us?! WAHHHH!”

                Brook sighed, looking at the water bitterly. He should have known the moment he saw Sanji for the first time that he was related to those bastards and he should have known that a _Vinsmoke_ would make a selfish decision like that. Had everything else all been an act? It didn’t make sense, but Brook was too angry to care about sense.

                This was the second time he’d lost someone he cared about to those monsters.

                _Fuck you, Sanji. Just FUCK YOU. I hope you’re enjoying your three eyed freak._

Carrot and Pedro had made themselves scarce. The bunny girl was devastated that the savior of her homeland had betrayed the people trying to save him, and the jaguar man was being distant and moody. Brook wasn’t sure what was going to happen to them next – Carrot might be in trouble for sneaking off, and Pedro . . . who knew what he was going to do next.

                Brook caught a glimpse of Nami at the back of the ship, staring out at the trail of waves and sea form the Thousand Sunny was leaving in its wake. Brook frowned (at least as much as he could without a real face). Their navigator must have been devastated – she had taken Sanji’s kidnapping (ha, ha, “kidnapping”) the hardest and had been the most adamant about getting him back. Of course considering what had played out between the two, he shouldn’t have been surprised, and it honestly made Brook want to skewer the bastard.

                It had been no secret that Sanji was particularly attracted to Nami – he spoke differently to her, acted different around her . . . it was subtle, but it was there. And during their journey to Zou, Brook noticed that Nami’s behavior was starting to change, too. It was curious, to say the least, but it looked like she was regretting taking him for granted after he’d nearly been killed by Doflamingo. It was _very_ subtle with Nami, certainly too subtle for Chopper or Momonosuke to notice, but Brook was old and even though he’d spent fifty long years away from people, he did understand them pretty well.

                Brook happened to steal a glimpse of Sanji and Nami kissing during his final night with the crew.

                But now that he, apparently, had an equally attractive woman and a chance at a better position in a bigger crew, he’d dumped poor Nami like yesterday’s garbage, and that made the Straw Hat’s musician _furious._ How _dare_ he toy with her emotions like that! _How DARE that bastard! That VINSMOKE BASTARD!_

                Anger, however, was not what Nami needed at the moment. She needed someone to comfort her. Brook took the place next to her at the back of the ship and turned to look at her. She hadn’t spoken a word since Sanji declared he was leaving the crew (coward couldn’t even _face them_ properly), and her face looked hollow as she stared out at the ocean.

                “Nami, dear . . . do you need to talk?” asked Brook.

                “. . . we shouldn’t have left him behind,” she said softly.

                Brook was aghast at her. How could she _say_ that?! “Nami, I think-“

                Nami turned to him, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. “In Big Mom’s throne room, there was this platter hanging on the wall right by where Sanji was talking. Someone must have polished it really well, almost like it was a mirror.” She continued to fight back tears. “You didn’t see his reflection, did you?”

                “No.” Why would he care about seeing that smug bastard’s reflection?

                “. . . he was crying . . .”

                Brook clenched his fists. _Even after what you did . . . she still believes in you . . . bastard . . ._

 

                It was the wee hours of the morning, but Sanji couldn’t sleep.

                Pudding had her arms wrapped around him, her face nuzzled in the crook of his neck as she slept. Having to continue playing the role of the “happy newlywed,” he’d had sex with Pudding two more times, both of them ending up completely naked by the time they were finally done for the night. Both times he tried to make himself feel better by pretending she was Nami-san – it didn’t really work, because when it was all over and he saw Pudding he felt worse. Both times he’d failed to pull out again, tripling his chances of getting her pregnant.

                Worse still . . . didn’t multiple births run in families?

Sanji wanted to scream, but he didn’t dare wake up Pudding. Instead he quietly sobbed as the horror continued to sink in further and further, even more than it already had. He was never going home. He was never seeing his friends again. He’d never sail the seas as a pirate again. He was never going to see the All Blue.

                Luffy and the others really had been his only hope.

Even though he was now a married man, Sanji had never felt more alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes
> 
> Hey guys, Dixxy here! If you’re a new reader . . . welcome to my world! I like to write about terrible things happening to my favorite characters because that’s what I do! If you’re one of my regulars, hey guys, don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about Mass x Acceleration but I needed to get this fic out of my system ASAP for reasons that will probably become apparent pretty quickly – there’s some upsetting stuff in here. Not quite like A Force Against Inertia but, well, you’ll see. 
> 
> So for this fic I’m trying a few different things. For one, this is the first fic I’ve posted that is going to contain explicit sexual content (although if you don’t know that already . . . why are you reading the end of chapter author’s notes without having read the prologue?). I decided to do this because while I could just have Sanji recount his thoughts and feelings after the fact I felt like it had more impact to have the scenes take place on screen. Second, unlike what I usually do, I did try to get a good chunk of this story at least planned out before I started writing it – I want the writing to tight and on-point considering the serious subject matter involved. 
> 
> If you’re itching for more already, be sure to check out the short story “Tea Party”, which serves as a sort of “soft introduction” to this universe.
> 
> I’m not sure on the update schedule just yet but I think I have enough in the can that I can comfortable do weekly or bi-weekly. 
> 
> Also, please note: this story was being written and planned during late summer/fall of 2016, when the events of Whole Cake Island were still developing and we didn’t really know if Pudding was going to shake out as an ally or an enemy (i.e. before she got her Oda Box), so it’s very possible portrayals of some characters won’t be accurate to their canon counterparts. 
> 
> AO3 Readers: You guys are getting the unedited version of the story, but if you’d prefer a “clean” edit without the sex scenes you can check out the FanfictionDotNet version.
> 
> Please note that there will be other trigger warning-esque scenes in the fic but those will not be cut from either version of the fic. 
> 
> Please be sure to comment if you liked the fic - comments are always appreciated!
> 
> Dixxy


	2. This Is How I Know I Can Trust You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin and Franky have exciting news for the rest of the crew. Zoro discovers he's the new captain at the crew's darkest moment. Sanji decides the best course of action is to make his marriage work, but the plan falls apart in ways he never expected.

_One week after the wedding . . ._

                “Hey, Robin, check it out! Luffy and the others are here!”

                Robin looked up from her research and her eyes lighting up in excitement. Franky was pointing out the Thousand Sunny on the horizon, a wide grin plastered on his face. She turned back to look at him with a wide smile on her face. “Thank goodness – I was afraid we weren’t going to get them back. Big Mom could have killed them all and put their heads on pikes.”

                Franky frowned. “Robin . . . can you make me a promise?”

                “Yes?”

                Franky crossed his arms. “Can you maybe . . . not say those kinds of things in front of the kid?”

                Robin looked around for children, then laughed to herself. She rested her hand over her belly with a knowing smile. “Oh, right, of course.”

                Franky and Robin had been harboring feelings for each other for over two years. Perhaps the Enies Lobby incident had brought them together. Perhaps it was the _unusual_  way Robin had convinced Franky to join the Straw Hats. Whatever the reason, they were smitten with each other but neither of them quite knew what to do about it. 

                Then Saoboady happened.

                It had been a grim reminder for all of the Straw Hats. Nothing on the Grand Line was safe, nothing was guaranteed. So, once the crew reunited two years later, the archaeologist and cyborg decided to make a move. 

                It was in the aftermath of the fight with Hody Jones that things reached their peak. The pair snuck off for the night to talk, but they wound up doing much more than talking. They made love several times that night and talked about their future. 

                It had been a magical evening.

                Unfortunately, the condoms they'd used didn't withstand how SUPER Franky was that week. This went unnoticed until the pair left Dressrosa. Robin had been feeling ill during their voyage to Zou, but no one knew why. It wasn't until a few days after Luffy left to rescue Sanji that they found out Robin was pregnant. 

                Usopp had been shocked and Zoro had been less than pleased. After all, they were on the verge of doing battle with Kaido and they were going to need all hands on deck and then some. The Straw Hat Grand Fleet, as they called themselves, might even need to be called in for help. Having one of their core members pregnant was a recipe for disaster.

                “I’m sure we’ll be fine. The baby won’t be here for a while, and I’ll be able to hold my own for a while,” Robin had assured the swordsman. She patted Franky on the shoulder. “Besides, Franky will protect me if things get too rough.”

                Franky had struck a pose. “I’m going to be a SUPER father! Ha ha!”

                But now it was time to tell the others. Franky took Robin’s hand as the two gleefully broke into a sprint as they headed towards the shore. Having a baby on the ship would be difficult, but Robin refused to leave her child behind. Franky concurred. They would make it work. They were in love, after all, and they were going to have a family.

                Robin wondered how the remaining Straw Hats would react. Brook would, of course, be commissioned to write their child a lullaby. Chopper was going to walk them through every step of the pregnancy and deliver the baby. Nami was going to freak out, but she’d help out as much as possible once she got used to the idea. She'd probably take her baby clothes shopping, too.

                Robin imagined that Sanji would have a conniption, although that would pass. He would have a lot of fun inventing new and interesting recipes for the baby. It would be good to have a professional chef on hand - their baby would be well fed and healthy with him around. 

                Luffy was going to be excited that they were getting a new crewmate.

                The happy couple continued to race to the shoreline.

                Today was going to be a good day.  

 

                Zoro was waiting for the Thousand Sunny by the shoreline with Law. He watched the ship as it approached, but something didn't feel right. Something was missing, but what? "Do you notice anything strange about the ship, Law?" Zoro asked his companion. Law shrugged, and the swordsman turned his attention back to the ship.  

                It became clear something was wrong once the ship made landfall. Chopper and Carrot ( _Ah, so she did stow away_ _,_  Zoro thought to himself) looked crestfallen, their heads hanging sadly. Pedro looked moody and distant. Brook and Nami were shouting at each other, almost ready to tear at each other's throats.

                No Pekoms.

                No Sanji.

                No Luffy.

                “What the hell is going on?!” Zoro yelled, getting the returning group’s attention.

                All five stopped to look at Zoro and the others. Chopper immediately started to cry and threw himself at the swordsman, sobbing as he tried to tell him what happened. Carrot wasn’t much better, while Pedro seem content to stew. That left Brook and Nami, who had conflicting looks of determination in their eyes as their arguement continued.

                “What is wrong with you?! Now that we can get Zoro and the others to help us we have to go back there and help him!” Nami yelled. “He saved our lives, I know it! And we’re  _abandoning_ him there!”

                “That bastard betrayed us!” Brook responded.

                “No he didn’t!” Nami shot back. “I told you, I saw his reflection, he was  _crying_!”

                “You don’t know what you saw!”

                “I know  _exactly_  what I saw! Sanji-kun sacrificed himself for us!”

                “No, the  _traitor_  was  _GLOATING_  about his betrayal!”

                 _Traitor?_  Zoro’s one good eye widened in shock.  _That can’t be right. Why does Brook think the stupid cook is a traitor? He’s a lot of things but . . . he’s just as loyal as the rest of us. He’s no traitor!_ He made a “T” with his hands, calling for a time out from the other Straw Hats. “Okay, okay, back it up and tell me what happened from start to finish – got it?”

                Nami and Brook started their stories at the same time, creating an unintelligible mess.  The navigator was begging Zoro to lead them back to Whole Cake Island. Brook was calling for the cook’s head. Sighing in frustration, the swordsman put two fingers in his mouth and whistled, stopping the argument. He pointed to Nami for an explanation. “You first.”

                The navigator took a deep breath. “We got separated from Luffy while trying to rescue Sanji-kun. Pekoms had already disappeared but . . . we don’t know what happened to him. The rest of us were eventually captured and brought into Big Mom’s throne room . . . and there was Sanji-kun. But he was acting weird like we were beneath him and-”

                “-because in his eyes, we  _are_  beneath him!” Brook snapped. “Nami, my dear, he’s a  _Vinsmoke_!”

                “Brook, back off!” Zoro ordered.

                “No, I am  _not_  going to stand down! Those bastards murdered my crew! They murdered  _me!_  Now one of them has  _murdered my captain!_ ” shouted Brook. Silence fell over the group as the skeleton tried to calm himself. “I'm telling you. Sanji . . . murdered . . .  _Luffy._ ”

                “Luffy’s . . . dead?” Zoro asked.  _There’s . . . there’s no way . . ._

                “ _WE DON’T KNOW THAT!_ ” Nami shouted back, pushing the skeleton in anger. “I told you, when he was telling us he’d killed Luffy, he was  _crying!_  He's not the one who did it! He doesn't want to stay there! That’s why he couldn’t look at us! Big Mom must have forced him to say all those horrible things because  _that’s not my Sanji-kun!_ ”

                “Oh,  _your_  ‘Sanji-kun’?!” Brook snapped back. “He never cared about you! He was just waiting for an opportunity to return back to that snake’s nest he calls a home. I bet he saw you as a potential way to warm his bed some night! Now that he’s married to someone of stature, he’s never going to give you another thought! To him, you’re just some girl who wouldn’t put out!”

                “BROOK!” Zoro yelled. “THAT’S ENOUGH!”

                “ _No it isn't!_ I’ve been hurt  _twice_  by those monsters!” Brook shouted. "Do you know what it's like to watch everyone you love  _die!?_  Because  _I DO!_ The Vinsmokes are  _monsters_  and Sanji has shown us he's no better than the rest of them!" 

                “We don’t know that!” said Zoro. “I'm having a hard time believing he'd do that! And even as strong as the stupid cook is, he’s not strong enough to beat Luffy! So how, then, would he be able to kill him!?”

                “Well, he did  _backstab_ us, maybe he knifed him in the back!” said Brook.

                “ _You’re wrong! You’re wrong! That’s not it! That can’t be it! Sanji-kun wouldn’t do any of that!”_ Nami was in tears now.  _“He sacrificed himself so the rest of us could get away! That’s why we have to go back and rescue him! We can’t just leave him there all alone! There’s no way he’d murder Luffy and there’s no way he’d just leave us like that!”_

In that moment Zoro realized that (in some respects) this argument was  _meaningless_. Whether or not Luffy was dead and whether or not Sanji had been the one to kill him, they were  _both gone_. That meant leadership was now on  _his_  shoulders. That’s why Nami was begging him to go back for Sanji. That’s why Brook was trying so hard to convince him that the cook had mutinied. They were turning to him for guidance.

                Zoro looked down to where Chopper was still sobbing into his leg. “Chopper . . . what happened?” he asked. The little doctor was still wailing, making him useless as a witness. He turned his attention to the two Minks for an explanation. Carrot raised her hand, sniffling as she did. “All right . . . Carrot, I want another opinion.”

                “I . . . I don’t know. Sanji definitely said all those things . . . but I want to believe Nami. No one saw his reflection but her, though. I guess it’s hard to say if it’s wishful thinking or if we really did just abandon him . . .” she said.

                “It sounds as if Prince Sanji didn’t fall so far from the family tree."

                During the argument, the Straw Hats had all but forgotten about Law. The surgeon had a serious look on his face as he continued. “But that leaves us in a bit of a bind. Without Mugiwara-ya and Black Leg-ya, we don’t have enough manpower to defeat Kaido.” He turned to Zoro, his arms crossed. “I believe this makes  _you_  the new captain of the Straw Hat Pirates, Zoro-ya.”

                 _. . . fuck my life . . ._

                “What’s going on? Where’s Luffy?”

                Zoro and the group turned their attention to see Robin and Franky had arrived. They were holding hands as they looked for the rest of their crew, concern on their faces. The swordsman felt his gut sink.  _That’s right – Robin’s pregnant. This is a disaster. We’re down two of our best guys and one of our Devil Fruit users is going to be out of commission in a few months. Then we're going to have a baby on the ship. This isn't good._

Before Brook or Nami could interject, they heard Usopp screaming in the distance.

                “ _KAIDO IS COMING!_ ”

                _Kaido . . ._ Zoro’s eyes widened. There was no way the crew would be able to take on Kaido like this . . . even with Law’s help. No Luffy and no Sanji had left them dead in the water.  _I’m not enough to take on an emperor . . . that would be a suicide mission . . . and with Robin and the baby . . . I can’t just act recklessly right now . . ._

                Zoro turned to the rest of the crew. “We need to get ready to leave.”

                Law shot Zoro a look. “You can’t be serious.”

               Nami’s eyes widened. “Are we going after Sanji-kun!?”

               Zoro gritted his teeth. Without having been there himself, he didn’t know what to make of the story he’d just heard.  _It doesn’t matter, though – I can’t take on Big Mom by myself, either. Going in to try and save him would be a suicide mission. I can't risk that._  “No. None of us are strong enough to take on Kaido – not without Luffy or the stupid cook. And we have other things to worry about, too.” Zoro turned to Law. “You know I’m right.”

                Law closed his eyes and crossed his arms. “You may be right . . . but it sounds like, if Brook-ya is right and Black Leg-ya did betray us all . . . then we’re all fucked.” He turned to walk away from the Straw Hats. “I’m going to gather my crew to leave. I would suggest you get as much distance as you can between here and the Beast Pirates.”

                “Why’s that?”

                “Because my ship can hide beneath the waves – yours  _can’t_.”

                “So you’re going to just let us take the fall!?” Nami yelled.

                “It isn’t my fault the plan fell apart. It was the foolishness of Mugiwara-ya and the selfishness of Black Leg-ya that let to this. I’ll do you all a favor and let you leave here in peace, but I need to protect my crew and you need to protect yours. This isn't personal, this is  _survival._ ”

                “How kind of you,” Zoro said coldly.  _He’s doing us no favors at all – but he’s not wrong, either. This_ is _on our crew. And now . . . we need to start running._  He turned to the rest of the Straw Hats . . . if they could even be called that anymore . . . and gave the order to prepare to leave.  _I’m the captain now, so it’s my job to keep everyone safe._

                 _Sanji . . . if you really are trying to protect us . . ._

_. . . I’m sorry . . ._

_Three Weeks Later, Whole Cake Island_

                Something felt off when Sanji woke up. Groggily, he pushed himself up and looked around, blinking in disorientation. This didn’t look like the men’s cabin or the galley.  _What . . . Where am I?! What  happened to the Thousand Sunny?! Why . . . oh . . . right_.  Sanji dropped back down into the bed, burying his face in the pillow. He took a deep breath, held it, and tried to prepare himself for the day.

                 _Just take it one day at a time . . . just take it one day at a time . . ._

Sanji turned to look at the left side of the bed. Pudding was still asleep, though during the night she’d rolled over and had her back to him. That was a little odd - she usually clung to him like a child hugging a teddy bear. He breathed a sigh of relief as he slipped out of bed. Grabbing his cigarettes and lighter from his nightstand, he headed out onto the balcony. 

                As his lit up his first cigarette of the day, Sanji thought about his situation. Pudding didn’t want him smoking in the house, and though he’d wanted to protest, he decided to hold off. He was going to need to pick and choose his battles carefully until he understood this new status quo better. Besides, she didn’t say no smoking  _period_ , just no smoking  _in the house_. Not exactly an unreasonable request. 

                As a wedding gift, Sanji and Pudding had been given a house. Much to his relief it was made of  _real_  building materials and not cotton candy or something stupid like that. It wasn’t that big, just two stories with an attic and a basement, but it was  _stable_. Big Mom had insinuated that if they ever needed a bigger house she'd provide one for them. 

                Pudding had lit up in joy. Sanji wanted to cower in a corner.

                As it turned out, there was more going on with his wedding night than he realized. The Charlottes considered it good luck when newlyweds conceived right away. This explained why Big Mom was so insistent they consummated the marriage that night and why Pudding didn't want to use protection. Both of them had  _wanted_  Sanji to get her pregnant even if Sanji wasn't ready for fatherhood. Making things worse, they scheduled the wedding around Pudding's . . . "natural cycle" . . . to maximize their chances of conception. 

                In other words they'd had unprotected sex  _three times_ on a night when his wife was most likely to be ovulating.

                Creepier, they hadn't had sex since. Not that Sanji was in a rush to proposition Pudding, he was still torn up about everything that had happened. But the Charlottes wanted to know  _for certain_  when conception took place. That meant they hadn't been intimate for the past month while they waited to find out either way. Pudding and Big Mom were, of course, hoping she was with child. Sanji was hoping for the opposite outcome. 

                 . . . although Pudding  _had_  been sick yesterday morning . . .

                Sanji shook his head and tried not to think about it. He told himself it might just be a stomach bug. There were a lot of people in the city, she could have picked it up from one of them. At least, that’s what he told himself to stay calm. Which he needed since he didn’t have much of anything to do except . . . be in the house or wander around the city.

                Recently, he’d been given his “official” job as one of the Big Mom Pirates . . . and it was kind of a slap in the face. “Auxiliary Relief Guard” meant he was backup  _for_  the backup. Then again, what other role could he have? He couldn’t go on one of Big Mom’s ships as even a simple sailor. The kitchens in the chateaux were already over-crowded. Sanji wouldn’t have minded the bustle of the kitchens, but then he saw one of Big Mom's food rampages. He decided he didn't want to be on the recieivng end of _that_ bullshit. 

                Sanji took a drag from his cigarette and sat down against the balcony railing. He rested his forehead on his outstretched arm and closed his eyes. It wasn’t even as if he could vent to anyone about his situation. He hadn’t made any friends on the island yet and even if he’d wanted to, Pudding had been monopolizing his time. She enjoyed dragging him from sister to sister to sister to show him off like a new toy. She'd spend the visits prattling on about how wonderful he was, but she went into  _way_  too much detail. Fine, tell them he was a good cook, Sanji liked that about himself. But something about how she talked about his “sexual prowess” made his skin crawl.

                 _“Our wedding night was wonderful! We made love three times and he was absolutely magnificent! He was in nice and deep each time he finished, too! I’m sure we’re going to get some very good news very soon about our family growing, isn’t that right, Sanji darling?”_

                Sanji did not think sharing  _that_  much detail about their wedding night was appropriate. He wasn't surprised women had their own version of locker room talk, but not when it came to . . . that. He hated listening as is sisters-in-law all “oooed” and “ahhed” and giggled inappropriately. He’d blushed furiously, surprised to learn that he was the type to even  _do that_  when the subject came up. When he’d tried to protest against Pudding bringing it up, the sisters all thought he was “adorable”. Sanji just felt emasculated.

                There was a sound of shuffling coming from their bedroom. Pudding was awake. Sanji closed his eyes, listening intently as he tried to figure out what she was up to. He heard the padding of feet on the floor, followed by an audible gag. He winced at the sound of running to the bathroom door – even after it slammed shut he could hear her retching. Sanji swore under his breath – that made two mornings in a row.

                 _It could still be a stomach bug – don’t panic yet_.

                Getting to his feet, Sanji contemplated a second cigarette. He sighed – if he was going to have to smoke outside from now on, he needed to get used to having fewer smokes a day.  _Great, something else to get used to. I can’t even enjoy my smokes anymore? Bad enough she’s got me on a short leash and wants to have a damn baby . . ._

Sanji scowled. It wasn’t that he never wanted children. He thought fatherhood might be nice later in life. They should have waited at least a year or two to try and have a kid, not  _a few_   _hours_. As much as he didn't want this marriage, well, shouldn't he get a chance to bond with his wife before a baby showed up? Kids complicated things, and his life was  _already_  complicated. If Pudding  _was_  pregnant . . . what was he supposed to do then?

                He heard a soft knocking behind him. Sanji turned his head and saw Pudding stepping out onto the balcony. She was wiping the corner of her mouth with a hand towel. Sanji wondered what she wanted and studied her visage. She looked tired, but happy. Happy was good, he thought. Maybe.

                “Sanji darling . . .”

                 _She’s more than happy . . . she’s . . . glowing . . . and what’s that stick she’s holding?_

_. . . oh no. . ._

Sanji tried to hide his panic.  _OH NO!!!_

“. . . I have wonderful news . . .”

 

               The doctor confirmed it. Pudding was pregnant.

                Pudding was off celebrating with her sisters while Sanji took some time to be alone. He found a patch of secluded woods to destroy, and now he was sitting amongst the mess he’d made. Sanji ran his hands through his hair, puffing on two cigarettes as he tried to calm himself down. Letting out a flurry of kicks against the trees had helped calm his mood for a little bit, but it didn’t last.

                There was no surprise that Pudding loved the news. To her, this was like a dream come true. Sanji reasoned this was probably the result of years of being told this was her ultimate purpose in life. It was her duty as one of Big Mom's daughters to get married and get pregnant as soon as possible. 

                But Sanji had sat there listening to the doctor as if he was being given the date and time of his execution. He'd spent the whole time playing the events of their wedding night in his head over and over and over again. He hated himself for not being able to take better control of the situation.

                This was exactly what he’d been trying to avoid, and he’d fucked it up.

                 _Can’t just one thing go my way?! Just ONE?!_

                “. . . Sanji-kun.”

                Sanji’s head shot up in recognition. Someone here . . . knew him? But that didn't make any sense – no one should have come for him and even so it was way too late to save him now. He looked around until his eyes finally locked on a familiar face. His jaw dropped, his cigarette hitting the ground unceremoniously.

                “J, Jinbe!?”

                “I’m sorry it took me so long to find you . . .” he said somberly. 

                “What . . . what are you doing here?”  _Did . . . did Jinbe come to rescue to me?_ That almost made sense to Sanji. Luffy  _had_  asked Jinbe to join the Straw Hats, he’d just had some business to take care of first. So then did Luffy get in contact with him before going after him?

                He stepped into the freshly made clearing, looked at the destruction, and raised an eyebrow at Sanji. “I take it you’re not adjusting very well to married life, are you?” The cook stared up at the fishman, not sure what to make of his presence.

                “Luffy’s dead,” he said. “And I already told the others I’ve sworn my loyalty to Big Mom so-“

                “-you told the others what you had to tell them so they could leave the island safely.”

                Sanji looked away. “How the hell did you know that?”

                “Do you think the only thing Big Mom got out of Fishman Island was a candy factory?” Jinbe let out a bitter laugh. “No. She wanted the Sun Pirates as well. Our first mate volunteered for the marriage, but it has bound us to her servitude. That was why I couldn’t accept Luffy-kun’s invitation – I needed to sever ties with Big Mom, first.”

                Sanji lowered his eyes, feeling himself shaking with rage – Luffy had  _trusted_  Jinbe. Now he finds out he was . . . “You were one of her subordinates all along?!” He struggled to his feet and glared at Jinbe. “Why the hell didn’t you tell us that!?” He wanted to lash out, but he knew better than to try. “And why the hell are you telling me that now!?”

                Jinbe sighed, the look on his face telling Sanji that perhaps this wasn’t a betrayal after all. “You made sacrifices for your crew, I’ve made sacrifices for mine." He closed his eyes. "I tried to give her something in exchange for leaving her servitude . . . but it wasn't enough. And her asking price was too high to pay. I couldn't let that much blood run through the streets of my home."

                Sanji's eyes widened.  _She threatened Fishman Island . . . all to keep just one person on her crew!?_

                Jinbe looked up at the sky. “Once I backed down, she forbade me from returning there. She's even put a stranglehold on the ports - nothing comes in or leaves without her approval. I can only see the other Sun Pirates because they, too, are under her thumb." He closed his eyes. "Whitebeard would have never made a bargain like that. I heard Red Haired Shanks wouldn’t do that, either. But Big Mom got to us first, and we had no choice but to go under her protection.”

                "She threatened my home, too," Sanji said. He closed his eyes and swallowed at the memory of Zeff and the other chefs of the Baratie. "She threatened my home, she threatened my friends, and she threatened my hands." Sanji rolled up the sleeve of his shirt. Jinbe gasped and recoiled at the sight. "I can't even leave this island right now."

                Jinbe had a scowl on his face. "Slave trade restraints."

                Sanji lowered his hand and turned his gaze back to the fishman. "Why are you here? I can't help you, and you can't help me."

                “Because if things had gone another way, we would have been crew mates." He closed his eyes. "Well, we  _are_  crew mates now just, not under the captain we'd prefer. I wanted to join Luffy-kun, and you wanted to stay with Luffy-kun,” he said. “So because of that, I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

                “. . . I’m great. Just fantastic. Nothing better than getting kidnapped by the jackasses I escaped from. They used to beat the shit out me, locked me in the dungeon, kept an iron mask over my face . . . I was  _eight._ And they kept me locked up like that for  _seven months_. And when I escaped, they didn't even  _care_. Not until they figured out they could use me for this alliance. Now they're all off playing war games in the North Blue." Jinbe stayed quiet, patiently watching Sanji. He scoffed. “I hope they all choke on their own vomit.”

                “I understand your situation is difficult-“

                Sanji cut him off. “Difficult? You think my situation is ‘difficult’?! They stole me away from the crew I love! My captain is  _dead_  and everyone else thinks I’ve betrayed them! I am  _never_  going to find the All Blue because I can't even  _leave this island_!” Sanji pointed at his wedding ring. “I’m now  _married_  to a woman I BARELY know and  _she’s fucking pregnant!_ ”

                Jinbe lowered his head. “I . . . was unaware . . .”

                Breathing heavily, Sanji realized he wasn’t accomplishing anything. None of this was Jinbe’s fault, and he was trying to be nice to him. Sanji knelt down, lowering his head. “I’m sorry, I’m . . . this pregnancy is not something I wanted but . . . Big Mom said I had to consummate the marriage and Pudding wouldn’t let me use any protection, so now . . . this is happening.” The cook focused on his breathing, remembering how excited Pudding had been and how . . . numb . . . he’d felt. “We . . . just found out this morning. Pudding was . . . late, and she’s been sick the last two mornings . . . and the doctor confirmed it. She’s off gallivanting with her sisters because they think it’s magic she got knocked up on our wedding night. or some stupid shit,” he said bitterly. He fell back and leaned forward. “I promised Luffy I would stay strong but . . . but I don’t . . . I just . . . I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

                Jinbe didn’t seem like he had an answer for him. “Sanji-kun-“

                Sanji shook his head. “. . . Jinbe, I know that’s your thing when you talk to people, but . . . I’m not sure I want you to call me that,” he said. Jinbe raised an eyebrow at him. “It was Nami-san’s special nickname just for me. She didn’t use honorifics with anyone else in the crew.” He gripped the sleeve of his shirt. “And now I’ll never hear her say those words again.”

                “. . . you loved her, didn’t you?”

                Sanji clenched his eyes shut. Thinking about her hurt a lot because Jinbe was right. “. . . I’m never going to forget the sound of her silence when I told them I was leaving.”

                It wasn’t much, but Jinbe offered him a hug. Seeing as he didn’t have anything else going for him, Sanji took it. It was the first time anyone had offered him any comfort since he’d kidnapped. The hug was a nice change of pace. Knowing that Jinbe, too, had suffered a loss, Sanji squeezed the other man.

                “I’m sorry you can’t go back home, Jinbe.”

                “I’m sorry you can’t go back home, either, Sanji.”

               

                After having a quick smoke by the side door, Sanji found himself alone in an empty house. Pudding must have still been out with her sisters. He hung his keys on the hook by the door in the kitchen and took a seat at the table. Even though it was good to know that he had  _one_  friend on the island, he knew that Jinbe wouldn’t be around all the time. Besides, neither of them were in a terribly good position to help the other.

                He crossed his arms and rested his head on the table. It wasn’t a bad kitchen, but it wasn’t the Thousand Sunny – it didn’t feel like  _his_  kitchen. Even with its good appliances and fantastic setup . . . he’d never come in here to just find one of his friends. Sometimes he'd find someone sitting at the table working on a project or asking him what was for dinner. It was nice even when someone stopped in just to say hello because it had been so long since anyone had seen him. Sanji gripped the fabric gathered at his elbows. He was never going to stop missing them.

                The rest of the house felt similarly cold. There was a dining room and a living room on the first floor, as well as access to what he thought was a den or a playroom located right by the kitchen. That room led out into the backyard, which was closed in by a wooden fence.  The second floor had three bedrooms and two bathrooms - one of them attached to the master bedroom, the other off by itself. The basement and an attic were empty and free of dust, having been cleaned before they moved in. There was a sizable pantry in the basement for canned and dry goods, and a hatch door in the attic that led up to the roof.

                None of it felt like home, even though Sanji lived there now. Barely anything belonged to him. Pudding had given him some money to buy some clothes (the Germa jerks didn't give him anything) and he'd also gotten himself a good set of kitchen knives but that was it. Nothing else here was his. He felt like an unwelcome guest even if he knew that couldn’t be further from the truth.

                Then there was the whole . . . baby . . . thing. Sanji grimaced at the thought. They’d only been married for a month (and yet the doctor said she was six weeks pregnant? How the hell did that work? Six weeks ago he’d still been off adventuring with his friends, he hadn’t even  _known_  any of this shit was going to happen) and they already had  _that_  to deal with. No time to bond, no time to ease into the marriage,  _ **boom**_ , eight months from now his life was going to be turned upside down  _again_.

                 _I can do this. . . I have to do this . . . for everyone . . . I just don’t want to do this alone . . ._

_. . . then again . . . maybe I’m not alone . . ._

While it was true that Sanji had been forced into this marriage . . . hadn’t Pudding been forced into this, too? Granted, she seemed to be adapting a hell of a lot better than he was, but considering she’d grown up knowing this would be her lot in life that probably had a lot to do with it.  _Like it or not, this woman_ is _my wife and I_ did _knock her up . . . hopefully with just_ one _child . . . I guess we should at least try to get along, right?_

                Besides, the most important thing he had to do now was survive. And surviving would be a lot easier if he was able to make a connection with Pudding. It wouldn’t be ideal, sure, but if he didn’t have to do this  _alone_  that would make things better. Maybe he could open up to her one day. They could talk about his predicament. She might start to feel sympathy for him. She might not be able to help him, but she could be there for him and support him. And maybe, just maybe, this would work. As crazy as it sounded, this marriage  _might work_.

                It wouldn't be an ideal situation, no, but it might be workable. Maybe he'd start to fall in love with her over time. She was pretty cute, and it was good that they had a mutual interest in cooking - that was a start, right? It wasn't exactly a horrible match and Sanji wondered if that was why Big Mom had chosen Pudding as his bride. 

                Of course it didn't change how he'd landed in that situation. He was still a captive. Luffy was still dead. The other Straw Hats hated him. He wasn't even sure what was going to happen to Zeff and the other cooks. But he had to protect them - all of them. And that meant making the best of this situation, which meant making nice with his wife.

                It was what he had to do.

 

                Pudding decided they should have a “private celebration” in their bedroom after dinner. It took Sanji a few minutes to realize she was propositioning him for sex. That had surprised him (considering her condition), but he decided to go along with it. It wasn’t like he could get her double pregnant (the damage had already been done), after all, and he reasoned that it could provide some much needed stress relief. Besides,wasn’t sex supposed to be really good for bonding with your partner? And since his current objective was to try and bond with Pudding . . . well, all right, that probably did stand a legitimate chance of helping.

                “Is it even okay to do this with you pregnant?” Sanji asked. They were already undressed and in bed, Pudding beneath him with her legs spread invitingly. He could only just see her through the darkness, but she definitely didn’t  _look_  like she was pregnant – not yet at least. Her stomach was still flat and her waist was still tiny, but that wouldn’t last for much longer.

                “The doctor said it was fine for now – he’ll let us know if we need to hold off later on. Don’t you remember me asking that, Sanji darling?” She traced a finger down the middle of his chest and all the way down his body until she reached his erection. Sanji shuddered as she ran her hands over Monsier Chef de Partie. He gasped and panted a little as she toyed with the tip, teasing him.

                 _This is probably a good sign – she seems interested in me enjoying this, too,_  Sanji thought to himself.  _Okay . . . that’s a start. Maybe I will be able to bond with her a little tonight._  He decided to return the favor, moving his hands between her legs – Pudding squealed with delight as he played with her and she started to squirm a little beneath him.

                “T, take me . . .” she pleaded with him, releasing him and spreading her legs wider.

                Although part of him wanted to continue teasing her, she’d stopped playing with him and Monsier Chef de Partie wanted some affection as well. Sanji repositioned himself as Pudding wrapped her arms around him, kissing him and guiding him inside of her. Sanji moaned into her mouth, starting to thrust in and out of her.

                This time was a lot better for him, definitely. Though he was still nervous about impending fatherhood, it was kind of nice being able to just relax and enjoy the sexual benefits of being a married man. He liked not having to worry about controlling his orgasm or trying to pull out – it didn’t matter if he came inside of her again. Now he could just enjoy this for what it was at face value – he was having sex with a very pretty woman and, physically, at least, it felt really,  _really_  good.

                Pudding surprised him and flipped him onto his back. Sanji moaned. They’d only used the missionary position on their wedding night, so this was new. She ground her hips against his, and he grabbed onto the pillow beneath his head, enjoying the added pressure from the mattress against his back.  _This feels good . . . amazing, actually . . . I think this is going to work . . ._

Sanji let her ride him for another minute before he decided to take control again and flipped her back onto her back. She squealed with delight, clinging to him as she gasped and moaned for more. Pudding started to kiss his neck as he planted his hands on either side of her waist, preparing to wrap things up. She was getting close, he was getting close, if he could pull off a big finish that would  _only_  help his cause.

                Pudding came pretty loudly, clinging to him as she coaxed him over the edge, too. Sanji let himself get lost in his release, enjoying the pleasant sensations rippling through the rest of his body. He collapsed on top of her, spent, and kissed the side of her neck.  _If we do this a few more times I might actually start to like you,_  Sanji thought to himself. He took one of her hands and squeezed it as he rolled off of her, and the two of them just laid there quietly for several minutes, enjoying the afterglow.

                “H, hey . . .” Pudding said.

                “Yeah?” Sanji asked.

                “Think you’re up for another round?”

                Sanji seductively growled as he re-mounted her, and soon enough they’d started again. It still wasn’t love making, even though he was trying to  _make_  himself  _fall in love_ , which struck Sanji as odd. It wasn’t all that long ago that this happened all-too-easily for him, and here was this gorgeous woman with a great body practically clamoring for him to have her every which way . . . and the most he could muster was “it might be nice to get to know her better”.

                Still, the sex was fun. The second time he came, he felt some of the tenseness he’d been carrying relax a little bit. When they separated, they re-tangled themselves together, and Sanji breathed a sigh of relief.  _I still can’t say I love her . . . but this might be the best night I’ve had since this whole mess started. If things stay like this . . . I can do this._

                While they were recovering from Round 2, Sanji glanced over to Pudding. She was looking at him in adoration as she clung lovingly to his arm. “Hey, um, is it okay if I just step outside for a minute?” His wife stared at him as he removed himself from their bed, doing his best to not disturb her position and started searching for his boxers. Finding his prize on the floor, he picked them up and looked them over. He’d just be outside for a minute to grab a quick smoke, then he’d be back. Maybe he’d see if Pudding was up for Round 3 - sleep was sleep, but they’d just had honest-to-God  _decent sex._

                “What for?” 

                As he pulled on his boxers and procured a t-shirt from his dresser, he turned back to her apologetically. “Sorry, I just need a quick smoke and then I’ll be back – promise.” He pulled the shirt over his head – he didn’t need anything special to go out on the balcony for the cigarette. “You can join me if you want – maybe we could talk?”

                Pudding frowned at him. “Why do you have to smoke?”

                Sanji shrugged. “Um, because I’ve been a smoker for . . . over ten years now?” He grabbed his cigarettes from his nightstand and started looking for his lighter. “Right now it’s keeping me grounded, you know?”

                “What do you mean?”

                Sanji sighed. “Pudding . . . you and I both know the situation we’re in,” he said as he found his lighter. He took a seat on the bed to start packing his cigarettes. “I want to make this marriage work . . . for both our sake,” he said. “I mean . . . dear  _God_  what we just did was amazing . . . but I have a lot to get used to and my cigarettes have been helping me keep a level head.”

                “. . . I don’t like it.”

                Sanji sighed. He wasn’t sure he was ready to have a fight with Pudding, but he needed his cigarettes to stay calm.  _That’s fine – I just got her off twice and even though the honeymoon is over, we’re still in that “honeymoon” period, right?_  Sanji cleared his throat. “Pudding, I don’t mind going outside to have a smoke or even waiting a couple of minutes to let the smoke smell but I-“

                It all happened so fast that Sanji didn’t have time to react.

                 _Beep. Beep. Beep._

                Pudding had pulled him back onto the bed . . . by his left wristlet. Her fingers were still wrapped around the metal, holding it so that it was still beeping. As he lay there on their bed, he looked up at his wife in horror, eyes wide as he tried to deny what was happening.  _She . . . she isn’t . . . she wouldn’t . . . she can’t . . ._  “Pudding . . . Pudding what are you doing?” He kept his voice as low and as even as possible, afraid of what was going to happen next. “Pudding, you can’t mess with my wristlets, they’ll-“

                “-I know exactly what they do, Sanji darling.” Pudding released his hand and the beeping slowed to a stop. Sanji bolted up and away from him wife, clutched his hand to his chest. She got behind him, wrapping her arms around him to whisper in his ear. “Mama told me you’re a big strong pirate – 177 million berries strong. You didn’t think she’d just leave me alone with someone like that, do you?”

                “What the hell are you talking about?” Sanji asked.

                Pudding gently tugged at his right wristlet. It wasn't enough to make it beep, but enough to make it clear that the honeymoon was over. “It’s simple – we both know you’re not loyal to Mama. Why else would she even keep you in these things at all?” She looked at him darkly. “So how can I trust you’re loyal to me?” She closed her eyes and grinned, looping her pinky around the wristlets. “This is how I know I can trust you.”

                 _. . . holy fuck . . ._

                “Now then, let’s throw those nasty cigarettes out, and then we can cuddle. Okay?” The smile she gave him and the subsequent giggle made Sanji’s skin crawl. As Pudding drew her finger down the side of his face, he realized the monster he should be most worried about wasn't his mother-in-law, but the one currently sharing his bed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes
> 
> This. This is the part where people start to get really angry with me. Yes, yes something is wrong with me. Yes I am a horrible monster.
> 
> On Pudding being six weeks pregnant: This is actually correct! While conception definitely took place about four weeks earlier (depending on how long it took for fertilization and implantation to occur), pregnancy is usually calculated based on the first day of the expecting mother's last period. That said, I do believe some doctors use conception date (or estimated conception date) to calculate pregnancy but I think the date of the last menstrual cycle is supposed to be more accurate.
> 
> So yeah, Franky and Robin are going to have a baby about a month or two before Sanji and Pudding's baby is born based on the timeline I'm establishing here, and now everyone on AO3 understands where the Franky x Robin tag came from. I am very excited for you guys to see the full name I came up with for that child, partly because I HAD THE WORST TIME TRYING TO NAME THAT KID LIKE SERIOUSLY BUT I AM SO HAPPY WITH THEIR FINAL NAME!
> 
> Please note: updates will not remain weekly. I do want to shift to a bi-weekly schedule, but some of the early chapters establish some status quo stuff that I wanted to get out sooner rather than later. Chapter Three or Chapter Four will PROBABLY be the first bi-weekly posting.
> 
> Please be sure to comment, reply, review, etc. to let me know what you think so far!
> 
> Dixxy


	3. Do Not Feel Like You Are Doing This Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The remnants of the Straw Hat Pirates try to start over, but face a number of obstacles on their way to Paradise. Sides are chosen over whether or not they believe Sanji betrayed them, though one person's position on the matter surprises everyone.

Knotted  
By Dixxy Mouri  
Chapter Two: Do Not Feel Like You Are Doing This Alone

_I can still make it! I can still make it!_

Nami was running as fast as she could down the main corridor of Big Mom’s chateaux, panting as she raced down the impossibly long hallway. There were twists and turns and paintings with faces that were all laughing at her, taunting and teasing her as she ran full tilt to her goal. All she had to do was run just a little bit faster and this time, this time she’d be able to save him.

                “Sanji-kun! _SANJI-KUN!_ ” she screamed. She drew her weapon, ready to start causing chaos as she heard the sounds of church bells down the hall, and a voice declaring that the “dearly beloved” were gathered on that day to celebrate the union of Vinsmoke Sanji and Charlotte Pudding. Even though the wedding was far away, it was echoing and reverberating off the walls, echoing over and over and over again.

                “Hold on! I’m coming to help! Please don’t do this! Don’t do this!” 

                Nami could see a huge pair of double doors at the end of the hall – they were wide open, and she could see Sanji and Pudding standing at an altar with a priest. Nami’s eyes widened – she still had time! The ceremony wasn’t over yet! If she could just interrupt the wedding she could save Sanji! “SANJI-KUN! _SANJI-KUN!_ ” She screamed so loud that she could feel her throat tearing. “ _SANJI-KUN! SANJI-KUN!!!”_

                She blasted through the double doors, but suddenly she couldn’t move. She couldn’t run anymore. All she could do was watch as the ceremony continued, each phase causing Sanji to become more and more distorted. The rings. The vows. The “I do”. All the while Nami continued to scream, begging Sanji to come back to the crew.

                To come back to _her_.

                “I now pronounce you husband and wife – you may kiss the bride.”

                “SANJI-KUN!” Nami screamed.

                Before he turned to kiss his wife, Sanji turned to Nami. His eyes had become mirrors, and tears of blood were running down his face. “Why, Nami-san?” he asked. His body was staring to flicker, as if he was a mere projection on a screen. “Why didn’t you listen to me back on Zou? If you hadn’t tried to save me then, you wouldn’t have failed to save me now. **_Luffy wouldn’t be dead, either._** ”

                It was when that Nami spotted Luffy’s corpse, broken and bloody, lying in a heap at the foot of a giant wedding cake. She gasped, her captain’s lifeless eyes staring at her, empty of the joy and sense of adventure he always had. Nami shrieked at the sight and began to sob as the attendees all began to laugh at her failure.

                “This is wrong! This is all wrong!” Nami cried out.

                Sanji gave her that same smile he’d given her as he was taken away from Zou. He had Pudding in his arms, ready to dip her romantically. He started to laugh as his wife reached up to touch his face, her arms curling around his neck like thorny vines, cutting and tearing into his flesh, the red blood dripping down her arms and dying her dress red.

                “ _This is all . . . your . . . fault . . ._ ”

                Nami let out one last scream as her throat burst. “ ** _SANJI-KUN!!!_** ”

 

                “ _SANJI-KUN!_ ”

                “Nami! Nami, please calm down!”

                Nami opened her eyes to see Carrot hovering over her . . . or more precisely, Carrot straddling her in her bed as she was shaken awake. The Mink girl had a very worried look on her face and laid down next to her, nuzzling her to try and comfort her from her night terror. Nami was breathing heavily, her body wracked with sobs as she realized she’d had another nightmare about what had happened on Whole Cake Island.

                Nami had had them almost every night since they’d left that place a little over a month earlier.

_It’s my fault . . . it’s my fault . . ._

“Nami . . . please don’t cry . .  I miss them, too . . .” Carrot said, sniffling.

                Nami closed her eyes. Although joining the crew hadn’t been on their agenda, circumstances had made both Pedro and Carrot at least _temporary_ members of the crew, seeing as a return to Zou wasn’t currently possible, especially not with how relentless the Beast Pirates had been in their pursuit of the Straw Hats. So, with Robin and Franky currently sharing the library as their new sleeping quarters until they decided how to handle the shipwright and archaeologist’s apparent romance and forthcoming family, Carrot had become Nami’s new cabin mate, with Pedro taking one of the free bunks in the men’s quarters.

                Neither of them filled the Sanji and Luffy shaped voids in the hearts of the crew as a whole.

                At least, those who wanted _both_ of those voids filled. The crew was split down the middle in regards to the question of Sanji’s innocence. Nami, of course, believed he was innocent – the tears she saw were evidence enough of that, but she refused to believe that Sanji would just abandon them, not after everything he’d done for the crew, up to and including throwing her, Brook, and Chopper to safety back on Zou.

                Usopp had been quick to jump to Sanji’s defense. “ _Nami is right – there’s no way Sanji would just betray us like that and there’s no way he’d willingly leave the crew!_ _Even if he talks like he doesn’t care sometimes that’s not who he is at all! Damn it, we can’t just leave him there! We need to find a way to get him out of that marriage and back home!_ ”

                “ _But he said all of those awful things!”_ Chopper has retorted, tears streaming down his face as he blubbered. The little reindeer was clearly taking the “Betrayal” hard. “ _If he was really our friend he wouldn't say those horrible things!”_

                “ _I agree with Usopp,_ ” Robin had added. “ _Sanji’s worked too hard to keep this crew together, even to the point of taking off on his own if he thinks it will benefit the rest of us. How was this any different? The Vinsmokes are a frightening group, I won’t deny that, but they aren’t at all like our cook. I believe he was putting up a front so Nami’s group could escape..”_

_“And yet because of him look at the position the rest of us are in!_ ” Franky snapped back. He took Robin’s hands, a pleading look in his eyes. “ _Robin, we have to face the facts – Sanji’s actions have put us all at risk, including_ **our family** _. Without Luffy to back us up, things are going to be really bad for us and the baby, but if he ever knocks up that girl he married? They’ll probably have more nannies than they would know what to do with!_ ”

                _“I know I'm new, and maybe I'm being naïve, but I can't believe he would do such a thing either! He saved my people! That's not the kind of man who would betray his friends!”_ Carrot’s ears drooped in depression, looking around to those who were emotionally abandoning Sanji, wondering if there was a way she could change their mind.

_“But we have no proof of his innocence, either. We have no proof of anything. Perhaps he was brainwashed and is no longer the man we knew,”_ was Pedro's response. “ _Additionally, we never recovered Pekoms, either, and he was stolen from the Thousand Sunny. That doesn't look good for him, either.”_

                Then there was the one neutral party on board . . . _Zoro_.

                Everyone was baffled by Zoro’s refusal to take a side on the matter, even if his captaining decisions seemed to coincide with the thoughts and feelings of those who felt he’d betrayed them. But Nami had quickly realized that it wasn’t out of hatred for the cook, but concern for the rest of them. Even if they had solid _proof_ that Sanji was an unwilling participant and hadn’t been the one to kill Luffy . . . what could they do about it? Zoro knew he wasn’t enough to take on one of the Four Emperors by himself and the rest of them wouldn’t be enough to back him up. If Sanji had sacrificed himself, getting themselves killed would have destroyed him.

                Nami sniffled as Carrot continued to nuzzle her, trying to make her feel better. Minks were extremely affectionate, so the bunny girl’s behavior wasn’t exactly a surprise. It wasn't the comfort she was looking for, but it would do for tonight. Nami allowed slumber to take her, wishing that the softness of Carrot’s fur was replaced with the smell of cigarettes and seafood, and the sounds of overexcited cries for adventure.

 

                It had taken about a month to do it, but the remaining Straw Hat Pirates had managed to make it back to the Red Line. Kaido’s pursuit of them had been relentless for the past month, and it was only thanks to Nami’s navigational skills and the Thousand Sunny’s well-constructed defenses that they’d survived at all.

                Although it wasn’t an ideal plan, everyone agreed that the best course of action, considering Robin’s pregnancy, was to head back to Paradise and make their way to Water 7. They’d chosen the ship building metropolis because of the presence of the Franky Family, Iceburg, and Galley La – the men and women who, effectively, made up the baby’s extended family. They would stay there until the baby was born, with everyone else who wasn’t pregnant focusing on training should they decide to return to the New World.

                There were a lot of unanswered questions with this plan, like what Franky and Robin were going to do after the baby was born. Both of them were against the idea of leaving the baby behind on Water 7, even if they were to leave the baby with someone trustworthy like Iceburg or the Franky Family . . . well, maybe not the Franky Family but there was always Kokoro . . . although she could be fairly irresponsible with her drinking . . .

                Well, the baby would do well with Iceburg as a surrogate father.

                But they hadn’t committed to any plans for the baby as of yet. Did they take the baby with them? That was a dangerous plan, even if it would keep their little family together. Did they stay behind on Water 7, although that didn’t feel like a good idea, either, what with both Franky and Robin having bounties on their heads. Furthermore, how long before they were ready to return to the New World? It was one thing when they have Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji – now it was just Zoro, and even though Usopp had developed Color of Observation haki . . . it wasn’t enough to get them through. Trying to survive in the New World as they were was a disastrous idea.

                And even if Water 7 didn’t work out, they had other places to go. Drum Kingdom was an option, perhaps – if nothing else the presence of Dr. Kureha would be good for the baby. Arabasta, maybe, although they realized Robin might not be welcome there. Even if they were only able to get as far as Saoboady, Rayleigh might be willing to training Zoro the way he’d trained Luffy during the crew’s two-year separation. That would be invaluable.

                Or maybe if they could find a way into the East Blue . . . that might be for the best. They were strong enough that they could handle the Marines in the East Blue no problem (especially with Smoker and Tashigi now stationed in the New World), so maybe they could find refuge in Nami’s village. Those people owed the Straw Hats a debt, and it would not be a bad place to try and figure out what to do next. They could stay there a long time, if they needed to.

                They just had to pass through Fishman Island and try to return to Paradise.

                What they hadn’t expected to find once they reached the Red Line, however, was a blockade made from ships flying the flag of the Big Mom Pirates. There were at least five of them, all sporting the oddly alive faces that had been on the ship Sanji had led the “Swirly Brow Pirates” away from before they made landfall on Zou. They were massive, and it didn’t look like they were going to let anyone through without a fight.

                “What . . . the fuck . . . is this?” Zoro said through gritted teeth.

                “. . . Fishman Island is Big Mom’s territory. How could we have forgotten that,” Usopp said sullenly. His words sounded heavy, and depression and defeat were written all over his face as he turned to the others. “Even without this blockade . . . we can’t pass through Fishman Island right now. Maybe Big Mom’s done with us now that she has Sanji and Luffy is dead, or maybe she isn’t. That’s not a risk we can take, is it?”

                “Are you serious!?” asked Franky. “But that’s the only way to Paradise!”

                “Don’t you remember? Even before the mess with Sanji happened, Luffy picked a fight with Big Mom back when we were on Fishman Island! And for whatever reason she has the whole island blocked off right now! Trying to get back there would be a suicide mission!” said Usopp. He looked at the ships, trying to determine if their crews were readying their canons or not. His Color of Observation showed him that, for the moment, they were being ignored, but his other instincts told him that might not hold forever.

                At least, the Big Mom Pirates were ignoring them.

                “Beast Pirates off the starboard bow!” Usopp shouted.

                The crew turned to the direction Usopp had shouted, Zoro confirming the sighting with his own Color of Observation. “Shit, again!?” he swore. “That’s the third time in two weeks!” The swordsman turned to the rest of the crew. “You heard us – Beast Pirates are in pursuit. We need to get out of here yesterday!”

                The remnants of the Straw Hat Pirates scrambled to their positions, getting ready to outrun the Beast Pirates.

Again.

 

                “Come on, Zoro . . . just tell me which one you like the best.”

                Zoro looked over the designs Usopp had given him. He rifled through the stack of sketches before throwing them all down on the galley table and looking away from the marksman and Nami, the only other person involved in this discussion. “I don’t want any of them,” he said. “I just . . . why can’t we use the one we already have?”

                Nami sighed and put her hand on Zoro’s arm. “Because we need to make a strong showing right now – anything that might be seen as a weakness is only going to make things worse. You’re the captain now, and our Jolly Roger needs to reflect _you_ , not . . .” She bit her bottom lip and sighed. “Zoro . . . I miss them, too. But we can’t use the Straw Hat Jolly Roger.”

                Zoro closed his one good eye and sighed. Earlier that week the crew had made the difficult decision to retire the Straw Hat Jolly Roger and the name of their crew. It was not an easy choice, but it somehow felt more respectful to their deceased captain this way. How could they be the Straw Hat Pirates without Luffy? They would simply take down the sails and pack them up (no one had the heart to destroy or burn the old colors) and replace them with a new symbol.

                But what would the new jolly roger even look like? Zoro had opted to call them the Three Swords Pirates. It wasn’t the most creative name in the world, but it fit their new captain well enough and would be fine for what they had to do now, which was continue to survive in the New World. All that was left now was to choose a design for the new flag.

                Frustrated, Zoro half-heartedly picked a design. It was one of the better symbols, as Usopp had worked in all three of Zoro’s swords into its design. His bandana was tied atop the skull’s head, and one of its eyes was slashed closed. It even had the swordsman’s earrings where the left ear would have been. Usopp nodded. “Okay. I'll get to work on the new sails in the morning.”

                Nami rubbed Zoro’s shoulder. “Are you all right?”

                “No.”

                “Zoro, you're allowed to be upset, too, you know,” said Usopp. He reached over to put a hand over Zoro’s. “Please.”

                “. . . I'm the captain. It's my job to lead everyone with confidence. So why am I second guessing everything?”

                “Because we are in a very scary place right now and you are trying to make sure you're making the right calls,” said Nami. “But we’re here, too. I'm going to continue keeping everyone safe from the sea. Franky is going to keep the ship in good repair and Chopper will keep everyone healthy. And we are all going to work together. Do not feel like you are doing this alone.”

                “Zoro, do you remember when we attacked Arlong Park? Luffy said he couldn't do everything, either. But that's why he chose all of us to be his crew.” Usopp forced himself to smile. “Luffy knows you're doing the best you can. And maybe someday we’ll figure out how to rescue Sanji, too.”

                “. . . I don't know what to feel about him.”

                “Zoro . . .”

                “We fought every damn day, but he always had my back. I trusted him. But I can't sleep at night – is he trapped and scared and alone in Yonkou territory while I sit here and do nothing? Or did we miss something that should have told us this might happen? Why didn't he say he was one if those Germa people, anyways?” Zoro closed his eye. “I want to believe in him, but right now? I don't know what to do except . . . keep the crew safe. Because if he did sacrifice himself . . . that’s what he’d want me to do. And if he is our enemy . . . it’s still what I have to do.”

                Nami and Usopp exchanged a worried glance. They were a bit surprised with how conflicted Zoro felt about the whole mess, but then again . . . there was a sort of unspoken, quiet comradery between the five original Straw Hats from when the crew had formed in the East Blue. They had been the ones around for the first bounty. They had been the ones around for the barrel breaking ceremony. They had been the ones who had traveled along Reverse Mountain together.

                Luffy’s death and Sanji’s exit from the crew, willingly or not, had fractured that group.

                The navigator and marksman got up from their seats to quiet hug the swordsman. The three stood in the galley, quietly trying to comfort each other as they all contemplated what was supposed to happen next.

                The Three Sword Pirates were not off to a happy beginning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes
> 
> Originally this was meant to be Chapter Three but I decided to switch it and the original Chapter Two (now Chapter Three). However, that chapter is particularly heavy and while this wasn’t exactly a “happy” chapter either, it does establish that it isn’t just Nami who believes Sanji is innocent. I feel like the justifications on both sides are a bit varied and different for everyone.
> 
> There are no alternate versions of this chapter as there weren’t any explicit sex scenes to cut, so everyone gets the same version this time (and I think that will be the case for a while – Three, Four, and Five definitely won’t as currently written).  
> 
> Lastly . . . while I am happy with the content of Chapter One, I tried an online editor that was supposed to help with my writing and there are some sections that I ultimately don’t like as a result so I am sorely not happy with the prose of that chapter. I will probably go back and fix the chapter at some point, but I don’t think anything major will be added, just fixing some aggravating sentences. Even one of my betas was telling me “yeah, never use this tool again”.
> 
> Please be sure to leave a comment or review to let me know what you think so far!
> 
> Dixxy


	4. Forever . . .

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji is having trouble dealing with his cigarette withdrawal. Luffy isn't able to do much from his prison cell.

Knotted  
By Dixxy Mouri  
Chapter Three: Forever. . .

**_Trigger warning:_ ** _This chapter has an **attempted suicide**. _

                Sanji found himself on the floor next to their bed, shaking and shivering. The room was spinning around him, so he stayed where he was for the moment, even though he _desperately_ needed to get to the bathroom. His stomach was acting up again and he was probably going to start vomiting any minute. Taking a moment to try and right himself, Sanji got up off the floor and raced to the bathroom before leaning over the toilet.

                It was two-thirty am. He’d only gotten to sleep a little after one.

                It was either Day Four or Day Five (considering the time of day made it a little fuzzy) since Pudding had thrown out all of his cigarettes and forbade him from bringing any more into the house on penalty of, well, at least the threat of his hands exploding. That, alone, was enough – the beeping was enough to send him into a panic, and she damn well knew that.

                But that hadn’t made this any easier.

                Sanji had tried to quit smoking once before to impress a girl he’d met on the Baratie. His attempt lasted all of three hours before he decided this girl was not important enough for this level of bullshit and he happily enjoyed a smoke out on the balcony after throwing in the towel. The other cooks had teased him about it and he’d flipped them all off, telling them to get back to work or go fuck themselves.

                This was _way_ the hell worse.

                For one, even though he was already sleeping pretty badly, any semblance of getting a good night’s sleep had been shot since this cold turkey quitting bullshit happened because now, on top of his already pretty bad stress and anxiety, he was going nuts from the lack of nicotine. He _always_ had a smoke before bed, and his body was looking for that nighttime cigarette before letting him get any rest. He didn’t think he was getting more than a few hours each night now, and that was assuming he didn’t get up in the middle of the night to puke.

                Sanji collapsed onto the floor – the tile was cold, and it kind of felt good. It was also probably filthy, so he’d need to take a shower before going back to bed, but for the moment this was what he needed to dull the nausea. Besides, he was too dizzy to get up anyways. He’d gotten so many dizzy that he hadn’t been able to cook – he didn’t even trust himself in the kitchen at the moment, not since Pudding made him quit smoking. Luckily Pudding hadn’t really caught on – she must have assumed he was sick or something (which he supposed was close enough) and kept bringing home takeout for dinner every night . . .

                . . . much of which he threw back up.

 

                Sanji struggled up into a sitting position and flushed the toilet before leaning against the sink. He felt so damn _weak_. And _tired._ His mind was blasting on all cylinders. He wanted cigarettes. He wanted _to go home_ – either one, it didn’t matter. He’d love to return to the Thousand Sunny (if he could somehow convince the others he really hadn’t killed Luffy) or the Baratie at this point. He wanted the wristlets _off_. He wanted this stupid _baby_ situation to just _go to the fuck away_. Hell, he even wanted his virginity back – something he never imagined he’d ever want back after losing it, but he wished he’d had his first time with literally  _anyone_  else at this point.

                Sanji hadn’t made too big of a mess so it was easy enough to clean it up relatively quickly, but he was still in pretty rough shape by the time he decided he needed to take a quick shower to clean up. He stripped and dragged himself into the tub before turning on the water – cold at first (he had to cover his mouth to keep from screaming and waking up his wife) and then nice and warm, exactly what he needed. He leaned against the rear wall of the tub and stretched out, letting the hot water pelt him. He stayed there for a while, nudging the tub stopper into place with his toe and trying to relax or at least get over some of his symptoms. He knew they’d go away eventually, but for now, it was making an already difficult situation worse.

                _Let’s see . . . I’m twenty-one now, and assuming I have a normal lifespan I can look forward to another fifty to sixty years of this bullshit. Great,_ Sanji thought to himself. _And since she took my smokes away I’ll probably live another twenty on top of that._ He closed his eyes and did the math. _I only got about thirteen good years then. Zeff wasn’t the best father figure but he tried . . . Luffy and the others were . . . too good for me, all of them, even the stupid swordsman . . . even Ivankov and the other okamas weren’t so bad . . . but now I’m here._

                _Forever. . ._          

                Sanji swallowed – that was a long time to be trapped in this loveless marriage. . .

                . . . and that was when he spotted Pudding’s razor.

                _There is . . . one way out . . ._

 

                “Ngh . . . ngh!!!”

                Luffy had spent the last month fruitlessly trying to break free from the cell Big Mom had locked him in, but it was no use. With the walls made of sea stone there was nothing he could do except try fruitlessly to punch through the walls, but no luck. He tried everything he could think of to make himself not lose his strength, but none of it worked.

                The only thing he could do was use the haki skills Rayleigh had taught him, but that only got him so far. Color of Armament did nothing to shield him from the effects of the seastone, so that was out. Color of Conquerers didn’t work on the seastone at all (though he did make a few guards outside of the cell pass out for a few hours one time – all that did was delay his dinner). The only one that seemed to be of any use was Color of Observation, which gave him an effective bird’s eye view of the people on the island. It was what kept him from getting completely bored and going crazy while locked in this cell. That and doing some training exercises to keep himself in fighting shape.

                After all, once he found a way out of the cell, he was going to need to kick a lot of ass.

                For one, he knew Sanji was still on the island, and it didn’t seem like he’d left the island at all. For the first month or so he’d been really nervous about something, but Luffy couldn’t tell what. Then one night Sanji seemed like he was in a really good mood for maybe a half hour or so, and then . . . fear. And that fear hadn’t left his cook (FUCK Big Mom and her stupid alliance, Sanji was HIS COOK, DAMN IT) for the past several days. So whatever was going on with Sanji, it was bad, and he needed to get him out of there.

                For another, Jinbe was definitely around, too – not all the time, but Luffy had _definitely_ felt his presence a few days ago. He seemed sad, and Luffy briefly wondered if Big Mom was going to make him get married to someone against his will, too. He’d sighed in frustration, but shook it off – that just meant there were _two_ people he needed to rescue, that was all.

                Of course he had to figure out how to rescue himself, first.

                Giving up on the door for now (he hadn’t even scratched it yet), Luffy took a seat in the middle of the floor – he wanted to check on Sanji again to see if things had gotten better for him. He did have that little happy moment a few days ago – maybe he and Pudding were getting along? _I guess I can rescue a third person, too . . ._ Luffy closed his eyes and tried to focus on his cook.

                Not Big Mom’s cook. _HIS. COOK._

                As soon as he found Sanji’s presence, he could tell something was _wrong_. Not like the past few days, wrong, but like . . . it was a feeling Luffy had never sensed before, but it reminded him of when Robin had been begging them all to leave her to die at Enies Lobby. It was a mix of fear and sadness and resignation, like he felt trapped and defeated . . . mostly defeated . . .

                But what did it mean?

                Luffy focused harder. _Come on, Sanji . . . what are you doing? What’s going on?_ It was just enough of a push for Luffy to clearly see his cook’s motivations, and more than enough to snap him out of his state of concentration. He looked around the cell in a panic and started to scream at the top of his lungs. “SANJI! _SANJI!_ **_SANJI!!!!!_** ”

                Sanji had the intent to kill . . . _himself_.

 

                Sanji’s hands were shaking as he picked up Pudding’s razor, turning it over in his hand and observing the blades. She kept it in the shower to shave her legs (a weekly routine for her), but now it was calling out to him, promising him an escape from it all – this horrible marriage, the wristlets, this sugar coated hell hole . . . it would all be over.

                He closed his eyes. _They wouldn’t be able to hurt me anymore . . ._

Sanji sat up. He was already sitting in a tub full of water, so that would make it go faster, right? He turned off the water, deciding that the tub was filled enough for what he had to do next. The water slowed to a drip before stopping, leaving him in silence to contemplate his fate. He swallowed, putting the razor down on the edge of the tub for the moment so he could take a few minutes to think.

                For one . . . was it at all possible to get out of there? From where he sat . . . no, there wasn’t. Even though he wasn’t sure how legally binding a marriage between a Yonkou’s daughter and a wanted pirate, prince or no prince, really _was_ , it was binding in the eyes of people in much, much higher positions than he was in right now. The wristlets would render him completely useless if he tried to leave the island. And worst of all, if he tried to defy anyone, Zeff would be killed.

                For another . . . he didn’t see things getting any better. Pudding clearly didn’t want to play nice with him and he didn’t think there was much he could do to convince her otherwise. Anywhere he tried to go for help would be meaningless – the bastards from Germa Kingdom would probably just laugh that he was receiving even more abuse, and Big Mom would never take his word over Pudding’s (and even if she believed him he doubted she would _care_ ).Anyone else he tried to go through, even Jinbe, would still lead back to Big Mom or Germa, and that wouldn’t do him any good at all.

                He lowered his head, his whole body trembling. _Is this . . . is this really how it all ends? Naked and alone in a bathtub full of blood and water?_ Sanji swallowed. Pudding would probably wake up the following morning with her morning sickness and find his body in the tub. She’d probably scream and freak out before running away. Eventually, someone would come and clean up the mess, and who the hell knew what would happen to his body then? He might be dumped into the ocean . . .

                 . . . and maybe the waves would carry him to All Blue.

                It wasn’t how he wanted to get there but . . . it was the only chance he had of ever reaching it now. It was a long shot, and no one would ever be able to find it again after that, he guessed – hell, Nami-san might avoid putting it on her map out of spite for him at this point. But if by some small chance that could be his final resting place . . . that wouldn’t be so bad.

                Shakily, Sanji reached for the razor and turned his left arm over to look at his wrist. The skin was smooth and unbroken, with only the lines from the muscles and veins beneath the skin giving it any texture. He was ambidextrous so it didn’t matter which arm he started with, but this arm . . . this arm had the wedding ring on it. This was the arm trapping him in his marriage.

                _Okay . . . okay . . . it’s almost over . . ._

Sanji bit his bottom lip. He could feel tears sliding down the sides of his face. He didn't want to die. He didn't want to do this. But there wasn't any other way out. His right hand was trembling as he turned the razor on its side and closed his eyes.

                _SANJI!_

                Sanji’s eyes snapped open as he dropped the razor. “What was . . . that?” He got to his feet and opened the shower curtain, looking around for the source of whatever it was he’d . . . heard? Felt? It almost felt like Color of Observation but he hadn’t been using it . . . right? He swallowed. Whatever it was, though, it almost felt like . . .

                “. . . Luffy?” 

                It was so strange . . . almost as if he could feel Luffy’s presence in the bathroom with him. _But . . . he’s not here anymore . . . so . . . what the hell was that?_ Sanji bit his lip and shook his head – it was probably just his imagination playing games with him again, most likely another symptom of his withdrawal. He sighed and looked back down at the water – Pudding’s razor was next to his right foot, waiting for him to pick it back up and try again.

                As he bent down to grab it, thoughts of his old captain flooded his head. _Maybe I’ll get to see you again, too, Luffy. I wonder if we can go on adventures together in the afterlife, if there is such a place? Or if the two of us will just be resting together, reminiscing about what could have, should have been._ As he fingertips touched the water, however, more memories started to surface.

                He remembered the day the Baratie had been attacked by Don Krieg, a man that felt like a pathetic, watered-down version of his father. Sanji had been ready to die back then if it meant saving Zeff and his beloved sea restaurant. At some point during the fight, Luffy had grabbed him by the lapels of his suit jacket and started yelling at him, telling him that Zeff hadn’t saved his life so he could, but so that he could . . .

                _. . . live_.

                Sanji sat on the edge of the tub. _Luffy and Zeff wouldn’t want me to do this, would they?_ He closed his eyes and laughed a little bitterly. _I know the other Straw Hats wouldn’t care at this point but . . . Luffy would never forgive me if I did this. And Zeff . . . he’d be so disappointed in me._ He felt himself starting to cry even harder, and he wiped his tears with the back of his hand.

_Oh God . . .what am I doing?_

_“Sanji . . . it’s okay. I can handle this. Just be strong for me, okay?”_

Sanji covered his mouth with his hand. _That’s right . . . I promised Luffy . . ._

_But Luffy didn’t know any of_ this _would happen!_

_But that doesn’t matter! Luffy didn’t get himself killed so I could just give up!_

The cook leaned his head forward to sob. He didn’t _want_ to die. He really didn’t. But he didn’t know what he was supposed to do with himself in this situation, either. There wasn’t a way out, and aside from Jinbe maybe hanging around once in a while he didn’t have anything going for him at all. He was under the thumb of his mother-in-law, the Vinsmokes, and his own damn _wife_. Even the other Straw Hats . . .

                Sanji’s eyes widened in realization. _The other Straw Hats. If I died . . . would that invalidate the alliance? If that happened . . . would Big Mom try to take it out on Nami-san and the others? Or Zeff? Oh God, what did I almost DO?_ Sanji started to tremble as he stared at the razor at the bottom of the tub. It was very possible he hadn’t just come close to killing himself, but most of the people he cared about, too.

Taking a deep breath, Sanji retrieved the razor so he could put it back where he’d found it. _I have to stay alive for all of them. If the existence of this alliance is the only thing keeping my friends and the old man safe . . . then so be it. I can’t do anything else, so if I need to use my body as a shield to save everyone else . . . I’ll do it. It’s the only thing I_ can _do._

                Sanji flicked the tub stopper with his toe to drain the water from the tub. Although he still wanted the warm steam from the bathroom, he decided that maybe sneaking downstairs for a cup of tea was a better idea – he couldn’t be in there right now, not with what he’d almost done. Maybe some chamomile would calm him down so he could at least _try_ to get some sleep.

                Sanji dried himself off, deposited his sweaty pajamas into the laundry hamper, and retreated back into the bedroom to get a clean t-shirt and pajama bottoms. His head felt a lot clearer now, and he found himself looking forward to the tea. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to keep him going, at least for now.

                _My situation   hasn’t changed . . . I still need to survive . . ._

_. . . I can’t die yet._

 

                “SANJI! _SANJI!!!_ ”

                Luffy hadn’t stopped screaming, tears streaming down his face. He smashed his fists into the seastone door, begging to be let out to save his cook. None of the guards came, and even if they did, Luffy knew it wouldn’t do him any good. All he could do was scream until his throat was raw. Sanji was going to _die_ and there wasn’t anything he could do!?

                “SANJI! _SANJI!!!”_

                The rubber man activated his Color of Observation skills again, trying to see how much time had had left. Much to his relief, he discovered that Sanji seemed to have calmed down and was focused on preparing something in a kitchen. Luffy fell to his knees, breathing heavily – it looked like Sanji was backing down, at least for now. He sat down in the middle of the floor, his eyes and fists clenched shut. What was Big Mom _doing_ to his cook to make him try something stupid like that!?

                _When I get out of here . . . I’m going to KICK BIG MOM’S ASS!_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes
> 
> The weight of this chapter felt too heavy to include anything from Zoro’s group this chapter (which is why it was just his group last chapter), as I decided to focus solely on Sanji’s suicide attempt and Luffy’s intervention. It makes this a shorter chapter, yes, but this whole scenario needed room to breathe. Yeah I MIGHT be stretching Color of Observation a bit here but it's more or less how it was used in Skypiea so there's that.
> 
> And with that we will be going to bi-weekly chapters, so there won’t be another chapter for two weeks.
> 
> Please be sure to leave a comment or review to let me know what you think of the story so far. I realize this was a heavy chapter but I really do appreciate it whenever you guys leave me your thoughts.
> 
> Dixxy


	5. Four Months. Tick Tock, Sanji

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By the time Pudding is five months pregnant, Sanji is still resentful of the pregnancy. Meanwhile, Nami contemplates how difficult it's been to get supplies for Robin and Franky's baby.

Knotted  
By Dixxy Mouri  
Chapter Four: Four Months. Tick Tock, Sanji

                “Oh Sanji darling, come see the baby!”

                Sanji nervously stepped into the nursery they’d set up for the baby. His footing felt unsteady, the floorboards creaking underfoot as he approached his wife and the bundle she was holding in her arms. As he walked by several dozen rocking chairs and bassinets, all of them swaying with an unnatural jerking motion, he could hear the horrible screeching noises the child was making getting louder and louder. His body trembled. His palms were sweaty. _No . . . no . . . no . . . no . . ._

                “Baby, time to meet your papa!” Pudding chimed happily, holding up the infant for her husband.

                Sanji stopped in front of Pudding and recoiled at the sight of the baby. Its body was the size of a normal baby, but its _head_ was at least twice the normal size and looked just like Big Mom. “Goo goo _gaa gaa_ ,” she said, cackling from his wife’s arms as she drooled all over the place and stared at him with crazed eyes. Sanji stepped back in fear, shaking his head no. He didn’t _want_ to be a father, least of all to _this . . . THING_.

                _That’s . . . that’s the baby? That can’t be the baby! Oh no, no, no!!!_

                “CHANGE ME!”

                “FEED ME!”

                “WAAAH! WAHHHH! WAHH!”

                “DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!”

                Sanji turned around to see that the bassinets were suddenly overflowing with more grotesque Big Mom babies, all of them hobbling towards him on their hands and knees like a shambling hoard of infantile zombies. Sanji panicked, shaking his head and waving his arms in front of him, only to discover they were weighed down with heavy chains. “No, no, stop, get away from me!”

                “GIVE US THE COOKIES!!!”

                “ ** _COOKIES!!!_** ”

                Sanji stepped back and nearly lost his footing. Behind him was a swirling storm of pastels and just slightly off music box chimes playing lullabies out of sync with each other. He struggled to regain his balance, looking before him to see Pudding approaching him, now holding three babies, only these ones looked like his brothers, all of them laughing and pointing at him. He looked at them in horror as he struggled to get away.

                “There’s only one of him and three of us!” said Niji.

                “Yeah, let’s get him!” said Yonji.

                Niji snorted in agreement. “Ha, ha, maybe Mom will let us put the iron mask on him!”

                “Ooo, good idea!”

                Sanji felt completely helpless as even more babies in all shapes and sizes began to crawl out of the bassinets and the cribs and even out from under Pudding’s skirt. “No, no, NO!” he cried out. “Let me go home! _Let me go home! I want to see the other Straw Hats! Luffy! LUFFY, HELP ME! LUFFY! CAPTAIN! **CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN!!!**_ ”

                “But he’s not your captain anymore,” said Ichiji. “We sold you off to Big Mom, remember?”

                “Besides, _you’re_ the one who knocked her up!” Niji accused.

                “Ha, sucks to be you!” Yonji chided.

                Sanji shook his head vigorously. “No, no, just let me go home, LET ME GO HOME!!!”

                “But Sanji _darling_ ,” Pudding said, having closed the gap between them. The babies that looked like infantile versions of his brothers were no longer in her arms, instead clinging to her back and the skirt of her dress so she could roughly grasp both of his wristlets, causing them to start beeping wildly and glow red. He watched his brothers all laugh at him as Pudding’s eyes all flashed in time with his wristlets. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten that _you are home, and you belong to **ME**.”_

Pudding pushed him forward and let go of the wristlets, sending Sanji off the abyss. He started to fall, screaming in terror as the Big Mom baby army leapt after him, speeding through the air past moldy teddy bears, broken rattles, and baby bottles filled with blood, his ears ringing with the sounds of wailing babies and the horrible beeps of his wristlets, which were flashing faster and faster as a long, screeching tone told him detonation was imminent. “ _No, no, stop! Please, I just want to go home! I don’t . . . I don’t . . . I’m not ready . . . I’m not ready . . . I can’t . . . I can’t . . .”_

_“I’M NOT READY TO BE A FATHER!!! **LET ME GO!!!!** ”_

 

The fall stopped and Sanji found himself sitting up in bed, gasping for breath and drenched in sweat. He looked at the clock on his nightstand – it was about three in the morning. He looked to the other side of the bed – Pudding was fast asleep, one arm reaching for him as she slept on her side, her stomach now visibly pregnant.

                _Five months down. Four to go._

                Sanji had been numb to almost everything since the night he’d thought about ending his life. He rarely questioned anything Pudding asked of him and the few times he dared he was met with the same threat she'd given him the night she'd made him quit smoking. Sometimes she just eyed his wrists, sometimes she “lovingly” stroked his hands, and a few times she got her hands on his restraints and forced him into submission.

                Agreeing with her was easier, he'd learned. Sure, they could go out to dinner. Sure, he could make whatever she wanted to have for dinner, which was an added challenge thanks to her crazy pregnancy cravings. Sure, he could help her out at the chocolate shop (which required Big Mom’s blessing – although her children were allowed to have jobs outside of the crew, everyone else was forbidden from outside work), and sure it was okay that she “paid” him in kisses. Sure, they could go visit her mother, even if the woman spent the whole time staring at him, still gloating about her victory over him. Sure, they could have afternoon tea with her sister. Sure, they could “make love”. Sure. Sure. Sure. He was barely aware of any of it.

                The only thing Sanji was _slightly_ enthused for was the sex, although it wasn’t because he was the least bit attracted to his wife anymore, not with what she put him through. Still, the invitation meant he was feeling _something_ , even if it was just the momentary release of tension when he came. Sometimes he found he could get into the “mood” to enjoy it, but other times he just laid there, letting his mind wander while she fucked him until he finished and he got to enjoy those few seconds of bliss before reality came crashing back down around him. It never felt right, and he always felt cold and alone, even with the heat radiating from their bodies in the afterglow.

                Jinbe checked on him when he could, but he didn’t want to tell the fishman what was happening with Pudding using his wristlets as an active threat. It was humiliating and something he didn’t think he needed to know. He told him everything was going all right, and then Jinbe would ask about Pudding and the baby, and Sanji would say it was fine.

In truth, he didn’t know for sure. He assumed nothing was wrong, since Pudding would drag him to her doctor appointments and the doctor would show them pieces of fruit to explain how big the baby was and it never sounded like they got any “bad news”, but it was all just . . . meaningless words to him. The only thing that had registered with him was that there was just _one_ baby, which was a relief. A small relief, seeing as that _one_ baby was still going to make everything that much worse, but it was better than _quadruplets._

                So, Sanji just continuously told the fishman everything was “fine”, but he was pretty sure they both knew it was bullshit. Jinbe must have suspected something was up when he stopped smoking (which, thankfully, he finally seemed to be over his withdrawal symptoms), but he hadn’t pressed the issue yet. He'd commented on it, sure, but Sanji just said he'd quit.

Technically, it wasn't a lie. He'd just quit smoking the same way he'd quit the Straw Hats – against his will. Hell he was even becoming a father before he was ready – a condom for his wedding night shouldn't have been too much to ask for so that he could have a say in planning his own family, but even that decision had been taken away from him. Hell, he wondered if Pudding would want to try and get pregnant again right away after this baby was born.

                Speaking of the baby, Sanji found himself staring at her stomach. He'd been watching almost every night as it slowly swelled and grew, like a bomb going off in slow motion. How many times did his life need to end, damn it? Kidnapped from Zou? Life over. Luffy dead? _Two_ lives over, one literally. Married to Pudding? Life _super over_. Pudding _pregnant_? He didn’t even know what that meant yet. Babies screamed, babies pooped and peed everywhere, they threw tantrums and didn’t let their parents get any sleep . . . why in the hell did Pudding _want_ that?

                Whatever. He didn’t have a say in the matter anyways.

                One of Pudding’s sisters had stopped by about a week ago and let him know they were going to have a baby shower for her and she wanted to know if it was okay if they could set up in their living room. Sanji shrugged and said it was fine – Pudding would probably like that, after all. The sister, knowing he was a cook, asked if he would mind helping with the menu, and he shrugged and said that was fine, too, asking if she had any special requests.

                The stupid baby shower was today. Sanji had been dreading it, because now they were going to have even more tangible reminders in the house that the baby was coming and his life was about to get thrown into even more chaos. Sleepless nights. Diaper changes. Food being thrown by a fussy child that didn’t want to eat. Ruined shirts from baby vomit or whatever. Screaming and tantrums and all hope he might have had for anything, anything at all, would soon be gone.

                Sanji slipped out of bed to head into the master bathroom. He splashed his face with cold water, struggling to regain some level of composure. He’d been shaken by his nightmare, having had variants of the same basic idea for the past few months now. Sometimes it was just one GIANT baby. Another time the baby horde had vampire fangs and bat wings and chased after him. One time they all looked like the Straw Hats, only instead of begging to be fed or changed they were screaming “TRAITOR!” at him.

                _This isn’t_ FAIR! _I shouldn’t even be in this place!_ Sanji stared bitterly at his reflection. There were heavy bags under his eyes and his skin was pale from the lack of sleep. In a lot of ways, he wasn’t even sure he recognized himself. He felt so much older than he was – damn it, he’d only just turned twenty-two last month and yet he felt like an old man at the end of his life.

                Realizing that staring grumpily at the mirror wasn’t going to do him any good and maybe some sleep would help, Sanji shuffled back to bed and crawled under the covers. He wanted to turn his back to Pudding, but he couldn’t help but glare bitterly at her stomach again. He scowled. _My life is already complicated enough. I don’t **need** this! This isn’t fucking FAIR! _ Sanji flipped onto his back, put his hands behind his head, and stared angrily up at the ceiling.

_Four months. Tick tock, Sanji._

               

                The baby shower arrived, and the house was flooded with about twenty or so of Pudding’s sisters and sister-in-laws. Sanji couldn’t say he remembered any of them, though he could figure out which women were children (or in one case, a granddaughter) of Big Mom and which had married into the family based on their names. Tiramisu? Blood family member. Lina? Married in. Galette? Blood family member. Miaka? Married in. Brûlée? Blood family member and Certified Boner Killer. The only one he slipped up on was “Carrie”, which was a nickname for “Caramel”.

                “Pudding, dear, your husband is an _excellent_ cook!” one of the sisters proclaimed after digging into one of the dishes he’d made for the occasion. There was a chorus of agreement amongst the women, and while part of him wanted to smile at the compliment, it didn’t take long for him to realize all eyes were on _Pudding,_ especially once she started thanking them all and condescendingly scratched under his chin. Sanji held back a frown. _I’m not even getting credit for my cooking anymore?!_

                Pudding had Sanji sit next to her on the couch while she excitedly opened present after present. Baby onesies, mostly, with the occasional baby toys. One right after the other. She showed them all to him, and he half-heartedly agreed they were “cute” or “looked like fun”. Sanji imagined himself drowning in a pile of it all, suffocating in a sea of pastel footie pajamas and brightly colored, overly cheerful animals.

                Sanji suppressed a shudder as he recalled his most recent nightmare.

                One of the sister-in-laws gave them a heavy, square parcel that Pudding tore into eagerly until she saw it was a book. She placed it off to the side after looking over the cover very briefly, gave a half-hearted “thank you”, and proceeded with the next gift. Sanji barely paid it any mind, though he wondered why Pudding passed it over. The sister-in-law looked disappointed, but she shrugged and had more of Whatever It Was Sanji Had Made That He Wasn’t Getting Credit For.

                Once the last present was opened, the women all started to gab excitedly, but something was starting to stir in Sanji that he couldn’t quite figure out. Something felt wrong as he watched the women all cooing over a shirt and pants set that kind of looked like a teddy bear or something. Then over some plastic stacking toy that made a tower of sorts. Something was . . . off, and not just in the “normal” way everything was “off” in this damn place.

                Eventually the women went out into the backyard with lemonade and cookies (both of which he’d made, neither of which he’d been thanked for), leaving him alone with his thoughts in the living room – not even Pudding spared him so much as a glance. He sighed. _Guess I’m just the sperm donor, too_. He leaned forehead, resting his elbows on the coffee table and running his hands through his hair, gritting his teeth when he felt the cold metal of his wristlets brush against his temples.

                Sanji found himself staring at the book. _Getting Ready for Your First Baby: Pregnancy and Year One. _ It seemed like a practical enough gift, considering the circumstances – neither he nor Pudding had ever had children before, of course, so it sort of made sense that one of Pudding’s relatives wanted to give them a little help. _Huh. Guess it's a how-to guide or something?_

                Sanji stared at the cover for several minutes. There was a picture of a woman holding a baby on the cover. She was smiling as she held the baby up to her cheek, and the baby looked like it was laughing at the photographer, reaching out for some unseen bauble. Bullet points next to the picture listed some points of interest the book apparently covered, like how the baby was going to grow and develop in the womb and over the first twelve months (. . . _isn’t that just ‘a year’?_ Sanji thought to himself), baby health, baby safety, a list of must-haves before the baby is born . . .

                Something clicked in the back of Sanji’s head. _A list of must-haves?_ Sanji nervously picked up the book and cracked it open – he could hear its spine breaking, and a waft of new book smell hit his face. His eyes glanced over the table of contents. There was a chapter on conception, chapters on the first, second, and third trimesters, a chapter on delivery, chapters on some of the broader subjects like safety, nutrition, and health, and then a chapter on each of the first twelve months of the baby’s life.

                Sanji pulled his legs up onto the couch, got comfortable, and started to read. He skipped the chapter on conception. _Been there, done that_ , he thought bitterly, recalling his ill-fated attempts to pull out in a last-ditch effort to keep some control over his life. He thumbed through the chapter on the first trimester – that was also over and done with, so that would have put them in the second trimester, right? _Where is the stupid list of must-haves?!_ Sanji thought angrily. _It said they have a list! I want to see the list!_

He finally found the list in the back of the book, and was surprised to see it was a literal fold-out check list that could be easily removed from the book. He started scanning the list – it was well organized to be sure, with different boxes for different categories of baby-stuff. There were items for feeding the baby, bathing the baby, baby safety, baby health, baby exercise . . . it was all so overwhelming. _I didn’t even know some of this stuff existed or that some of this stuff was this important. Huh._

                That was the moment Sanji had a horrifying realization.

                _. . . wait a second. We don’t have **anything** on this list._

                Sanji looked up from the book and at the pile of items they’d gotten from the baby shower. It was _exclusively_ baby clothing and baby toys – nothing else, save for the book. He got up from his place on the couch to look at what they’d gotten. _There’s gotta be like thirty outfits, which I guess is good . . .  but they’re all marked “newborn”._

                Picking up the book again, Sanji flipped to the developmental chapters. He wasn’t an expert on babies, not by a long shot, but over the years at the Baratie he’d overheard various customers talk about how _fast_ babies outgrew their clothing. _Even if we have a lot of baby clothes . . . these will all be useless once the baby outgrows them, right? How long does it take a baby to outgrow their newborn clothes?_ He took a second look at the outfits – sure they were all probably meant to be “cute”, but they all looked like they were meant for dress-up, not day-to-day wear.

                Sanji picked up one of the toys, a plastic ballerina whose tutu looked like a cupcake - it looked like it would be easy for even a baby to take apart. _Isn’t that bad for babies because they like to put everything in their mouths?_ The few times babies had come through the Baratie just about _all_ of them liked to stuff their toys into their mouths, drooling and gumming all over them. One time a baby managed to choke on something and nearly died in the restaurant – he recalled the baby’s mother screaming for a doctor before Zeff stepped in and saved the baby’s life. After the family left and they were closed for the night, he’d used the experience as a teaching moment for his staff, explaining that it was important they all knew how to handle a choking customer no matter how big or small.

                Sanji’s stomach started to churn – he didn’t _want_ to be a father, he wasn’t _ready_ to be a father.  All of this was still happening too fast. But it occurred to him that Pudding hadn’t gotten any other baby supplies since they’d found out she was pregnant, and he realized just how ill prepared they were. His hands, still clutching the ballerina toy, were trembling. He didn’t want to condemn his baby to death!

                _. . . wait . . . this is . . ._

                It was like the world had started to spin in the other direction as the realization hit him. Sanji looked down at the book, then at the pile of useless baby junk, and then got up and slowly headed towards the door leading into the backyard where Pudding and her sisters were all giggling and chattering about something. He caught a glimpse of his wife through the window and stared at her belly.

                _. . . that’s . . . my baby._

                It was the first time Sanji had thought of the baby as, well, _his_ baby. He was always thinking about _the_ baby or how he’d gotten Pudding knocked up, but . . . part of him was surprised he hadn’t fallen over. That child growing inside of Pudding was his son or daughter (. . . did they even _know_ if it was a girl or a boy yet?). His flesh and blood. It wasn't just that he was going to be a father – he was going to have a little boy or girl, and he would be _their_ father.

                _“It’s obvious you’ll be worthless to me as a warrior. I see no value in raising you.”_

 _“You have to work hundreds, no,_ thousands _of times harder to make up for your weakness!”_

_“Your father wants to live in a world where you were never born.”_

_“You want to leave? How conveinient.”_

_“Don’t tell anyone you're my son. You're a blemish on my record.”_

_“You’re a means to an end, Sanji. I don’t consider you my son. We will see you married off.”_

                Sanji clenched his eyes shut. _Right now I’m no better than **him**. None of this mess is their fault! They didn’t ask to be created! They’re not asking to be born! _ He lowered his head as he headed back into the living room. _But in a few months . . . our baby is going to be_ here _. . . and all we have for them are useless dress up clothes and toys that might kill them!_

Sanji covered his mouth as he looked around the living room. Wasn’t there something called “baby-proofing” a house? Was this house “baby-proof”? He had no clue. He got to his feet, hugging himself as a horrifying realization dawned on him. While it was still very true that Sanji was trapped and didn’t have a lot of options, he could still do _some_ things – take basic care of himself, think for himself (even if those thoughts were going to be squashed), defend himself to a point . . .

                . . . his child was going to be _completely helpless_. Babies couldn’t do _anything_ for themselves.

                _I’ve been so busy feeling sorry for myself I never considered how bad this is going to be **for the baby!** I’m not the one in the worst position here! **The baby** is! What the hell am I going to do!?_ Sanji sat back down on the couch. His dreams had been haunted by images of baby monsters and screeching and crying for the past several nights . . . but all he could hear now was a single baby crying for help, and he felt like there was nothing he could do.

                Sanji was no longer afraid of being a father, but he was terrified of being an AWFUL father.

                At that moment, he heard Pudding and her sisters come in from the backyard and Sanji got to his feet. _Maybe Pudding’s already thought about this kind of stuff – just because she doesn’t mind mistreating_ me _doesn’t mean she’s going to mistreat our baby – maybe we’ll be getting all of the stuff on this list within the next few days or weeks._ He hugged himself as he watched the women head to the front door, and he cautiously followed. They were all leaving for the evening – most of them didn’t acknowledge he was even there, but a few said farewell to him specifically, which caught Pudding’s attention as the final guest was gone and they were alone in the house.

                “Well that was nice,” Pudding said with a smile, her hands over her swollen stomach.

                “Y, yeah but . . . Pudding, we don’t have anything to take care of the baby,” he said.

                “What do you mean?”

                Sanji swallowed, remembering the first time she’d said those words in that tone. Choosing his words carefully, he swallowed. “Well . . . it’s just baby clothes and toys and . . . the clothes are all for newborns and the toys . . . I’m not sure they’re all okay for a baby.” Before Pudding got a chance to argue with him, he held up a finger and went into the living room, holding up the toy with the small parts. “See? If this breaks and the baby puts it in their mouth they’ll choke.”

                “Then I guess we won’t let the baby play with that one, but what’s gotten into you?” asked Pudding. She started folding the baby clothes and regarded him with that sickeningly sweet smiles of hers. “Mama says that when the baby arrives, we’ll know _exactly_ what to do – parental instincts and all. So don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” She reached over to pinch his cheek, giggle, and tap his nose.

Realizing that he was putting himself at risk, Sanji decided this was important enough to try and fight for. _This isn’t about me anymore, this is about **our** son or daughter – you can’t ignore your responsibilities, especially when YOU’RE the one who WANTED this baby in the first place! _ “Pudding, we still need to prepare for the baby - there's a lot we need to have taken care of before the baby comes and-“

Pudding snorted with laughter – she wasn’t making a move for his wristlets, but the condescension felt just as bad. “You’re way too worried about this. Parental instincts are the key to everything, and those will come in due time. We still have four months to go – relax a little. We’ll know _exactly_ what to do when the time is right. Okay?”

                _. . . okay. My wife is relying on Magical Mommy Powers. That’s . . . not good._

_So then I guess it's up to me._

                Sanji needed to get out of the house as soon as possible – he took a quick look in the kitchen and saw that he’d already cleaned it – good. Pudding seemed to be completely invested in looking over the baby clothes again – she might not miss him if he wasn’t there. But, still, he cleared his throat, forced himself to smile, and asked a question.

                “Hey, um, I’m going to step out for a bit – is that okay?” It barely registered with him that he felt the need to ask his wife permission to leave the house – he was twenty-two, not twelve (and even so, Zeff had already let him use the food torches after he turned eleven and those things were _stupid dangerous_ ). But especially considering his goal was to effectively undermine his wife’s desire to let their parental instincts kick in “when the time was right”, he wanted to play it safe.

                Pudding smiled and told him to have fun.

                “Fun” was the last thing on Sanji’s mind.

 

                Gathering baby supplies wasn't easy, Nami realized, as she evaluated the marketplace before her. They only had about an hour or two before they had to leave, and that really wasn't enough time to get all of this stuff done.

                On the one hand the nursery was not difficult to assemble at all – between Franky and Usopp, they were able to cut the girls room in half by building a wall right down the middle, and that only took a day or two. Construction of the furniture took about another day, and painting another day or so after that. Even some of the less mechanically inclined Straw Hats got involved with painting, resulting in more than a few destroyed outfits after someone initiated a “paint fight”, but a finished room for the baby (and several destroyed outfits) at the end.

                But everything else the baby needed? Getting that was a nightmare.

                If it had been the way things were before, they could have taken their time in port, looking everything over to make sure they were getting good stuff at a fair or better price. That would have been Nami's biggest contribution to helping with baby preparations – she was the best bargain hunter and batterer of the bunch (unless it came to food – that had always been Sanji-kun’s domain), so she could have knocked out most of their list of things they needed for a fraction of the cost.

                But even after five months on the run, the Beast Pirates hadn't stopped. This complicated their ability to resupply while in port, and as a result they only stayed on any given island for two to three hours at most. That hurt Nami’s ability to barter and hunt for good deals, and as such she just knew in her heart of hearts that she probably wasn’t doing as well as she could have otherwise with her money management. She didn’t have _time_ to figure out which baby bottles were the best quality for the best price. She didn’t have _time_ to argue down the price of diapers.

                Nami found a shop selling bolts of fabric, and her eyes lit up. All of the girls and Usopp knew how to sew – maybe they could make baby clothes and baby linens themselves! Even if she overspent on the fabric, it would still be cheaper than buying something already made in the long run. Nami looked into the wallet she was carrying – she probably had enough for two bolts and a few spools of thread. That would last them a while.

                _I hope Robin, Carrot, and Usopp are all up to this,_ she thought to herself as she stepped into the shop. _Maybe now I can barter with the shopkeeper a little – if all I’m getting is fabric and thread, I should have time to knock his prices down a little. Then maybe I can even get a third bolt of fabric! That would be really good! I-_

Nami heard the clicking of a rifle and saw the shopkeeper pointing his gun at her with a greedy glint in his eyes. “I recognize you – Cat Burglar Nami, the husband stealer, right?” She stared at the man with wide eyes and swallowed. “66 million would be a pretty berry to bring home . . . now come along nice and quiet, pirate.”

                “POP GREEN!”

                Before the shopkeeper had time to fire his rifle, he was quickly tangled and attacked by one of Usopp’s weird plants. Nami turned her head and smiled brightly at the sniper. “Usopp!” she cried out happily, rushing over to hug him. “Thank you!”

                Usopp laughed it off, nudging her to the door. “I just happened to walk by at the right moment – come on, let’s get out of here before he gets out of that!” Nami sighed and looked forlornly at the fabric as Usopp led her out of the store and they broke out into a run towards the shipyard. They would need to get more baby supplies another day, on another island with less bounty-hungry shopkeepers.

                _With all the commotion, I guess we need to head back out to sea sooner than we thought . . ._

“Don’t feel bad about what happened – it’s happened to most of us by now,” he said. “Why, the last time we were in port and I was looking for scrap metal, I was recognized by an army of _500_ bounty hunters who wanted to turn in me, the amazing _GOD USOPP_ , for my 200 million berry bounty!” Nami smiled as Usopp proceeded to spin a tale about how he’d defeated all the bounty hunters, with each wave of combatants getting progressively stronger and ridiculous, and how they all pledged themselves to be his loyal followers. It wasn’t much, but she appreciated the effort.

                Nami hadn’t heard one of Usopp’s tales in a while, and it brought a smile to her face. Way back in the early days of the crew, he would sometimes tell them all one of his lies over dinner. Zoro and Sanji didn’t get it at first, but Luffy always loved them, and after a while they all played into it, feeding into his stories with questions to see how well he could weave in an answer. It brought smiles to all of their faces, and made Nami nostalgic for the way things used to be.

                The Thousand Sunny came into view and she saw Zoro, Pedro, and Franky loading several barrels of cola onto the ship while Robin watched in amusement, her hands over her very pregnant belly. Chopper and Brook were checking the sails, and Carrot was waving to them with a smile on her face. Nami smiled back – it was a reminder that, if nothing else, they hadn’t lost everybody, and they could still find a little bit of happiness in each other.

 

                Two hours later, Sanji returned to the house with a few baby essentials – _actual_ baby essentials. He’d copied the list out of the book (even though Pudding didn’t _care_ about the book, he didn’t want to “destroy” something that she probably considered “hers” and risk his hands, which he now realized he was going to need to take care of the baby) and had gotten as much as he could with what little money he had. While Pudding had full access to the Charlotte family funds, he only had the meager excuse for a paycheck he got for being a member of the “Auxilary Reserve Guard”, which he wasn’t even sure was a real position. Big Mom probably made it up and gave him this pitiful pay as another insult.

                Luckily, he hadn’t really spent any of it – Pudding gave him money for food shopping and he hadn’t really done much spending for himself, other than a few packs of cigarettes for the first month before he had to quit cold turkey. But he realized that it wasn’t nearly enough to get everything on the list. Worse still, he wouldn’t be able to _get_ enough money for everything on the list, and he didn’t think Pudding would humor him by fronting the money for a changing table or literally anything else they were going to need for their child.

                Sanji found a spot on the kitchen floor and looked over his haul – half a dozen baby bottles and small containers to store baby food (he would of course be making his own baby food – he’d need to refresh himself on infant nutrition but he wasn’t worried about that part), a dozen cloth diapers, three practical outfits for colder weather (nothing they had would be good if they had a cold snap, and considering parts of Whole Cake Island were made from ice cream and gelato that was a real possibility), and a baby carrier.

                He wasn’t even _close_ to getting any of the bigger items he was going to need – crib, high chair, stroller, changing table, some sort of dresser for the baby’s clothes, rocking chair . . . Sanji felt physically ill when he thought about those items. There was _no way_ this was going to work. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He _desperately_ wanted a smoke. He _desperately_ needed help.

                _If Nami-san were here, she’d have been able to get most of this list with the budget I had._ _And Franky and Usopp could have probably just_ built _the furniture. And Robin reads a lot so she could help me with more parenting books . . . there’s no way that one book can tell me everything . . ._ Sanji’s eyes widened and his tried to stop thinking about his old friends. He wasn’t a Straw Hat anymore. They all hated him now. They wouldn’t help him even if they could.

                _I’m . . . on my own here. Pudding’s going to be useless so it's just . . . me._

                Frustrated to no end, Sanji gritted his teeth and gripped the knees of his pants. Even if he’d been on the ball months ago, it wouldn’t have mattered. Pudding had probably asked her sisters for all of the useless baby junk and even if Sanji had been ready for this, she would have still blown their big chance to actually get any of the things _they actually **needed** for their baby._ And now he knew he wouldn’t be able to come up with the money. What was he supposed to do, _beg_? Prostitute himself?

                Sanji packed up the items and stuck the bags in the bottom of the pantry – he’d need to find a better place for them soon enough, but at the moment he needed to figure out what he could possibly do to get the house ready for the baby. He crept towards the living room, looking to see if Pudding was still there – nope, not there. She didn’t appear to be on the first floor on at all, but he did hear the sound of shuffling upstairs.

                _Upstairs . . ._ Sanji sighed, slapping his forehead. While it might make sense to maybe keep the baby’s crib in their room for the first month or two, they’d need to set up a nursery. The master bedroom was in good condition, sure, because it was currently occupied, but the two other bedrooms on the top floor were not baby ready. One of them was an office Pudding used for keeping records from her chocolate shop (so that room was out) and the other was being used for storage.

                Sanji frowned – the storage room had its pros and cons. On the one hand, it was the closest of the two to the master bedroom – if the baby started crying in the middle of the night it would be that much faster he could get to them. On the other hand, it was a little bit smaller and not in great condition – the floor was in bad shape and the paint on the walls was peeling. He could work with the smaller size, but the paint and the floor? No good. It was going to take a while for it to get fixed up.

                “Oh, you’re back!”

                Sanji nearly jumped out of his skin when Pudding snuck up behind him – she wrapped her arms around his waist, her belly pressing into the small of his back. “O, oh, hello,” he said. Pudding kissed the side of his neck.

                “Where’d you go?”

                “Just wanted to pick up a few things,” he said. Sanji crossed his arms, putting his hands and wristlets under his biceps where he hoped Pudding wouldn’t be able to get to them.

                “oh? Like what?”

                “. . . Uh, things?”

                Pudding started moving her hands towards his arms. “Sanji darling, you need to tell me what you got. It better not be those nasty cigarettes. You know how much I hate those.”

                “I, uh, just wanted to get a few things got the baby – you, you know, I just . . . felt inspired and wanted to be involved, you know?”

                “Still worried about the baby things?” She laughed, and Sanji clenched his eyes shut in frustration. “You really need to relax, darling.” For a moment he was wondering if it would all get taken care of, but when she put her hands on his waist and started kissing his neck again, this time accompanied by some throaty chuckles, he knew that wasn’t on her mind at all. _Seriously, is this a pregnancy thing or something? This isn’t the time for THAT!_

Sanji realized it was probably because she never _had_ taken it seriously. She was one of Big Mom’s youngest daughters, which meant that she was probably a dangerous combination of having A) been one of the babies of the families and B) likely having some level of exposure to some of her nieces and nephews and only seeing the “fun” part of having babies (which included the making of said babies on their wedding night).

_We can't rely on instincts! We need to prepare for this baby NOW!_

Pudding giggled, gave him a come hither look, and started leading him towards the stairs. Sanji grimaced but forced a smile as he followed her to their bedroom. _You are beyond useless. You are BEYOND USELESS!_ Sanji wanted to start screaming, but there was nothing he could do except keep the situation from escalating.

Sanji was distracted as they entered their bedroom, but he wasn’t sure his wife noticed. He hardly paid any attention to Pudding putting on a strip show for him (though he had to admit she looked good for being five months pregnant). It barely registered with him that his shirt was being unbuttoned and his pants removed. As had been the case for the past month or so, Sanji let Pudding top him to avoid hurting the baby – he wouldn’t be allowed to top until after the baby was born.

                Pudding sighed happily as soon as he was inside of her and began to ride him. Sanji closed his eyes, trying to use the sex to clear his head or at least relax a little. Maybe that would help him think. He gripped the pillow beneath his head as he half-heartedly returned her thrusts, his mind elsewhere. When it was over, Sanji didn’t feel any better, at least not better enough to come up with a plan to make this situation any better for the baby.

Pudding yawned and wished him a good night before promptly falling asleep beside him. Sanji wearily looked her over, his eyes feeling heavy. He felt exhausted, and before long felt sleep begin to overtake him, and he slipped into unconsciousness beside the wife he didn’t love and the child he was no longer sure he didn’t want.

 

                “Baby! _Baby!_ ”

                Sanji was lost in the woods, calling for his child. It was cold out and the wind was howling, racing through the trees and biting at his skin. He could hear the baby’s cries in the distance, but he couldn't figure out where they were. “Baby, Baby where are you!?”

                “What are you doing?”

                Sanji turned to see Pudding beside him, a cross look on her face. She was dressed in a white fur coat, sipping a cup of deep red hot cocoa, and giving him a condescending glare. Sanji looked at his wife in desperation. “Pudding, please, I need to go help the baby! They need me!” The baby was getting farther away. “Please!”

                “Don’t be stupid, they’re fine! My Magical Mommy Powers told me so!” Pudding laughing and spread her arms, glaring at him cruelly. “Mother knows best – what do you even care? You didn't even want this baby! You'd rather run off and go play pirate! Didn't you scream that you didn't want to be a father?!”

                “That doesn't matter right now! Our baby is in trouble!”

                “Relax – let’s just go to bed and let me fuck you.”

                “This isn't the time or the place for that! What is _wrong_ with you?!”

                “Nothing at all, Sanji darling.”

                The ground disappeared beneath Sanji and he screamed as he started to fall, finding himself surrounded by broken baby things and debris. He looked upwards and saw a swaddled bundle crying out for help. “Hang on!” Sanji righted himself and started to dart through the air, sky-walking to his child. “Daddy’s almost there!”

                Sanji reached the bundle and took them in his arms – the baby was safe now. The baby was still crying, but their cries were softer and they seemed to be calming down a little. Sanji sighed with relief, patting the baby’s back as they began to fall. “It's okay . . . I'm here now . . . I'm here now . . . I'm here now . . .”

               

                Sanji opened his eyes and saw darkness. He sat up in bed and turned to look at the clock on his nightstand – it was a little after midnight, so he hadn’t been asleep for too long at all. This nightmare hadn't been so jarring, but it was still bothersome. Sanji lowered himself back down into the bed, lost in thought as he put his hands behind his head to think. _I'm going to be a father in four months, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. This is not going to end well if I don't figure something out fast._

Pudding stirred a little in her sleep, and Sanji turned to face her. His eyes had adjusted enough to the darkness that he could make out the features of her face and her body, only half-covered by her side of the blanket. She had her mouth hanging open, a puddle of drool collecting on her pillow. His eyes traveled down, past her neck and her collarbone and her breasts and settled on her midsection.

                It was strange. He’d been watching as the pregnancy progressed, quietly resenting everything it represented but now . . . all he could do was stare at her in wonder as he wrapped his head around the concept for what felt like the hundredth time that day. That was his unborn child growing in there. He frowned, his eyes briefly darting to Pudding’s face and he thought about how the day had transpired. _It’s just going to be me. She’s going to sit around waiting for everything to just come to her while our son or daughter suffers for it. It’s not fair._

                Pudding whined in her sleep, and Sanji wondered what had her so agitated. He waited a few minutes for her to fall back into a deep sleep. Was it possible the baby was doing something to her? Sanji looked at her stomach again and sighed. “Are you okay in there?” Sanji whispered. No response, of course. The baby wasn't born yet and Pudding could sleep through the Paramount War. But his eyes were locked into his wife's pregnant belly, and for the first time Sanji dared to reach out and touch her stomach.

                Sanji nearly jumped out of bed when he felt a little kick. His eyes widened in surprise as his hand hovered over his wife's swollen stomach. “Whoa. You're moving around already?” Sanji put his hand against Pudding’s belly again. He felt another kick, and he frowned. “Well, what are we going to do? You're going to be here in four months and I don't know what I'm supposed to do. But I promise you - I'm going to figure this out, okay?”

The baby moved again, and Sanji frowned. _Four months. Tick tock, Sanji._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes
> 
> So I decided to try something a little different this past week. Since I am trying to stick to a pretty strict schedule with posting new chapters every two weeks, on weeks that I don't end up posting a new chapter I would like to try and post sneak previews of the next chapter. These will be posted to my fanfiction Tumblr (dixxyfics) and reblogged to my main Tumblr (dixxymouri), where I do a lot of One Piece meta commentary/analysis amongst other random reblogs about whatever. Feel free to follow me on either or both if you want to and don't be afraid to drop me an ask – I won't bite (unless you want me to). Even if you just want to let me know I am the worst because how dare I do these things.
> 
> So . . . 843 and 844 happened! So many feels. So much upset. Gah, why Oda, why!? I’m sure things will be fine by the end of the arc but wow, those chapters hurt. Luffy was freaking awesome though. Like seriously, good job Luffy. All of the applause. As for Nami . . . I really think we need to wait for 845 and beyond because it’s hard to tell exactly what’s going on with her at the moment other than her not being happy.
> 
> As always, please be sure to leave a comment, review, or reply to let me know what you thought.
> 
> Dixxy


	6. We’ll Just Say I Restored Balance to His Karma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinbe decides he needs to have a talk with Sanji about fatherhood. Sanji learns that no matter how bad Whole Cake Island is, there are still people out there who have his back.

Knotted  
By Dixxy Mouri  
Chapter Five: We’ll Just Say I Restored Balance to His Karma

                It had been a while since Jinbe had had a chance to check in on Sanji and Pudding.

                Aladdin and Praline informed him that they’d just had a human ritual called a “baby shower” that involved expecting parents receiving various items that were supposed to help raise the child. Jinbe thought that sounded like a nice ritual, very similar in tone to a fishman tradition of the immediate family members taking care of the basic household tasks for the first two months so the new parents could focus on their child and bond. Praline had been invited but was unable to attend.

                Jinbe sighed. Sanji had been acting increasingly aloof for the past few months and while he sympathized with his situation, he didn’t think the cook was handling it very well at all. He couldn’t leave his wife (and truth be told Jinbe didn’t think he’d forgive him if he found a way to do it – Pudding was a sweet girl and it would be wrong to just leave her in the lurch with the baby) so he needed to find some way to adjust to his marriage and impending fatherhood.

                Really, Jinbe didn’t want to give Sanji another talk about what he “had” to do because, well, Jinbe knew the poor cook had more than enough of that. Sanji _had_ to get married. Sanji _had_ to leave the Straw Hats. Sanji _had_ to attempt conceiving a child on his wedding night. But the pregnancy was halfway over by this point (per Praline, human women carried their children for about nine months or so) and he’d seen no improvement in his attitude in regards to the baby. This, unfortunately, wasn’t about the captive cook anymore – this was about the baby and what needed to be done for the child’s safety and well-being. It still wasn't fair to Sanji, at all, but his fate had been sealed.

                So, bringing with him something he thought might be good for the baby and Sanji to bond with (a book of bedtime stories suitable for small children), Jinbe made the trek to where the Vinsmoke-Charlottes were making their home, wondering how he was going to handle the subject of “manning up” to Sanji.

                _Now look here, Sanji, you need to suck it up and be a man! No that isn't right . . . Sanji, I know this is hard for you but you really need to deal with it . . . That's even worse . . . Sanji, how would you feel if your father did that you . . . Wait, DEFINITELY not that one . . . What the hell am I supposed to say to him to snap him out of this before the baby arrives? Perhaps I need to ask Pudding for help? She must have noticed her husband’s attitude by now and I’m sure she’ll want to help._

                Jinbe finally made it to the house, trying to decide his opening line, when he saw the front door open and a somewhat frantic looking Sanji slip out, barely taking a moment to lock the door behind him. His eyes were glued to a notepad, which he was flipping through as he started to talk, muttering something to himself. _What’s gotten into him?_ Jinbe was relieved to see Sanji had come back to life a bit, but curious as to why he seemed to panicked.

                “You look like you’re on a mission,” Jinbe called out as he approached the cook. Sanji stopped in his tracks, looking around for a moment before he spotted the fishman. His stance relaxed a little, but as he drew closer he could tell that Sanji hadn’t slept very well (worse than usual – the cook hadn’t slept well since arriving on the island, most likely) and looked very worried.

                “You could say that,” he said, meeting the fishman part way. “I, um . . . I have some things I need to take care of.” Sanji looked fidgety, like he was debating telling Jinbe what he needed to “take care of”. He was chewing on his bottom lip, probably a leftover from his days as a smoker (a decision that still struck Jinbe as odd – why had the cook suddenly quit smoking one day?) and shuffling uncomfortably in place.

                “Sanji . . .”

                The cook bit his bottom lip. “. . . I think I’m on my own. _Really_ on my own,” he said.

                “What do you mean?”                   

                Sanji looked back at the house in frustration. “Can we walk and talk?”

                “I . . . all right,” said Jinbe. He wasn’t sure what the rush was, but if this was the only way he was going to be able to talk to Sanji, then so be it. The two men began to walk towards the downtown area of Sweet City, which didn’t give Jinbe much of a clue as to where they were headed. There were a _lot_ of shops and amenities in that part of town. “Where are we going, exactly?”

                “The baby shower was yesterday afternoon,” said Sanji, looking around nervously. His eyes settled on the notepad again and he groaned in frustration. “Pudding seemed really happy with how thing went but . . . I’m not. Never mind the fact that I catered the whole thing and no one gave me any credit for my cooking, it made me realize how _bad_ this whole baby thing is going to end up being and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

                Jinbe shook his head. “Well, the point of a human baby shower is to collect all of the things the new parents will need, isn’t it? Aladdin and Praline told me all about them – they seem quite useful. I realize that it must have been a shock to see all of those things but you’ll need them to care for that child.” _It looks like this will be my opening for our “chat”_. “Now, while I understand that your situation is difficult, you can’t-“

                “You don’t understand, Jinbe – Pudding didn’t get anything _useful_ for the baby.”

                That stunned the fishman. He’d expected a complaint about how stupid the baby things were or how much he didn’t want to do this but . . . instead he seemed very concerned about the well-being of his child and that they wouldn’t be prepared in time for their arrival. _Maybe I don’t need to give him this talk after all. I . . . guess that’s a good thing? But he probably needs to calm down – nervous father-to-be is better than resentful father-to-be but I don’t think stressing himself out is much of an improvement._

                Sanji looked beside himself as he continued. “The only things she got yesterday were baby clothes and baby toys, and at least _half_ of those toys aren’t safe for an infant. Oh, well, she got this, too, but she hasn’t even looked at it even though it might be the best thing we got,” he said, handing him a book that had been under his arm.

                Jinbe took a moment to study the cover. “Ah, a guide for new parents. How thoughtful,” he said.

                “Well, I’m not convinced it had _everything_ I’m going to need to know but . . . it made me realize how much of a fucking asshole I’ve been,” he said. Sanji’s eyes were filled with sadness as he continued. “I used to overhear people talking about this kind of thing at the restaurant where I grew up, and this book confirmed it – aside from maybe some of the stuffed animals, there’s a lot of things with small parts that the baby might choke on, so most of the toys are out, at least until the baby is older. And I don’t know about fishmen or mermen babies, but human babies grow _really_ fast, and the _only_ size she got was _newborn_ , which won’t get us very far – I’m not even sure the baby is going to have a chance to _WEAR_ all of that clothing before they outgrow it all!”

                “. . . so you need to get better baby toys and bigger baby clothes?” asked Jinbe. Well, that didn’t seem so bad. “I suppose the dangerous toys can be stored away and I suppose you can buy baby clothing as you need it, right? Besides, you won’t know if the baby is a boy or a girl until they’re born, right? So that’s not so bad, right?”

                The father-to-be looked at him with a frustrated, panicked look in his eyes, and Jinbe realized he hadn’t diffused the situation at all. “It's more than that! We’re really behind on the things we’re going to need! We don’t have a room cleared out for the baby – the book said that sometimes it’s a good idea to keep the baby in the parent’s room, but you still need to have the nursery set up. And that’s not counting everything else we’re going to need – I ran out yesterday for bottles and some other stuff but it’s not going to be enough. It’s not even _close_ to enough!”

                Jinbe stopped in his tracks as it hit him. “Wait, you don’t have _anything_ _at all_ for the baby?”

                “Aside from the useless junk Pudding got at the baby shower and the bare bones stuff I got? No, no we don’t.” Sanji looked at Jinbe with fearful eyes. “Pudding seems to be taking this like she’s getting a really elaborate _doll_ or something and thinks we’ll just magically ‘know what to do’ when the baby gets here but . . . I don’t think that’s how that works.” He closed his eyes. “As bad as my situation is . . . the baby is going to be _helpless_. _Completely_ helpless. At least I can _try_ to reason with Pudding and take basic case of myself but babies can’t do _any_ of that.”

                Jinbe closed his eyes. _While I’m relieved Sanji is finally taking fatherhood seriously, it seems as if Pudding is not taking motherhood with the same amount of zeal._ “You should be telling her all of this, not me,” said Jinbe, crossing his arms and handing the book back to Sanji. “I understand that she isn’t the wife you wanted, but you need to make her understand as well.”

                The frustration radiating from Sanji was so intense Jinbe could almost taste it. “. . . I can’t. That’s the problem.” He wasn’t looking at the fishman anymore. “I don’t know if Big Mom told her to do this or if it’s something Pudding came up with on her own but . . . if I try to fight with her about something, she’ll grab one of my wristlets until it starts to beep.”

                Jinbe’s jaw dropped. “She’s _what?!_ ”

                Sanji looked embarrassed, rubbing his hands in worry. “That’s the reason I quit smoking. That’s why we have a flower garden in the back but she won’t let me plant vegetables or herbs. That’s why I’ve been letting her drag me around everywhere without any argument. Yes Pudding this. Yes Pudding that. If I do or say something she doesn’t like and I don’t stop _immediately_ she does . . . that.” He closed his eyes. “I’m afraid to ask her for money to knock out the rest of my shopping list. Big Mom doesn’t pay me a lot as a member of the ‘Auxillary Reserve Guard’ so I’m not sure I can do it on my own, and I don’t think she’s realized yet that she needs to help me with this part of baby preparation – we have to be ready to do more than just play dress up!”

                “What the hell is the ‘Auxillary Reserve Guard’?” Jinbe had never heard of that division.

                Sanji let out an audible groan teeming with frustration. “Based on what you just said? Exactly what I thought it was. She _had_ to give me a position on her crew, so she made up a bullshit one with a low pay grade as either a personal insult, a way to keep me under her daughter’s thumb, or _both_ ,” said Sanji. He sighed. “That’s . . . actually what I’m heading out to do right now – I need money. If Pudding won’t provide for the baby, I need to find some other way to do it.”

                Jinbe wasn’t sure how to respond to something like that. He'd been so ready to tear Sanji a new one that seeing him desperate to help his unborn child left him at a loss for what to do. But now Sanji's attitude made sense – while Jinbe suspected he'd only recently had his epiphany in regards to the baby, Pudding’s abuse put everything else into a new light. Of course Sanji was emotionally shut down – he was probably trying to cope with what was happening to him.

                _I wanted to make sure he was doing all right . . . how could I have missed that?_

“So . . . where is this money coming from?” Jinbe asked, not sure what else to say. “I know how you feel, but prostitution is now the way-“

                “I’m not whoring myself out, Jinbe, I’m going to a pawn shop!” Sanji retorted, though he was visibly red in the face from embarrassment. He wondered if this was something the cook had considered. “I have a few things that I want to pawn off – my cigarette case and lighter, and my wallet chain. I really don’t have much to pawn, since I really just had the clothes on my back when I was taken, but those were nice enough, I guess, so I’m hoping the pawn shop owner is able to give me something good for them, you know?” Sanji sighed. “I know it won’t be enough but . . . I’ll figure it out.”

                Jinbe frowned. _This doesn’t look good . . ._

                Sanji and Jinbe finally reached their destination. Jinbe cringed – he knew this pawn shop and that is was . . . shadier than most, even for an island ruled by one of the Four Emperors. Undeterred, the cook headed inside and approached the long-arm tribesman who ran the shop. “Good morning!” Sanji said cheerfully. He dropped his items on the counter. “What can I get for these?”

                The pawn shopkeeper nodded and tossed Sanji a small bag of berry coins. “Ten thousand.”

                Jinbe watched the color drain from Sanji’s face. “That’s it? That can’t be right! The wallet chain alone was worth at least twenty thousand and the lighter was at least five thousand! How am I only getting ten thousand for _everything_?!” he said. The shopkeeper only grinned condescending at Sanji and repeated his initial offer of ten thousand berries.

                _Oh Sanji . . ._ Jinbe watched as the crestfallen father-to-be continued to fruitlessly haggle with the pawn shop owner, but he must have already known he wasn’t going to get another berry out of the man. Jinbe was positive that had this been before he’d been shackled he would have fought harder, but it seemed as if he’d learned to not fight back after a mere five months of marriage to a woman who wasn’t above cheap shots to “keep him in line”.

                Giving up, Sanji politely thanked the pawn shop owner before giving his items one last crestfallen look as he accepted the ten thousand berries. Sanji wandered away from the counter, briefly looking around the shop, probably searching for second-hand baby furniture. Jinbe quietly followed, wondering if things were just as bad as he said they were. _She couldn’t possibly be this neglectful . . . could she? Sanji shouldn’t be scouring the depths of a pawn shop for this, not when his wife is a member of Big Mom’s immediate family._

Sanji found a high chair – he touched it and it wobbled almost too easily. It wasn’t even remotely safe for an infant. He backed away from it, biting his bottom lip before Jinbe placed a hand on his shoulder, shook his head, and led the cook out of the pawn shop. “It’s okay Sanji . . . you tried. I’m sure something will turn around.”

                “Yeah . . . really,” Sanji said dryly. As they exited the shop, Jinbe noticed a look of defeat on his face. “I don't know what to do. And I'm afraid she's going to want another baby after this one but . . . I don’t even know how I'm going to take care of this one. What would I do with two or more?”

                Jinbe remained sympathetic, but it wasn't exactly uncommon knowledge that Big Mom heaped praise upon her children when they had large families. He felt ill at the thought of one of the Straw Hats being reduced to little more than a breeder for the Big Mom Pirates. That wasn't a life – that was _slavery._ A pit formed in Jinbe’s stomach as he realized that was probably the best way to describe that marriage, and it made his blood boil.

                The fishman patted Sanji's shoulder. He knew it wouldn't help.

                A month or so later, and Sanji still hadn’t managed to accomplish everything he wanted to get done. They were now at the start of month six – three months to go, assuming Pudding didn’t deliver ahead of schedule. One of his biggest “victories” was getting the storage room cleared out and painted. Pudding had been upset at first, but Sanji claimed he was bored (which wasn’t entirely untrue) and that it was giving him something to do. He hadn’t done that bad of a job with the painting, either, so now, at least, they had a room with pistachio green walls and off-white trim for the nursery.

                Sanji wanted to focus more on baby supplies, but realized that there was only so far he could get without information – never mind not having the necessary tools, he needed knowledge on the subject, too. So he'd given himself a crash course in child rearing, digesting as many books on the subject as he could read once he’d found a bookstore. He’d tried to find a library, but there was no such facility anywhere in Tottoland.

                That had struck Sanji as a bit odd – why wouldn’t Tottoland have any libraries? But while he was pondering that question from the kitchen table, he eyed the newspaper Pudding had brought in.  It was the official Tottoland newspaper ( _The Tottoland Journal_ ), and he realized he hadn’t seen any copies of the other big papers ( _The North Blue Times_ , _The South Blue Tribune, The West Blue Post,_ or _The East Blue Globe_ ). After leafing through the paper, he realized very quickly it was stuffed with pro-Big Mom propaganda, whereas he suspected the other papers might not be so kind.

Suddenly the lack of a library made sense – Big Mom wouldn’t want any outside ideas getting into the heads of the citizens of Tottoland. When he investigated the book store after this epiphany, he discovered that while not all of it was directly propaganda (most of the books were how-to guides on various practical skills, like his painting guide and parenting books), there were no history or science books and very little in terms of fiction outside of some trashy bodice rippers glamorizing arranged marriage.

Sanji investigated the romance novels and instantly felt ill. They were all the same basic story about a bland heroine and her husband – all of them in the kind of positions Big Mom targeted for alliances – falling in passionate love. The men all started off resisting in every single book, but eventually were won over by their wives to live in “wedded bliss”. The message seemed to be that if you tried hard enough you could change your husband and “fix” whatever you didn't like.

There was one in particular Sanji had seen around the house but hadn't actually looked at beyond the cover until now. He wanted to vomit when he realized what it was about. The story was about a baker’s daughter married to a handsome prince as a gesture of good will between their kingdoms. The prince was upset because he hadn't wanted to settle down and wanted to go off on what everyone else in the book called “foolish adventures”, but his wife was able to charm and seduce him until he eventually realized everything he wanted was home because all that mattered was true love.

It’s publication date was a month before his wedding.

 It wasn't a perfect match for their situation, though he was a prince who wished he was off adventuring and Pudding was a chocolatier. Sanji recognized a few of the sex scenes as things Pudding had gotten them to act out before and he felt used now that he knew where those ideas came from. His wife was probably projecting the plot of the book onto her twisted view of their marriage. Pudding didn't bother treating him well because according to this book and all of the others with similar plots (pirates, gangsters, bounty hunters, all forced into marriages for one reason or another), he'd simply fall in love with her over time, especially if they had enough sex.

It all made a horrifying amount of sense. Libraries collected knowledge and archived it for years to be shared while bookstores changed their wares daily and since you had to buy them, it limited how many you could get a hold of (unlike a library, which lent books out for free). Furthermore, the books in the store were tailored for the environment Big Mom wanted to cultivate. Be good at domestic tasks. If your husband doesn't love you now, he will eventually.

No wonder the Charlotte girls were enamored with their husbands.

_Fucking hell, this isn't good,_ Sanji thought. But for the moment he had bigger problems to worry about, though he realized that was a nugget of information to keep in mind for later. It would be a while before the baby was old enough to read and seek an education, but Sanji realized a steady diet of this shit probably wouldn’t be good in the long-term for them. A problem, to be sure, but not a problem that needed his immediate attention. He had a few years to sort that one out. 

                Propaganda problem aside, there was still a lot he had to do. Figuring out the paint hadn’t been too bad – he already had an eye for detail and mistakes were easy enough to cover up. But the floor was far beyond his capabilities – they would need to hire a professional to fix that, and he wasn’t sure how the hell he was going to convince Pudding to put up the money for that.

                Speaking of his most immediate captor, Pudding had dragged him out of the house early for a full day of out and about the city. There was also some visiting with one of her sisters who hadn’t made it to the baby shower, and he had to contain his excitement when said sister gave them a bright yellow high chair with pink frosted cupcakes painted on the back of the seat. _Yes! We absolutely need this! Thank you . . . shit, which one are you again?_

                But that wasn't the only thing he'd gotten from that visit. He already knew Big Mom wanted her children to have large families but there was one part of the conversation that caught him off guard.

                “Since I'm done having babies I thought you could use this. My husband fixed it up so it’s good as new, but it's the same one we used for all eight kids.”

                “Why did you stop at only eight?” Pudding asked sweetly.

                _. . . only eight. ONLY eight?! ONLY EIGHT?!_

In his head, Sanji was already downing a bottle of rosé he had squirreled away in his kitchen. There would be no need for a glass. Just the cork popper would do. And there would be no need to keep the cork. He also wondered if he'd be able to stay conscious long even to get into that bottle of riesling as well. Maybe not finish it, though.

Maybe finish it.

. . . probably finish it.

Pudding put her hand on Sanji's thigh. “My Sanji darling is a quadruplet. I bet we can get to at least ten or twelve inside ten years, no problem.”

Sanji did not want his children to outnumber his fingers.

_Looks like my Pinot noir might not last the night, either._

“Well that was a fun day!” Pudding said cheerfully while Sanji carried the high chair back to the house. It wasn’t heavy, but it was awkward enough that Pudding didn’t insist on holding his hand or his arm or whatever as they made the walk back. “It was so nice of Mr. Jinbe to offer to house sit while we had some alone time together!”

                _. . . the hell?_ “House sit?” Sanji asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion. “Pudding, we’ve been gone maybe eight hours, if that – you don’t need a house sitter for just eight hours.”

                Pudding shrugged. “He offered?”

                _Why the hell did Jinbe offer to housesit for an afternoon? Is that a fishman thing or something? Seriously who does that?_ Sanji shrugged it off as they approached the house. Pudding started to rifle through her purse for the keys, but the door creaked open on its own. Jinbe greeted them warmly.

                “Good evening!” he greeted. “Lady Pudding, did you enjoy your quality time with your husband?”

                Pudding grabbed Sanji by the arm and nuzzled her head against his shoulder. “Oh yes, we had a wonderful time! Thank you for house sitting!” she said. Sanji stared at Jinbe skeptically. _No, no you’re up to something. Seriously, what the hell did you do?_ The fishman gave him a knowing grin before turning his attention back to Pudding.

                “My dear, I must admit I had ulterior motives, but I understand that you love surprises, yes?”

                Pudding nodded. “I do.”

                Sanji narrowed his eyes skeptically. _Jinbe . . ._

                “Then follow me, please.” Jinbe started to head towards the stairs, and Sanji had a sneaking suspicion he knew what the fishman had spent the day doing.

                The door to the storage room was closed, and Jinbe was standing right outside of it. He gestured for Pudding to open the door, but winked at Sanji.

                Pudding opened the door and gasped. “Oh _my!_ Sanji darling, come look!”

                The cook’s jaw dropped when he got a look at the room. Sanji had no clue how Jinbe did it in less than eight hours, but the _entire_ rest of the room had been completely renovated **_and_** furnished. The carpet was a deep teal that their feet just about sank into that complimented the seafoam green he’d chosen for the walls. There was a crib with a fish-themed mobile, a rocking chair with soft blue cushions, a fully-stocked changing table, a chest of drawers, and a bookshelf with a small assortment of storybooks on the top shelf, all in the same creamy off-white he'd painted the trim. There were even a few stuffed animals (all of them newborn appropriate) nestled in the crib.

                It accounted for well over _half_ of Sanji’s to-do list.

                As he looked around the room in wide eyed shock and wonder, he was overcome with emotion as he saw even more. There was baby powder and diaper cream on the changing table. There were extra linens for the crib folded neatly in one of the dresser drawers.

                _Jinbe . . . I’m going to make sure you eat like a king for a year, you magnificent son of a bitch._

                “Praline sends her regrets that she couldn’t attend your baby shower, so we made arrangements to have this done for you while you were out,” he said. Pudding was too busy excitedly exploring the nursery, though Sanji noticed she didn’t spent as much time with the more practical pieces (such as the changing table and the dresser). _She still thinks this baby is a toy . . . damn it Pudding . . ._

“Praline paid for all of this?” asked Pudding, her eyes lit up in excitement.

                “Well, Sanji is a friend of mind so I chipped in a bit as well,” Jinbe said with a smile.

                Pudding clapped excitedly. “I should go see her! Sanji darling, do you want to come with me?”

                “Actually, Lady Pudding, would it be all right if the two of us visited for a bit? I have a few things I’d like to speak to him about, man-to-man,” Jinbe said. Pudding pouted, but she shrugged it off before kissing Sanji’s cheek and running off, excitedly squealing about the nursery as she disappeared down the stairs.

                Sanji turned his attention to Jinbe. “Really. Praline did all this.”

                “Well . . . she paid for the crib linens,” Jinbe said with a belly laugh. “I told her I was covering the rest, but that she could take the credit anyways.”

                The cook let that information process before he looked around the room again, trying to calculate just how much this had all cost. “Wait, wait, wait . . . the rest of this was you?” Sanji asked in shock. He turned to Jinbe with wide eyes. “Jinbe, this is way too much, I can’t accept this! How, how much did this all run you? You need to let me pay you back-”

                Jinbe shook his head and held up his hand. “You’re right, _you_ can’t accept this, but remember, this isn’t for you.” He chuckled. “And don’t worry about paying me back – if your wife is as bad as you say she is, and from the conversation I had with her this morning it seems like she is, then you’re going to need to make your little paycheck stretch as far as it can.”

                Sanji paused to think about that before taking a seat in the rocking chair. “You’re right. But . . . thank you. You have no idea how much of a relief it is that we have this room set up . . . and that Pudding didn’t flip out you tried to undermine her or something.” He looked around, poking his finger at a stuffed monkey in the crib. “But this doesn’t look cheap – how did you afford this?”

                “Let’s just say that we may have robbed an extra Marine ship on our way back to Whole Cake Island, so I had a little extra,” Jinbe said with a wink.

                Sanji wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He _was_ a pirate, but this was for his baby, not him.

                “Don’t feel too guilty about it – the commander of that ship is kind of an asshole and only got his position because of his father. Terrible man, a lot of racist vitriol comes out of his mouth – he wanted to build a wall around the entire South Blue and make them pay for it. I say he’s trying to overcompensate for his tiny little hands,” said Jinbe. He snorted. He poked his head out into the hallway, looking both ways before dipping back into the room. “However, I have one more gift for you, but you _can’t_ let Pudding know about it.” He reached into his jinbe and pulled out . . . a bottle of a popular brand of men’s vitamins.

                Sanji took the bottle and raised an eyebrow at Jinbe. He was pretty sure one of the male Straw Hats bought these – Usopp or Zoro, he figured, since he didn’t think Luffy cared about vitamins, Chopper and Brook probably had different dietary needs (being a reindeer and a skeleton respectively) and he was reasonably certain he saw them on the Going Merry, which ruled out Franky. “Uh . . . thanks?” He turned the bottle over – it sounded like there were tiny pill-shaped objects inside so there was nothing out of the ordinary there. “I don’t get it – why would Pudding be upset that I’m taking vitamins?”

                Jinbe frowned. “W, well, you seem to think Pudding will want more children. . .”

                Sanji sighed. “Don't remind me. She wants _at least_ ten or twelve.”

                “. . . she can't be serious.”

“. . .I have at least three bottles of wine that are going to help me process that.”

Jinbe frowned. “Well, this will help.”

“How is more vitamin B6 going to help me take care of a dozen kids?”

“Those aren't vitamins in the bottle.”

“Huh?” Sanji asked.

                “. . . it’s birth control.”

                The cook’s eyes widened in shock.. “You’re asking me to sneak these into Pudding’s food?”

                “What? No!” said Jinbe, shaking his head and his hands. “These were developed from a plant native to Fishman Island that was found to reduce fertility in men – these are for _you_ , not her.” He lowered his eyes. “You’ve already realized that bringing _one_ child into this situation is going to be difficult. I suspect that a second or third child would be a disaster . . . never mind a twelfth child..”

                Sanji stared at the pills sadly. _Keep in mind that you’re at a higher risk for twins, triplets, or worse, Sanji . . . you could go from one to five with no stops in between just like Mom and the Bastard did . . ._ “Is this permanent?”

                “No . . . but I’m actually glad you asked that.”

                “Huh?”

                Jinbe smiled. “It means you still have hope to get out of here.”

                Sanji stared at the bottle again, and for a minute he thought about Nami-san. He hadn't forgotten about her or their promise to go on a lunch date. Perhaps if there was a way convince her he hadn't been the one to kill Luffy . . . just maybe . . .

                _Is it really possible we could still have a future together some day, Nami-san? We never had that lunch date. Is it really possible you could ever look at me again the same way you did that night? I'm damaged goods. I'm going to have a child soon. You'll never be my first marriage or first partner. Who's to say you won't find someone else? Even if you could stop hating me, could you accept even a little of that?_

_Do you still need me to find the All Blue to complete your map of the world?_

Sanji  looked away from the bottle. “I . . . I don’t know about that,” he said. He looked down at his left hand. “There’s no way to get the wristlets off and . . . then there’s the marriage . . .” His eyes glossed over his wedding ring. _Even if I found a way out of the wristlets, how do I get the ring off? Even if I physically take it off . . . I’m still married to her, right?_

_Still . . . it wouldn’t be right to bring any more kids into this marriage . . ._

Sanji opened the bottle and looked at the little green pills. “You can keep me supplied?”

                Jinbe nodded. “Just remember – it would be a disaster if she found out.”

Taking a deep breath, Sanji nodded his head and took a pill.

_One Month Later . . ._

The New World was oddly quiet that day. The sea was calm, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and the Three Swords were a tiny bit relaxed. Robin was due any day now and had taken to spending most of her time on the deck in one of the lounge chairs with a book and a drink. She looked over her glass of juice and frowned, briefly missing the presence of elaborate mixed drinks and garnishes that Sanji would have provided.

                _It’s not that I miss the fancy drinks, I just miss him_ , she thought sadly, a hand over her very swollen belly. She flinched as she felt the baby kick, but she smiled and rubbed the spot. “Just a while longer, little one - I'm excited to meet you, too,” she said soothingly. She sighed and leaned back into her chair.

                Maybe a nap would be good . . .

                Robin closed her eyes and started to drift off to sleep. She’d been very tired as of late. Franky and the others had done the best they could for her given the Three Sword’s situation.

                Just as she was about to drift off, she heard running feet and yelling. She opened her eyes and saw Franky already rushing over to her. “Come on, Robin, let's get you inside.”

                Robin frowned. “Beast Pirates?” Franky nodded as he helped her to her feet. As soon as she was standing, however, she nearly doubled over in pain.

                Not now . . . NOT NOW!!!

                Robin looked at her lover in panic. “I think it's time.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes
> 
> These authors notes are going to be a little different.
> 
> The world changed this past Tuesday when the United States held our presidential election and we came out the other side with a man who ran on a platform of hatred as the next person to live in the White House. It has been less than a week and my country has already seen a spike in hate crimes and sexual assault. I have never seen my country react this strongly to the outcome of one of our elections before. Even if you are outside the U.S. some world markets destabilized – the peso dropped in value and Asian markets started crashing. Clearly, we did not learn from the fallout of the Brexit that racist and xenophobic rhetoric is bad not only for our country but for the rest of the world as well.
> 
> While I am proud to say I live in a swing state and we kept my home’s four little electoral votes away from that monster’s teeny tiny little hands, we barely managed to do it. Hate almost won in my beautiful New Hampshire. But it has, for now, won my country. At the moment the future feels uncertain: my friends are terrified, I myself am a cancer survivor currently on the ACA (though another avenue is open to me for the moment), and nightly protests and petitions are flooding the streets of our biggest cities.
> 
>  Knotted is a story that begins with the bad guys winning and sees the Straw Hats torn apart. It's got a sad premise. But it's also a story about not giving up:
> 
> \---
> 
>                 Sanji stared at the pills sadly. “Is this permanent?”
> 
>                 “No . . . but I’m actually glad you asked that.”
> 
>                 “Huh?”
> 
>                 Jinbe smiled. “It means you still have hope to get out of here.”
> 
> \---
> 
> And that is what I want you all to remember right now. We must have hope to get out of this mess. John Oliver said that the American people are defiant, so much so that even if we say “no we aren't” we’re just proving his point. Organizations like the ACLU are not going to let our protections disappear without a fight. And we can stop him in 2018 if we can flip Congress and in 2020 grab him by the ballot.
> 
> It's okay to be scared right now, especially if you're female or LGBT or a person of color or disabled or Jewish or Muslim or any other group currently under fire. I know people who fall under more than one of these umbrellas. It's okay to cry right now – I kept crying  over people on Twitter begging Chris Evans, the actor who plays Captain America, to save them. I'm cutting ties with people I no longer feel safe around.
> 
> Right now in this story everyone is in a bad place. But they aren't giving up. Zoro is going to continue keeping the Three Swords out of Kaidos way. Sanji and Jinbe are going to keep supporting each other even though they are trapped in hell. And you just KNOW that Luffy is biding his time to kick Big Mom’s ass.
> 
> That's what all of you should be doing. Keep yourselves safe. Support each other, especially those who are the most vulnerable right now. And come the next four Novembers, go kick ass from the voting booth.
> 
> If you are still afraid, know that this country's future, the 18-25 block, would have buried that man in a landslide. Because there is hope in the younger generation.
> 
> That being said, there is a good chance that Chapter Six will be delayed. A lot of us took Tuesday night hard and I am no exception. I have been writing it's just been mostly reactions to this. I do want to get back to stories about a rubber pirate and his friend soon though – I probably need the distraction. I am shooting for early December release – might be sooner we shall see.
> 
> Please be sure to comment or review, and feel free to reach out to me if you just need to talk.
> 
> Dixxy


	7. I'm glad…she’s okay…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin goes into labor.

Knotted  
By Dixxy Mouri   
Chapter Six: I'm glad…she’s okay…

Franky felt like his cola stores had sprung a leak. Robin was in pain, frustration and fear consuming her whole visage, and it sounded like the baby was coming _now._ “Robin . . . you can't be serious!” Of course, Franky knew deep down that she was – Robin wouldn’t joke about something like this – but his brain was clouded by his own disbelief. She was going into labor now – _right now_ – with one of Kaido’s ships actively pursuing them.

               “Is everything okay over here?” Usopp had rushed over to see if Robin was all right, looking her over in worry. He paused, looked at Franky, then back at Robin, and paled. “She's not . . . she can't be . . . not now, right? Right?! Franky, Franky she can’t go into labor right now, she can’t have the baby now, now’s not a good time!” He frantically turned his attention to Robin. “Robin, listen to me, you need to hold-“

               Robin doubled over again and screamed, her hands clutching her swollen stomach as she nearly fell to her knees. By now Chopper was rushing over and Zoro was splitting his attention between the pregnant woman in distress and barking out orders to the rest of the crew as he, too, made his way to the scene. The others were stealing glances their way while rushing around the ship, distracted by the drama ensnaring their arcaheolost.

               “Robin!” Nami cried from the helm.

               “EEEE! THEY’VE SPOTTED US!” Carrot cried out.

               “…oh you have got to be kidding me,” Zoro said, the color draining from his face as he helped Franky get Robin to her feet.

               “…I…think…it's time…” Robin said with a strained voice.

               Usopp started to shriek. “BABY IS COMING!!! BABY IS COMING!!!” He grabbed Carrot by the shoulders as she ran by and shook her, practically screaming in her face. “BABY! IS! COMING!!!”

               This only caused Carrot to start screaming, too. “BABY IS COMING!!! BABY IS COMING!!!”

               Exacerbated, Zoro started yelling at both of them to calm down before things got out of hand – they had a woman going into labor and they were being pursued by an enemy ship. The sniper relaxed enough for him to respond to an order from the captain to man the rigging with Pedro while the doctor approached the parents-to-be. Zoro stepped aside, letting Chopper take the lead.

               “Come on, Robin, let’s get you to the infirmary,” Chopper said as calmly as he could. He turned to Franky for help and the pair escorted her to the infirmary, all the while worried about what was about to go down.

 

                Nami wanted to go to Robin, but in that moment she was needed elsewhere. The Beast Pirates had spotted them and they needed to flee, especially with at least two people pre-occupied with the baby’s delivery, possibly three if Franky stayed with Robin.

               The navigator lowered her eyes. _No. We’re down more people than that…_

Nami swallowed back tears, memories of their failed rescue mission coming back to haunt her. She was angry at Luffy for dying and angry at Sanji for sacrificing himself. But she wanted nothing more than to see them again, to hug her and tell her everything was going to be all right, that their crew wasn’t living this nightmare.

               That they were still Straw Hat Pirates.

               “ _Nami!!! After we get out of this one we need to get ready for our next adventure! And it has to be good because it's the baby’s first one ever, so it needs to be extra awesome!_ ” She could almost see Luffy’s wide grin and hear his laugh before her, but his laugh would never be heard anywhere anymore, and by now his smile had likely faded to dust.

               “ _Nami-san, we still need to have our lunch date, remember? I’ll make you something extra special, just for the two of us_.” Sanji-kun’s absence hurt just as much, but it hurt…different. They'd gotten along so well for those few days on Zou. He was more charming than annoying for once. They'd had a lovely night of just talking, and then…

               …that kiss.

               It made her heart ache whenever she thought about it. It wasn't like they were officially a “thing” but…they could have been. Especially once she saw how well Robin and Franky were getting on. It was good that Robin had someone who made her smile. It was good that Franky had someone calm to keep him grounded. It was nice to see them holding hands or snuggling on the deck, especially as Robin’s belly grew and they both started talking to their unborn child.

               It wasn’t anything that Nami had thought much about before, really. Bellemere got along just fine without a husband, after all, and she suspected Nojiko was following in her footsteps. She always assumed it was an independence thing, but it wasn’t as if Robin had suddenly become a weak flower who relied on Franky for everything, either – oh, certainly she had in more recent months, but that was due to her pregnancy, and while Franky was a concerned, protective partner, he never crossed the line into controlling, either. It was a partnership. They were still themselves. That hadn’t changed.

               Which made her wonder…would that have been her and Sanji-kun?

_Funny, as soon as I can't have you anymore, you-_

               And that was when she sensed it. She could feel it in her bones, even if the blue skies above said nothing. She looked around for Zoro’s position and when her eyes caught onto his figure, she scrambled towards him, shouting about the swiftly approaching danger.

               “Zoro! There's a storm coming!”

 

               “What do you mean I have to leave?!”

               Chopper was eyeing Franky seriously. They'd just gotten Robin comfortable (or at least as comfortable as she was going to be) in the infirmary when the little doctor informed the shipwright he needed to go. “Zoro needs everyone on deck and I'm going to be busy with Robin. We can't use a Coup de Burst to get out of here while she's in labor. That means everyone needs to work together to get everyone out of here.”

               Franky didn't know what to do. How could Chopper just tell him to leave?!

               “I’ll be fine,” Robin said, giving him a reassuring smile. Franky looked at her forlornly as she touched the side of his face affectionately. She had a pained look on her face from the contractions, but she gave him a reassuring smile as she tried to comfort him. “We’ll both be fine. You’ll see our little one once we’re all safe. I promi-ah!” Robin flinched with another contraction. Franky looked at her in alarm as she shooed him away. “Go!”

               _…but I want you to stay..._

               Watching Franky go was painful. She desperately wanted him with her at that moment, but they'd found themselves in a life or death situation. Beast Pirates. A storm. Franky was needed elsewhere to protect her and the baby. She knew she was in good hands with Chopper, but she wanted him there.

               _Please…be safe…_              

 

               The rain was coming down hard and everyone was soaked to the core. Zoro was doing the best he could as a go between, getting the Beast Pirate’s position from Carrot and the condition of the storm and navigational directions from Nami. He had Usopp in the rigging for the moment while Franky and Pedro were managing what they could from the deck.

               If anything happened to _any_ of them they were all screwed. Worse still, Chopper was in the infirmary helping Robin deliver the baby, and Franky was barely keeping it together. As such Zoro ordered him to ensure that they had enough cola ready to make a quick escape if ready – that was something the cyborg would be able to focus on.

               That left himself, Usopp, and Pedro to do most of the actual sailing. Luckily both of them were good sailors, but today something seemed…off…about the jaguar man. He was moving just fine, but there was something in his eyes – an extra sort of determination, a sort of frenzy that, even in their current situation, didn’t feel right. Zoro had to keep his eye on him, too, because even studying him with Color of Observation haki was throwing up a red flag.

               _Pedro…is something going on that you’re not telling us…?_

 

               The Beast Pirates were gaining on them.

               Pedro was pushing himself harder than he ever had before. Why was this so hard today? They’d handled plenty of escapes from the Beast Pirates before, hadn’t they? Was it Robin’s delivery? No, that didn’t seem right, either. It was hard to focus with the haziness in his head, made especially difficult with how much harder he had to concentrate on his sailing with how weak his body felt.

               That was when he _knew_.

               Pedro looked in the general direction of the infirmary, then out towards the Beast Pirates, all of it hard to see through the rain and the darkness of the storm. The timing  of this couldn’t have been worse. _Why today…why today of all days…I need…more…time…!?_

               That was when a bolt of lighting cracked through the sky, illuminating the ship for a split second before a horrible scream rang from the ship’s rigging, and Pedro’s eyes widened as he saw a body tumbling through the ropes.

 

Droplets of rain began to pelt the Thousand Sunny no more than two minutes after Nami shouted her warning to the rest of the crew. Usopp was torn between gratitude at knowing the storm was coming and wishing that he could have had two more minutes of blissful ignorance. The past several months had been exhausting, only made worse by the loss of both Luffy and Sanji in one go.

               The sky began to darken as the clouds rolled in and the rain started to fall harder. Tendrils of Usopp’s tight curls were clinging to his skin as he climbed through the rigging, making sure the sails were positioned where Nami wanted them to get them out of there as fast as possible. But as he worked, his mind was running.

               Usopp was scared for a lot of things. He was scared that Luffy and Sanji were gone. He was scared that Robin was in labor NOW while they were being chased by the Beast Pirates AND a storm had arrived. _Things are only going to get worse…no, no, concentrate on the rigging…concentrate on sailing…!_ He stopped to take a deep breath to try and refocus on what he was doing.

               “THE BEAST PIRATES ARE GETTING CLOSE AND WE CAN’T OUTRUN THEM!” came Carrot’s cries from the crow’s nest. “THEY’RE GAINING ON US TOO FAST! ZORO, WHAT DO WE DO!?”

               “WE’VE GOTTA RISK FIRING THE GAON CANNON AT THE ENEMY SHIP!” Zoro yelled from somewhere below. “NAMI! GET THIS SHIP TURNED AROUND! FRANKY, GET THE COLA READY TO FIRE!” As Franky disappeared below deck to ready the shot, their captain turned his attention up to Usopp’s position. “USOPP! I NEED YOU AT THE GAON CANNON!” Zoro screamed from somewhere down below.

               “GIVE ME A SECOND HERE!” Usopp yelled back.

               The ship bucked from a wave. Usopp barely kept his balance, teetering from his position high above the deck of the ship. He closed his eyes, breathing heavily as he tried to regain his composure. The wood and ropes were digging into his hands, but still felt slippery. He opened his eyes and looked around, scrambling to find a foothold to safety.

               It all happened so fast.

               A boom of thunder disoriented the sniper, and Usopp felt his handhold slip away.

               It was only for a second, but it felt like a horrible, terrifying eternity as his body fell, making its ways to the cruel, unforgiving deck of the ship. But that wasn’t his biggest problem – he could survive a broken leg or a broken arm.

What was scarier where the _ropes_.

If a loose rope wrapped around his neck…well, he wouldn’t need to worry about any broken limbs anymore.

               Usopp let out a scream.

 

               Pedro watched in horror as Usopp fell through the rigging and a single rope pulled taunt with a sickening snap.

               “USOPP!” Nami screamed.

               Time froze for a moment as Usopp’s life hung in the balance.

               It was a relief to see Usopp’s body still swinging and flailing about, the rope having caught him around the ankle, not the neck. He hadn’t hung himself, but he’d probably done some serious damage to that leg. He was screaming in agony, and once Chopper was finished with Robin he’d need to tend to their sniper as soon as possible.

               But more importantly, Zoro had given Usopp orders to man the cannons  - and Usopp was in no position to gun. And that cannon was their only chance at survival. Pedro watched his crewmates, and then stole a glance in the direction of the sick bay where Robin was working just as hard if not TWICE as hard as everyone else.

               _…the little one…they’ll never…no! **I won’t allow it!**_

With the others temporarily working on getting Usopp down, the storm continuing to rage around them, and the Beast Pirates closing in, Pedro wearily made his way the prow.

 

               Using Nami’s guidance, Zoro was able to cut Usopp free while minimally damaging the the integrity of the sails. It was clear his friend was in a lot of pain, but at least he was alive. “I’m okay, I’m okay!” Usopp yelled. He tried to get up but immediately howled in pain – the leg would be useless until Chopper had a chance to treat him.

               “Do we move him!?” asked Carrot.

               “That might hurt him worse!” Nami shot back.

               “Then just leave me here! I’ll be fine!” Usopp yelled.

               Zoro gritted his teeth. _How are we going to get us out of this?!_

 

               Franky had told Pedro how to use the Gaon Cannon only once before. Look into the monitor, get the target in the circles, and fire. Simple enough, they didn’t even technically _need_ Usopp to do this. But, then again, they only had one shot, and they needed to do this quickly.

               Pedro gripped the controls, squinting his one good eye to try and focus. He gritted his teeth, forcing himself to see in focus as he carefully aimed the canon at the enemy ship. Not only did he need to hit his target, he needed to at _least_ damage the ship enough to delay any further pursuit. That would give the Three Swords enough time to escape.

               _We…they…need to find someplace safe for the baby…_

The Beast Pirates were dead center.

               He thought.

               _No one else is coming. I have to risk it…_

Pedro squeezed the handle of the trigger and prayed.

 

               The boat suddenly rocked as, seemingly out of nowhere, the Gaon Cannon was fired. Zoro looked around, trying to figure out who’d fired the shot without his order. Nami and Carrot were crowded around Usopp. Franky was at the helm, though he kept looking back at their group in distress. Robin and Chopper were in the infirmary. Brook was doing his best to sail and not get blown away.

               Pedro was the only one missing.

               _What the hell is he thinking?!_ Zoro was fuming in anger. They only had enough cola for one shot – just volunteering himself to do it without captain’s directions was incredibly risky! The swordsman angrily turned to where the Beast Pirate ship was to formulate a plan B-

_-_ only to discover the ship was basically gone, a mess of slowly sinking splinters and Beast Pirates in life boats.

_That must have been a direct hit,_ Zoro thought to himself. Pedro had crossed a line, certainly, but he’d saved all of their lives. He’d still need to yell at him later but for now they still needed to focus on getting out of the storm.

               _I’ll thank him and put him out to dry later._

 

               Robin was in agony as she continued to strain and push as Chopper gave her words of encouragement. It hurt so bad. How did some women do this two, three, four, or more times?! How the hell did women who had twins or triplets or more handle doing this again and again with no break in between!?

               “I can’t do it… _I CAN’T DO IT!!!_ ”

               “Yes, yes you can! You’re doing great, Robin!”

               “LIAR!”

               “It’s okay, Robin! It’s okay!”

               “ _I HATE YOU! I HATE ALL OF YOU!!!_ ”

               The boat rocked and Robin continued to scream. It hurt _so bad!_ Why was Chopper making her _do this!?_

Robin thought back to the night she and Franky had spent together on Fishman Island. Every touch, every kiss, every laugh, and the gentle embrace they shared in the afterglow. She could see his smile, she could almost feel the touch of his hands on her hips and taste the salt of his favorite cola on her lips.

               _…this is all HIS FAULT!!!_

               “I can see the baby’s head! You're almost there!”

               Robin was already working out the details of Franky’s bloody demise as she continued to push.

               “Just a little more Robin! You can do it!”

               No one would ever find the cyborg’s body. _There wouldn’t be anything **left.**_

               “Just one more push!”

               Robin cried out as she gave that one final push and she felt the pressure subside. She was breathing heavily, panting as she tried to catch her breath…and then she heard her child's cries for the first time. She fell back on the bed, tired and drained, but she was smiling and laughing as tears of joy slipped down her face. She sat up as best she could to watch Chopper gently craddling her baby – _her baby, HER baby!_

“We have a little more we need to do, but I think someone wants to meet their momma!” Chopper handed the crying, squirming baby to Robin, and for a few brief moments the entire world was just the new mother and her little one. The baby was mostly bald, with wisps of cyan hair clinging to their head as they continued to wail. Robin gently rocked her little one, a wide smile on her face.

               “Hello,” she said, laughing and crying as she admired her baby.

               The moment was interrupted as the door to the infirmary flew open, a frantic Franky on the other side. Robin looked at her partner in surprise, her plot to slowly disembowel him with a toothpick abandoned. _We made this baby – together!_ Robin was beaming from ear to ear at her lover, unsure if she’d ever been happier in her entire life. She then gestured for him to step closer to meet their child. Franky sat on the edge of the bed next to her, his hulking form hovering over their little family as he saw the baby for the first time, beaming with pride.

               “Aww, he's so little…” said Franky.

               Chopper laughed. “Actually, she's a girl.”

               Franky immediately burst into tears. “SHE’S SO PERFECT!!!”

               Robin bloomed an arm to comfort her lover, taking a moment to enjoy their new little family.

After giving Franky and Robin some alone time with the new baby and tending to Usopp’s injured leg, Chopper asked if they were ready for visitors. The couple exchanged a quick look before nodding enthusiastically, and the little reindeer went to fetch the rest of the crew, who were waiting anxiously in the galley. Chopper didn’t even get the chance to formally invite them – his smile was all they needed, and most of the group rushed out, nearly trampling the doctor in their rush to the infirmary. Chopper helped Usopp limp to the sick bay, and Pedro kept a slow pace behind them.

               Usopp looked at the minkman, who seemed a bit sluggish. “Are you okay, Pedro?”

               The jaguar man forced a smile. “I’m doing better than you, Lefty. Let’s go see the baby.”

               Chopper sensed that Pedro was lying – something was _definitely_ wrong – but if he was going to help him he had to get him to the sick bay, and since they were going there anyways there wasn’t much else he could do. He kept an eye on him, wondering what was wrong.

               Robin and the baby had both been cleaned up after the delivery. The new mother had her hair in a bun and was relaxing in comfy lavender pajamas, while the baby was sleeping in her arms, dressed in a soft pink onesie and a tiny white knit cap. Franky was practically drunk on happiness, proudly hovering over both of them while the crew made a fuss over the baby.

               Nami leaned over. “Aww she’s so cute!”

               “Ooo, I could just eat her up!” Carrot said, pulling on her ears.

               “…eh, it’s a baby,” Zoro said, trying to pretend he wasn’t delighted by the newborn.

               The baby woke up a little and started squirming.

               “You guys did a good job,” Usopp said, smiling as much as he could. However, his visage was still wracked with pain from his injury as Chopper helped him into his seat. He relaxed a little once he was seated and able to compose himself. “Chopper said she was a baby girl, right? Have you two decided on a name yet?”

               Franky was beaming. “Nico Francesca Olivia 40 Jr.!”

               “. . . 40?” Zoro asked dryly, the smirk gone from his face as he realized he hadn’t suddenly gone deaf and that this terrible name was what his friends were planning on naming the baby. The grin on the proud father’s face told him everything he needed – the length, the number, the fact that she was a girl and that they’d tacked on a _junior_ even though she was a girl and Franky really wasn’t a _senior_ in that sense of the word…what the hell were those two thinking!? “Really? Franky, she's a baby, not a ship or a robot! Also, she’s a girl, you can’t put a ‘junior’ on a girl name…can you? And-”

               “Well, she _is_ one of his creations,” said Robin. “And I think the junior is cute.”

               “YOU’RE ON BOARD WITH THIS?!” Usopp shouted.

               Robin only smiled back knowingly before looking at her daughter again, ignoring the sniper’s comment. Nico Francesca Olivia 40 Jr. cooed happily.

               Pedro smiled from his position by the door frame, where he was barely keeping himself up, laughing to himself as he started to close his eye. He’d gotten a good glimpse at the baby, and that was enough for him. Whether he liked it or not, that would _have_ to be enough. “She's a little doll, isn't…she…precious…” His body was starting to sway uneasily as he staggered backwards.

               “Pedro?” Chopper asked with concern.

               “I'm glad…she’s okay...Fr…n…”

               Nami’s eyes widened in horror. “PEDRO!”

               “…cesca…”

               The jaguar man slumped against the wall and slid to the floor, his body limp and lifeless as Chopper and the others rushed to his side, calling his name. The baby started to cry, Robin trying to soothe her child while she looked toward her fallen crewmate in fear, Franky doing his best to try and protect them both.

               It didn’t matter. Pedro was gone before anyone even reached him.

 

               Zoro found a letter from Pedro to the rest of the crew the following morning. He was dying even before he left with Luffy to try and recover Sanji, a victim of Big Mom’s Soul Soul Fruit powers several years earlier. He wasn't sure how much time he had left but didn't think it would be much longer, and he left the letter among his things for the crew as an explanation for what he imagined would be a sudden, seemingly unexplainable demise.

               There was no grave. Frankly built a small wooden boat just big enough for the jaguar man’s body and some flowers from Robin’s garden. They lowered it into the sea, Nami and Carrot consoling each other in grief as Usopp shot it with a flame star. The crew watched sadly as they were forced to say good-bye to a third crewmate in less than a year.

               Pedro’s truest lasting memorial was the baby girl he'd fought so hard to save, little Nico Francesca Olivia 40 Jr. Although her parents kept the name they'd chosen as her “real” name, it wasn't long before the crew adopted what was Pedro’s last word as her new nickname:

               Cheska.

 

_Two months later, Whole Cake Island_

 

               It was about four in the morning, and Sanji woke up unexpectedly.

               It was still dark outside, and he could barely see what was in their bedroom. Pudding was still fast asleep – she was facing his side of the bed, and Sanji gently put a hand on her now extremely swollen stomach. His wife was just on the cusp of week forty, which meant that it wouldn't be much longer before she went into labor. He felt a strong kick and breathed a sigh of relief – the baby was still doing well, they just hadn’t decided to come out yet. _Any day now,_ he thought to himself.

               Sanji removed himself from the bed and headed towards the master bathroom. The baby was almost here, and he was terrified. Even with all the headway he and Jinbe had made these past few months (at least before the fishman had been sent away on an extended mission a couple of weeks ago), Sanji was still uncertain and nervous. Even though he was a married man, he just _knew_ he was going to be, on some levels, a single father.

               Not that he had anything against single parents – he himself had been raised by Zeff alone. But it was going to be a tough road, even more so than subjecting himself to this sham of a marriage he was living in. Now someone else was in danger of suffering right alongside him.

               Pudding had barely taken interest in most of what he’d accomplished. Oh, she liked the things Jinbe had picked out for the nursery and had even brought home a cupcake themed mobile for the crib (Sanji had also gotten his hands on a fruit themed one – he wondered if he’d be able to rotate them or not) but she hadn’t actually looked any of the important things over in detail. He’d tried to encourage her to read his parenting books, but he’d never seen her crack any of them open.

               Sanji splashed some cold water on his face. He hadn’t slept well for the past week or so, knowing that the baby was just about due. The official due date was in two days, but one of his parenting books said that it could be several days before or a few days after – too far outside of that window was dangerous, but right now they were sitting in a relative “safe” spot. He looked at himself in the mirror – he had dark circles under his eyes and he felt like he was carrying the weight of the world. He'd never felt so tired before.

               _It’s only going to get worse, Sanji – babies don’t like to sleep through the night. And like hell is Pudding going to get up when the baby needs one of us - it's just going to be you when the baby really needs someone._ Sanji lowered his head, leaning against the vanity. He should really try getting back to bed for a little more sleep. He didn’t know when the big day was coming, after all, and he needed to be ready for the moment when-

               “Sa . . . Sanji darling . . .”

               Sanji lifted his head and stepped outside of the bathroom. Pudding had gotten up and was holding her stomach, a pained expression on her face and a puddle on the floor between her feet. “Are…are you okay?” Sanji asked in a stupor. It was a dumb question. He already knew what was happening, and he felt like his insides were going to tear themselves to shreds.

               “I think my water broke . . .”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes
> 
> Hoo-boy did the manga do a lot since my last update.
> 
> One thing the manga did that I did not plan for was give the poor jaguar man a time limit, so unfortunately Pedro had to die. Did not think I'd ever be in a situation were the canon would make me do something like that in a fanfic. While it is possible he lives in canon thanks to Luffy and whatever they end up doing that probably didn't happen in this timeline.
> 
> As for Pudding…look guys it’s been a roller coaster since 848 and 850, I don’t fucking know anymore, either. I’m just TIRED of the flip-flopping. Also? All of the fan caterwalling about “WAH WHY AREN’T WE AT WANO I WANNA START WANO” is annoying the crap out of me because I remember when it was “OMG I CAN’T WAIT FOR FISHMAN ISLAND” and we all know how that turned out.
> 
> As far as I’m concerned, Oda and his editor saying we’d reach Reverie AND Wano this year was a mistake, partly because it’s given the fanboys expectations and partly because, if it weren’t for the events of the most recent chapter, it was starting to look like Oda was rushing the climax of this arc and there are still WAAAAAY too many things that need to be addressed before they can exit the arc and head to Wano (or Reverie if something forces them to take a detour). Like the introduction of stuff like Brulee having an armor of 10,000 people in the mirror world and Edgelord McMochi Man on the Thousand Sunny definitely need to be dealt with somehow. It just feels like this means the arc is going to get a chance to breathe a bit so we can have some more stuff explained.
> 
> So yes I realize this took a while to get this out and there was a lot going on – I’m not very good at action scenes so it was a struggle to get this out, it is exhausting trying to keep up with the nonsense coming out of Washington D.C. right now, Persona 5 came out and was AWESOME (…Makoto is best girl FIGHT ME) and my personal life has, of course, had its own challenges to overcome.
> 
> And finally, we should be back to our regular schedule for at least a little while as the next two chapters are more or less on track, it was just this specific chapter that was giving me a hard time. I MIGHT go to three weeks instead of two but I’m undecided.
> 
> Anyways, until next time!
> 
> Dixxy


	8. Hey There, Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Franky briefly questions their former cook's motivations. Sanji welcomes his daughter into the world.

Knotted  
By Dixxy Mouri  
Chapter Seven: Hey There, Beautiful

               “ _WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_!”

               Franky groggily raised his head as the sound of his daughter shrieking roused him from his slumber. He yawned and sat up, only to see a pair of arms had bloomed near the baby’s crib in the room he and Robin now shared (which was half of the what used to be the girl’s room). He turned to Robin, smiled, and gently patted her should. “Don’t worry, it’s my turn,” he said. “You get some rest, okay?” Robin stared at him blankly for a minute before falling back into bed, probably asleep before she even hit the mattress or her limbs poofed out of existence in a puff of flower petals. Franky patted his lover’s head gently before getting out of bed to attend to little Cheska.

               Switching to his smaller hands, Franky gently lifted his daughter out of her crib. “Aww, it’s okay, Cheska, you don’t have to cry, your daddy’s here and he’s going to take super care of you.” Cheska continued to scream as Franky gently held her to his chest. There was no telling what had awoken her, but he did check the port hole to make sure that it hadn’t been another surprise attack from the Beast Pirates.

               Cheska was finally starting to calm down, but was babbling and smiling, making it very clear that she had no intention of going back to sleep. Even if she was calmer now, she’d go back to screaming the minute Franky put her down. He’d need to wait for her to at least get sleepy again before he could go back to bed.

               The last two months with the baby had been a challenge, but everyone helped out where the could. Of course he and Robin did most of the work, but it wasn’t unusual for one of the others to spend time with her, too. Usopp liked to tell her stories, although Cheska usually fell asleep part way through. She was _fascinated_ with Chopper’s antlers and would probably try to grab at them all the time once she was old enough to have the proper motor skills. Carrot would likely have a similar problem with her ears, though it was hard to say if the mink would be bothered by this or not. Nami would sometimes make it rain while watching the baby and working on her maps, and the sound of rain outside would calm a crying baby down. Zoro pretended he wasn’t interested in her but it wasn’t unusual to find him sleeping in a shady spot out on the deck with Cheska on his chest, drooling on his shirt. Brook would regularly play soft lullabies for her on his violin.

               Robin loved to bring the baby with her into her garden. She loved to show her daughter all of the flowers, and although she probably wasn’t old enough to understand, yet, Franky was certain Cheska enjoyed being doted on by her mother. Sometimes they’d just be there, the baby in her arms as they spent some quiet time together, or she’d be in a bassinet, being gently rocked by the waves while Robin tended to the flowers, using her ability to ensure the baby was well-watched and taken care of.

               Franky knew Cheska was _way_ too little to go into his workshop, so he’d made a swinging bench recently and liked to sit on it with his daughter, gently rocking them back and fourth with his foot. She seemed to like it, and he brought here there every chance he could. He imagined that when she was older he’d be able to push her on the swing or catch her when she got to the bottom of the slide. For now, this was the most excitement she was able to get, and that was fine.

               Cheska finally started to nod off and Franky laid her down in her crib. She was asleep soon enough, and he smiled at her. “Good night…for now,” he said with a chuckle. Hopefully she’d let him and Robin sleep through the night eventually, but for now they took turns with getting up in the middle of the night for her so the other could sleep, with one of the others stepping in once a week to give them both a chance to recharge.

               It was good that they had the other Straw Ha – no, _Three Swords,_ he reminded himself – around to help with Cheska, so raising the baby was going to be a team effort. It took a village to raise a child, after all, and at least his little girl was surrounded by good people. Running from that monster Kaido and his crew or not, at least they all still had each other.

               Even if there should have been two more people helping out. The thought of it made his blood boil.

               True, Sanji didn’t know Cheska even existed, but it was still his fault that he and Robin had to try and raise their daughter while on the run from the Beast Pirates. If he had any children with that triclops he’d married, they would probably have all sorts of nursemaids and other kinds of help to raise those children. Hell, Sanji probably didn’t even need to help out at all– he probably got to screw the pretty girl while he was home without worrying if she got knocked up or not and then go off on whatever jobs Big Mom had for him. If he was selfish enough to do what he did, he’d be selfish enough to do that as well. Undoubtedly, Sanji would going to be an _awful_ father.

               Although…last time someone saw it, Sanji’s wanted poster hadn’t changed much. The “alive only” was gone (likely because Germa Kingdom was no longer a part of the World Government) but the bounty hadn’t changed. That was odd. He was a member of Big Mom’s crew now, right? That should have prompted a bounty increase.

               Luffy’s poster remained unchanged, though Franky imagined it wouldn’t be much longer before there was a big red “X” over his smiling face once the World Government caught wind of what had happened.

               Either way, Franky didn’t want to pay him any more mind, as it was a sore spot for him and Robin. They tried not to bring it up since it usually sparked a fight, and it was not a fight worth having over, and over, and over again, especially now that they had Cheska to care for. Either he was right and Sanji had decided to screw them all over for status and sex, or Robin was right and…

               Franky paused, thinking back to what the cook had been like while he was he was still their cook, and how different that person was from the man who’d said his “good-byes” to Brook and the others in the aftermath of Luffy’s death. It didn’t even sound like the same man. Sure, Sanji could be a surly asshole from time to time, but he was never cruel. He ran a tight kitchen because he didn’t want any of them to starve. He fought with Zoro, but there was still a mutual respect between the two that probably accounted for Zoro’s refusal to officially take a side – he still respected their rivalry too much.

               It just…didn’t make sense.

               Franky shoved those thoughts to the back of his mind. Even if he was wrong and Robin was right, it was far too late now. He turned his attention to his now sleeping daughter and sighed. Even if Robin was right, it didn’t change the situation their daughter was in now, either. Resources were tight, they had no where to hide, and there was only so long he and Robin would be able to shelter her from the world she’d been brought into.

               But if nothing else, she had a lot of aunts and uncles who loved her, and two loving parents who would do anything for her.

 

               Much to his surprise, Sanji got to stay for the delivery. He had always thought that when a mother was about to go into labor, the father was usually kicked out of the delivery room and not allowed to see the baby for hours if not _days_. But, for once, he was grateful Pudding was as clingy as she was, because she demanded he be allowed to stay so she could hold his hand. So, after retrieving a chair from the hallway and helping the doctor get her comfortable on the bed (or at least as comfortable as she could be), he took a seat by her side and let her hold his hand while he waited for the birth of their baby.

               It wasn’t a gesture he was comfortable with considering her usual treatment of his hands, but like everything else he didn’t really have much of a say in the matter. Pudding wanted his comfort, so he was going to give it to her whether he liked it or not. Besides, he was anxious to see their baby.

               Sanji’s stomach had been tied up in knots for days, but now it was even worse with his wife in active labor. It had been a full five hours since he’d made the call to Pudding’s doctor, and even though the man had arrived promptly and kept assuring him things were going smoothly, he was getting nervous. According to his book, labor could easily last several hours, sometimes more than a whole day – it really depended on the pregnancy, apparently, though first time mothers tended to have longer deliveries. Either way, every so often his wife screamed, squeezed his hand, and the doctor told her she was doing a good job.

               Pudding was a mess – she was drenched in sweat, her face red from the strain of each and every push. Her voice was hoarse from screaming, and part of Sanji felt a twinge of guilt for having been at least partially responsible for doing this to her, even if he didn’t have much of a choice in the baby’s conception and didn’t really like her.

               “I…I want this _thing_ OUT!” she screamed.

               Sanji wanted to snap back but held his tongue. On the one hand, child birth looked really difficult and painful, and despite all of the things he’d put his own body through this was the one thing he’d never be able to relate to. On the other hand…did she _really_ just call their baby a “ _thing_ ”?! And in that tone of voice?!

               The doctor gave him a sympathetic look.

               Pudding’s screams were getting closer and closer together now, and the doctor said it wouldn’t be much longer. Sanji felt a little dizzy. He wasn’t sure if it was nerves or a lack of sleep, but it was probably both. _Am I really ready to do this? Did I get everything on the list? What if the book forgot something really important or something in the book was just wrong? What if I’m just not good at this?_

_What if…_

_What if…_

_What if…what if…what if….what if, what if, what if, what if what if what if what if what if what if whatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatif-_

Sanji’s heart was ready to bust out of his chest.

               The doctor said the baby was starting to crown.

               Pudding continued to scream.

               Sanji clenched his eyes shut. _I’m not ready for this…oh God I’m really not ready for this at all…I’m not ready for this…I can’t even protect myself right now, how am I supposed to take care of a baby?! I’m going to be a terrible father… I’m not cut out for this…I’m going to screw this kid up so bad…I can’t do this…I can’t…I can’t…I can’t…_

_Mom…_

_Zeff..._

**_…what the hell am I supposed to do!?_ **

               The sounds of a baby’s cries broke through the air.

               Pudding fell back onto their bed, exhausted and breathing heavily. Sanji was staring at the doctor, who was holding a wriggling, wet, and screaming little creature. He couldn’t see the baby’s face, but he saw that the various…“bodily fluids” that had come out with the baby were sticking to a head of butterscotch blonde hair, and Sanji felt his heart start to melt.

               _Blonde hair…just like me…the baby has my hair?_

               Sanji hadn’t put much thought into what the baby was going to look like before that moment. Sure, the baby had been occupying his thoughts since Pudding told him she had “good news” but he’d never actually envisioned his child before. But…well, yeah, now that he thought about it _of course_ the baby probably was going to bear at least SOME passing resemblance to him.

               For the first time since he’d been kidnapped, Sanji felt himself smile – really, truly smile.

               _I’m…really a father…_

The concept still felt heavy, but not as burdensome as he’d imagined it was going to be. Nothing else in that room seemed to matter except for the crying infant, and he watched the doctor cut the cord and tie it neatly in place. He still hadn’t had a good look at his child, and despite how _badly_ he wanted to see them he was afraid to get too close. He wasn’t sure what to _do_ , exactly. The doctor was probably going to let Pudding hold the baby first and she’d probably monopolize their little one’s attention, and that made Sanji’s heart sink.

               _...right. She’s the mother._

               The doctor smiled at his wife after swaddling the baby, confirming his suspiscions. In many ways, he was really just here as a glorified sperm donor in the eyes of the Big Mom Pirates. He closed his eyes, nervous that Pudding was going to prevent him from having a good relationship with the baby despite how much time he’d spent preparing for the baby and how little she’d done in return. “You did a good job, Pudding. Now, would you like to hold your-“

               Pudding waved her hand at the doctor, shooing him and the baby away. “-can’t. Tired.”

               Sanji wasn’t sure if he held back a scowl because he was so shocked at what his wife had just said or because he was so angry at the sentiment his brain was failing to properly process it. How the _fuck_ did she not want to hold their newborn!? You _know what? Fine. You just pushed a human being out of your body. Take a knee._

The doctor was a bit bewildered, but adjusted his glasses as he tried to compose himself. “…all right, although I must advise you we do have a little more work to do here but…I suppose that’s a bit unorthodox…well, all right.” He turned to Sanji, an exasperated look on his face. “Sanji, would you like to hold your daughter while I finish up here?”

               Sanji’s eyes widened. It was presented to him so casually, but it was life-altering. His _daughter –_ the baby was a _girl_. _I…have a little girl?_ He nodded along dumbly, getting to his feet and holding out his arms – he was shaking, terrified but eager, and he saw the doctor’s expression soften a little. His annoyance was gone, immediately replaced with the kind patience of a healer and, in this instance, a teacher. The doctor gently gave him some brief instructions on posture and positioning as he gently passed the newborn into her father’s arms. She was squirming and crying from her blanket, lively and kicking. Sanji gently moved aside the blanket covering his child’s face.

               Sanji had never fallen so deeply in love with a girl before…or been so surprised by one.

               _I guess it doesn’t matter. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on,_ he thought to himself. She had his hair, his eyebrows (both swirling the same direction his did, thankfully), and his nose. She had much of her mother’s face, though it would probably be a while before they knew just how much she was going to look like the woman…except for her eyes.

               …all three of them.

               The baby’s eyes weren’t actually open yet, so it was possible she just had his eyes plus an extra, but the presence of the third eye at all had to come from Pudding, not him. Sanji didn’t really care – oh, sure he was still a little shocked to see his daughter had three eyes, but he still didn’t actually _care_ about that. He couldn’t stop smiling, gently touching her cheek and hoping this moment could last forever.

               “Hey there, beautiful,” he said softly. “I’m your daddy.”

               It wasn’t the most clever or profound thing he could have said at that moment, but again, he just didn’t _care_. She was tiny and she was perfect and she was _his_ and that was all that mattered. She started making more baby noises at him and he kept smiling, barely aware that the doctor was asking for the baby back so he could properly wash her.

               Sanji paused – he didn’t want to give the baby back, he’d _just_ gotten her. He looked at the doctor in disdain, who just gave him a friendly smile and asked if he’d like to help give the baby a bath. He looked the baby over and realized that she was still…soiled…from the other stuff (whatever it was called) that had come out of his wife.

               “…okay, yeah, let’s get you in the bathroom,” Sanji said. The doctor gave him a knowing grin and motioned for Sanji to follow him into the ensuite.

               She was so little, so fragile . . . she had a chubby little tummy and tiny little fingers and toes. The new father was afraid he might accidentally hurt her, but the doctor assured him he was doing a good job (and this time he believed him). The baby was squirming and flailing and crying, unhappy with her bath.

               “It’s okay, it's okay…” Sanji said soothingly.

               At one point during her bath she managed to wrap her hand around his pinky and Sanji almost started crying. This baby was _incredible_! She had such a strong grip already, and her holding his finger like that was damn near the best thing ever. “I’m here, I’m here, we’re almost done…” he said as calmly as he could.

               Once she was cleaned, the doctor helped Sanji re-swaddle her in a clean blanket – pink and dotted with cupcakes. He picked her up again and felt his stomach sinks. It wasn’t until she was back in his arms that Sanji realized how empty they’d felt during her bath.

               As they wandered back into the master bedroom, the doctor posed a very important question to Sanji that he had somehow not put any thought into. “Have you and your wife decided on a name yet?” he asked innocently. The cook paused to think about this. _There’s…so many good names…Collette…Cosette…Marie…Juliette…Yvette…Sofia…oh! I know! I should name her Sora, after Mom! It's a really-_

“Well, since she’s a girl, her name is going to be _Tapioca_.”

               Pudding was sitting up in their bed, still looking very tired from the delivery but pleased with herself for coming up with the idea. Sanji held his tongue. **_Of course_** _you chose a kind of pudding._ She had a smile on her face that clearly showed she was committed to this name and if Sanji tried to argue with her about it, well…he sighed heavily. _I guess the baby’s name is…Vinsmoke-Charlotte Tapioca._ The doctor gave Sanji a sympathetic, knowing look – Sanji subtly shook his head, giving up the fight before it had even begun. He hated the name – every single part of it – but there wasn’t much he could do. Maybe Pudding would let him choose a middle name for her. He doubted it, but it might be something.

               Tapioca-chan settled into her father’s arms for a nap, and Sanji decided that, in the end, it was okay. Even if she wasn’t as safe as she could be, she certainly looked like she _felt_ safe and in that moment that was all he needed. _It doesn’t matter what your name is, I love you anyways, Tapioca-chan._ Sanji gently lowered his head and lifted her face close to his so he could kiss her cheek.

 

               Pudding slept most of the day, leaving Sanji to care for the baby. The doctor stayed around to help and make sure the new father had the basics down before leaving in the early afternoon, and for a while it was just father and daughter. Sanji held Tapioca-chan for most of the day, not wanting to put her down for a second. He just carried her around the house, cooing happily at her when she was awake and grinning like a fool when she cooed back at him. When she was asleep he sat down with her in the rocking chair in the nursery, gently rocking them back and forth with his foot.

               For a few hours, Sanji didn't think about his predicament. He didn't think about the Vinsmokes or Big Mom or Zeff or Luffy or the Straw Hats or even Pudding. All that mattered was his little Tapioca-chan. He soothed her when she cried. He gently rocked her when she slept. He gave her a bottle when she needed it, a concept that took a few tries for her to pick up on before she finally latched onto the rubber nipple and drank her formula happily. He changed her several times, getting himself peed on during one such occasion – it didn't bother him. He finished changing her before changing into a clean shirt and went right back to fussing over her.

               For those precious few hours, she was his entire world.

               Pudding didn’t even ask to hold Tapioca-chan until later that evening, at which point Sanji reluctantly gave her up. Maybe this would be the start of him being on the back burner, now that Pudding wasn’t as tired from the delivery as she had been. “Well hello there, my sweet little _princess_!” his wife said giddily, reaching out for their daughter like a spoiled child on her birthday.

               Sanji rolled his eyes once Pudding’s choice of pet name hit him. Technically, she wasn’t exactly _wrong_ – Tapioca-chan _was_ a princess of Germa Kingdom: Her Royal Highness Vinsmoke-Charlotte Tapioca, Princess of East Germa Kingdom. But Sanji didn’t think the baby was going to be in for a life of luxury or anywhere meaningful in the line of succession (Sanji didn’t even think he was in line for the throne anymore – not that he wanted it to begin with) so his wife’s fixation on the title was a little stupid in his opinion.

               “Oh, eww, eww, she pooped, ew!!!”

               Pudding had made a face and was looking to Sanji to take Tapioca-chan away. He quickly took the baby from his wife, who was now making a gagging noise. _She’s a_ baby _– of course she’d going to poop and pee, you stupid ignorant twit…UGH!_ Angry, but in control of himself well enough to know that now was a bad time for a confrontation, Sanji simply said he'd take care of it and carried her out of the master bedroom.

Well, he was wrong about Pudding trying to monopolize the baby’s time – it looked like he _was_ going to be Tapioca-chan’s primary caretaker after all, at least for the first few years. As he entered the nursery and started changing the baby, Sanji supposed this meant it was a good thing that being in the “Auxillary Reserve Guard” meant he didn’t really need to leave the house, so he could focus his time and energy on his little girl. Well, that was fine with him – if Pudding was going to turn her nose at diaper duty, it was good that at least their daughter had _one_ parent who would be there for her.

               _Parent…_ Sanji didn’t think he’d be one of those, at least not for a long time. He’d wanted to spend his teenage years and twenties getting laid and going on adventures, and then maybe after finding the All Blue he’d settle down (preferably with a certain tangerine haired goddess) and maybe then he’d think about having a family. But other plans had been decided for him, and at twenty-two was married to a woman he couldn't stand, his beloved Nami-san probably hated him, and he had an infant who needed him.     

               As he finished cleaning up his daughter and dressed her in a fresh, clean diaper, he picked her back up and settled down in the nursery rocking chair, gently moving them back and forth. Tapioca starting to make an upset noise, and Sanji tried to shush her. She started to cry, and his heart started to break. His other methods of calming her down weren't working this time and he wasn't sure what to do.

               _What’s wrong? Are you hungry? No, I just fed you, and I_ literally _just changed you . . . are you tired? Do you need to take a nap?_ Sanji decided maybe she was tired, and continued to gently rock her. _How do I get you to take a nap? Or I guess since it’s kind of late for you just go right to sleep?_

_Maybe…a lullaby?_

Sanji didn’t know any lullabies. But one song did come to mind.

               “ _Yo ho ho ho, yo ho ho ho . . . yo ho ho ho, yo ho ho ho . . ._ ”

               Sanji was not a musician. He didn’t know how to sing like Brook could, but he remembered how much joy and happiness everyone had felt in the aftermath of the fight with Moria on Thriller Bark. It wasn’t truly a lullaby, but it was the only thing he could think of in that moment to try and calm his infant daughter.

               “ _Gather up all of the crew...it’s time to ship out Bink’s Brew...Sea winds blow, to where who knows the waves will be our guide...”_ he sang. Tapioca continued to cry, but she seemed to be getting a little quieter. Maybe. _“Over across the ocean_ _’s tide...rays of sunshine far and wide...birds they sing...of cheerful things...in circles passing by...”_

               Images of Brook’s face filled his head, and the last words he ever heard the skeleton screaming at him flooded his head. Sanji swallowed, fighting back tears. “ _Bid farewell to weaver's town...say so long to port renowned...sing a song, it won't be long, before we're casting off...Cross the gold and silver seas…a salty spray puts us at ease..day and night, to our delight, the voyage never ends…_ ”

               “ _Gather up all of the crew, it's time to ship out Binks' brew…Pirates, we eternally are challenging the sea...With the waves to rest our heads, ship beneath us as our beds, hoisted high upon the mast, our jolly roger flies…_ ”

               It was all making him so homesick for the Thousand Sunny.

               “ _Somewhere in the endless sky...stormy winds are blowing by, waves are dancing, evening comes, it's time to sound the drums...but steady men, and never fear, tomorrow's skies are always clear…so pound your feet and clap your hands 'til sunny days return…_ ”

               And somehow…he still missed Nami-san most of all. But the happy life he’d wanted to build with her would never be. He looked at Tapioca-chan and frowned, knowing in his heart that while he loved her so very much just the way she was, he knew she’d been born to the wrong mother. _She would have protected you from everything…she would have loved you so much better…she’d have been the best mother you could have asked for…_

_“Gather up all of the crew...it’s time to ship out Bink’s Brew...sing a song and play along for all the oceans wide...”_ By now Sanji was sobbing as he sang. He missed his crew, he missed the sea, and as much as he loved the tiny little girl in his arms, he was still afraid. For himself, sure, but how was he supposed to take care of his little Tapioca _here_ of all places?

_“After all is said and done, you’ll...”_ Sanji paused for a moment, second guessing the next lyric to the song – he didn’t want to think of his daughter as a skeleton, not after he’d _just_ gotten her. So he stuttered through a bit of improv. “ _After all is said and done...you’ll…um…always be my... honey bun…”_

_…I guess that works…_

_“...so spread your tale...from dawn ‘til dusk...upon these foamy seas…”_

Sanji swallowed, trying to get through the next few lyrics, when he felt little Tapioca shift in his arms. She was finally asleep again, but the weight of his situation was starting to crush him again. He loved this baby in his arms so much, but he was TERRIFIED.

               Sanji decided that as much as it hurt, as much as he wished this baby had bright orange hair and Nami-san’s smile…he was okay with that. It wasn't ideal, not by a long shot, but he'd already survived for nine months in this awful place, now he just needed to do that with his daughter in tow.

               It would be tough doing this alone. Under other circumstances the Straw Hats would have helped him, he was certain. But as he imagined all of his old friends playing with little Tapioca-chan, he felt tears slide down his face. He choked back a sob at the thought of Zeff never even meeting his first granddaughter. He thought about how thrilled Luffy would have been to play with a “new crewmate”. He didn’t even want to think about Nami-san, who should have been…

               Sanji shoved the thought out of his head.

               None of those things would come to pass. He couldn’t even be sure Tapiopa-chan would be spared by his former friends if they knew she was his daughter. Sure Jinbe was around sometimes, but it wasn't the same.

_All alone. Just me._

Despite dozens upon dozens of aunts and uncles and cousins around her, baby Tapioca-chan really only had her father to rely on.   

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes
> 
> Yes, I used “Bink’s Sake/Bink’s Brew”, and I opted to go with the Funimation translation for the dub as it goes better the melody than the ViZ version or other translations. I took a slight liberty with Sanji’s last section (his daughter was just born he’s not going to talk about her being dead) and I cut out some of the “yo ho ho hos” but otherwise the lyrics are a match to the Funimation dub.
> 
> Anyone who’s read “Tea Party” (which is a sort of “soft” prequel to this story) may have noticed I haven’t started using the names “Tap” or “Tap-chan” yet. This is intentional.
> 
> Lastly, yes, this took a while. I decided to cut a scene but then had to intergrate parts of it back into the story (it was really dumb and cheesy and made no sense). And, again, my head has not been in a great place since the election so the drive to sit down and write or make art has not been as strong as it should be. Hoping things improve this year. Hopefully.
> 
> See you next time!
> 
> Dixxy


	9. You Know...Make It Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji deals with his one-year wedding anniversary. Zoro questions whether or not the cook could have betrayed the crew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note
> 
> Planning, writing, and posting for Knotted started back during July of 2016, roughly a year and a half before we found out that Pudding is most likely about 16-17 years old, though there is a SLIGHT possibility she’s 18 (as in she JUST turned eighteen and the decutuplets are on the cusp of their 19th birthday). Prior to this I assumed that she was somewhere between the ages of 18-20. 
> 
> As such, for the purpose of this AU fanfic, Pudding was 19 when she married Sanji and 20 during the chapter being posted today. 
> 
> Thank you.  
> Dixxy

 

               It was their one-year wedding anniversary – the one-year anniversary of the worst day of his life – and Sanji wasn’t even sure Pudding remembered. Then again, he was kind of amazed he’d remembered with how foggy his brain had been. Sleep wasn’t much of a “thing” for him for the last three months – some days he could barely keep his own name straight.

               Sanji knew that babies didn’t sleep through the night prior to the birth of his daughter, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as he thought it would be.

               _It was **worse**. _

               Tapioca-chan didn’t just wake up once a night – two, three, four, five times a night his sleep would be shattered by the screaming coming from the nursery, amplified by his haki. He couldn’t just _hear_ his daughter’s fear and hunger and confusion, he could _feel_ it. So, as such, he was perpetually exhausted. He suspected he was getting maybe two hours of sleep a night – four was a _luxury_ – and he felt like the walking dead whenever he was awake, barely able to stand up straight sometimes.

               Pudding had started sleeping with ear plugs by Night Two.

               The most help he got from her was inadvertent – Pudding’s tea parties were a good opportunity to catch up on, for example, Tapioca’s laundry or the housework or even just a taking power nap (although Sanji had also quickly learned that Tapioca-chan’s naptime = Sanji’s naptime). Sometimes she fed the baby. After _two months_ and a tongue lashing from Best Sister-in-Law Praline (that mermaid gave zero fucks when it came to putting her little sisters in their place) Pudding _sometimes_ helped with diaper changing. Still, it wasn’t enough, and it might have been nice to get some other help from her. Instead she’d fuck off to her chocolate shop (which, to be fair, meant that money was coming back into the house since Sanji wasn’t allowed anything but his shitty allowance for being part of the stupid Auxillary Reserve Guard) or go visit one of her sisters or something. 

               Hell, he’d started seeing things at one point. This was discovered by a sister-in-law named Lina, someone who Sanji barely registered as one of the guests at the baby shower, but not a frequent visitor otherwise. She discovered him having an incoherent conversation with a houseplant (something he truly didn’t remember doing after the fact). After finding out he hadn’t slept in about 72 hours, she ordered him to take a nap on the couch while she watched Tapioca-chan for a few hours.

               (Sanji was confused about her kindness until he saw the gold, blinking anklets resting just above her shoes and realized he’d recognized her from a traveling ballet company’s promotional posters – the company had fallen apart several years ago when their prima ballerina disappeared under mysterious circumstances, and now Sanji knew what happened. As her husband came to collect her, she glanced at his wristlets sadly and gave him a sympathetic frown.)

               It had started off as a typical enough morning in the Vinsmoke-Charlotte household. After getting up no less than three times the night before to take care of the baby, Sanji was up for the day around five and was on his second pot of coffee by six, grumpily wishing he had a pack of cigarettes instead. Pudding was up around eight to read the morning paper while he made breakfast, occasionally babbling on to him about something her mother had done that he didn’t care about or outright hated. Then, several of his sisters-in-laws (these ones all born into the Charlotte family) showed up out of the blue, and before he even had time to comprehend what was going on, Pudding was on her way out the door, saying she’d be back later that evening, and then all was quiet in the house, Sanji feeling more than a little put-out that his wife hadn’t even acknowledged the food he was making. He’d honestly expected Pudding would have dragged him out for the day to do something she probably thought was “romantic” so having the day to himself, while not unusual, was surprising for today of all days.

               _Well, fuck you, too, **darling** ,_ _at least you’re staying out of my way if you’re not going to help me!_ Sanji thought to himself bitterly. He sighed, portioning out his share and Pudding’s share – she’d probably eat it later. Or give it to one of her siblings. Then again he doubted she’d remember he’d cooked for her at all by the time she got back, so he thought he might as well make it his lunch.

               Sanji leaned against the kitchen counter as he ate in silence (nothing particularly fancy – just his share of the eggs, over-easy and some toast with a little butter and homemade strawberry jam he’d made shortly before the baby was born), keeping an ear out for any sign that Tapioca-chan had woken up – it would be soon if she wasn’t awake again already. 

               Finishing the last of his meal, Sanji made quick work of the dishes, packed away Pudding’s abandoned breakfast and his presumed lunch, grabbed a warm baby bottle from the stove, and headed upstairs to the nursery, reminding himself that as horrible as this past year had been, at least _one_ good thing had come out of the marriage. Even if that good thing had resulted in his severe lack of sleep.

               As Sanji opened the door to Tapioca’s room, he could hear the sounds of his daughter’s cooing and all the anger and animosity he felt vanished in an instant. He dropped off the bottle on her changing table before drifting to the side of her crib, gently leaning against the railing. She was wide awake, reaching for her fish mobile. “Hello, Tapioca-chan,” he said softly, giving the mobile a gentle spin. She squealed in delight, tiny arms flailing towards the mobile as she smiled in glee. Sanji reached into the crib to pick her up, giving her two kisses on the forehead, one on either side of her center eye, as he moved to sit in the rocking chair.

               “So, what are we going to do today?” Sanji asked.

               Tapioca responded by sticking her hand in her mouth. She’s been doing that a lot lately. It was possible she was in the early stages of teething. Three months was a little young for teething according to his book, but not unheard of.

               Sanji sighed and chuckled. “Yeah…I guess it’ll be a while before we can have any ‘intellectually stimulating conversations,’ huh Tapioca-chan?” Tapioca blew on her hand, creating a raspberry sound. Sanji stuck his tongue out at her to play along and blew a raspberry. Tapioca-chan shrieked with laughter, trying to clap in glee. _Zoro would never let me live this down if he saw me playing with a baby like this._

_…not that I'd let that stupid moss-head near my daughter. She might catch his terrible sense of direction or something. Or try to become a swordsman or want green hair._

_…then again…it would mean we’d be home...and even with the way we fought…he’d never let anything bad happen to you, would he…?_

“Tapioca-chan, do you think you and your Uncle Marimo would have gotten along okay?” Tapioca grabbed at his shirt and squeezed with delight once she had a grip on the fabric of his t-shirt.  “You think so, huh?”

_-Meanwhile-_

               _This is stupid._

_If the stupid love cook were still here, he’d never let me live this down._

_...so, why am I enjoying this so much?_

Zoro was staring at Cheska intently. Cheska was staring intently back. Slowly, Zoro covered his face with his hands and he heard the baby gasp. “Where’s Uncle Zoro?” he asked. He moved his hands away from his face and the little girl’s face lit up in delight and surprise. “Here I am!” The baby shrieked and waved her arms around like she was trying to clap. Zoro laughed, picking the baby up from her play mat. “Want to go get some fresh air while we wait for your Mom and Dad?”

               It was Zoro and Carrot’s turn to watch the ship (and by extension, their turn to watch Cheska) while the others hurried into port to gather supplies before getting back to  the Thousand Sunny. Of utmost importance (in addition to their standard fare – food, cola for the ship, miscellaneous tools and supplies) were baby items for the rapidly growing baby Cheska.

               It wasn’t that the crew hadn’t grown to love Cheska – they did, she was a ray of sunshine in their otherwise difficult life on the run from the Beast Pirates – but even Robin and Franky had to concede that, if they had friends on this side of the Grand Line in a more stable situation, it would have been best for Cheska to be raised somewhere else. But that was a luxury they did not have. Dressrosa was still a political mess in the wake of Doflamingo’s removal from power, the less said about Punk Hazard the better, they didn’t _dare_ show their faces in Wano after everything that happened, and no one had heard from any of the Straw Hat Grand Fleet crews or the Heart Pirates since everything had gone to shit.

               Worse still, the only way to get back to Paradise was blocked by another Emperor who may or may not have been holding Sanji captive for the last year, so short of catching Vivi or Iceburg (maybe) on business on this side of the Red Line, they had no safe place to deposit Baby Cheska. So, as sad as it was...the Thousand Sunny really was the “safest” place for Cheska to be. Not without attracting the wrath of a second Yonko.

               _Two Emperors chasing us…that would be really bad, wouldn’t it?_ Zoro looked out at the horizon. He thought about Nami’s insistence that she’d seen Sanji crying when he swore his loyalty to Big Mom in the wake of Luffy’s murder. He looked down at Cheska, a questioning look on his face. While he still couldn't commit to a side, he couldn’t deny that Nami’s side of the argument held a lot water. It was entirely possible that Sanji felt the only way he could save the rest of the crew, especially if Luffy was gone, was to submit to Big Mom so she’d leave them alone.

               Possible. But with only Nami’s recollection of a reflection during a time when all those present were traumatized . . . who was to say what she did or didn’t see? Zoro had only made his decision to keep the crew safe and because, being the captain now that Luffy was gone, he couldn’t be uncertain. Uncertainty would get them killed. And even if he had been crying, then what he was doing was obvious and if they tried to rescue him again and failed, they’d only be hurting him.

               Zoro thought back to their very first encounter with Bartholomew Kuwait and Sanji’s willingness to sacrifice himself for the crew…and how he did it. He seemed to think if he died it was no big deal, like they'd just all shrug it off and find another cook. Brook, the only other witness to the incident, refused to acknowledge it, but that scene had been plaguing him in recent months.

               If Sanji was a traitor, then what changed? It wasn't the promise of a woman – Nami admitted to kissing him and the two planning a lunch date, so he had the start of something with perhaps his FAVORITE woman in the world. He didn't think it was power – those things did not interest the cook. His dream to find the All Blue was more about personal satisfaction and as a gesture of gratitude towards Zeff, his foster father, not about being the best at something. Sure he had pride as a cook but he didn’t feel the need to go beat up other cooks aside from maybe the ones back on the Baratie.

               _So then…why would he…?_

               It hit Zoro like a punch to the gut.

               … _there was no reason. No motive. Which means he…_

Even though he hadn't been there and had no idea what went down, now he, too, could see Sanji’s tearful reflection. Nami was right – hell, why the hell had any of them even doubted her in the first place!? He'd sacrificed himself to Big Mom and her demands so that they wouldn't be chased down by two Emperors at the same time _without_ Luffy.

               So then what had become of him?

               _...I’m sure he’s all right…Nami said his wife seemed really nice, after all. Pretty, too. I'm sure she's taking good care of him, even if he is there against his will. And it’s not like he can’t take care of himself so he’ll be okay. Besides, if he’s doing this to protect us he’d be mad forever. Not that him being mad forever doesn’t sound awesome but…am I doing the right thing? Maybe we should have a meeting once we leave port…but what if…gah! What does it even MATTER!? We can’t go after him! Even if we have proof the stupid cook didn’t do we don’t have a way to get to him! And even if we did Luffy is…_

Zoro was not used to being this frustrated. Confidence and self-assuredness was usually his whole _thing._ Losing Luffy had really messed with his head. It had messed with everyone’s head, probably the dumb cook’s head, too. Like, maybe he saw Luffy go down and got spooked into doing whatever the hell Big Mom told him to do either out of fear for himself or what she’d do Nami’s group.

Cheska grabbed at the lapel of his shirt. Briefly, Zoro imagined the stupid cook smiling and laughing while holding up the baby, spinning around like a noodle-armed idiot, promising her only the finest baby cuisine the world had to offer right before she barfed on one of his good suits. Luffy would probably be pointing and laughing at him while Sanji barked at him for being a stupid idiot or something and yelling at him that no, the baby couldn’t eat meat yet or something. He frowned, and Cheska whimpered at him in confusion, sensing something wrong.

               “Your Uncle Luffy and Uncle Sanji would have loved you,” Zoro quietly confessed.

 

               With Tapioca-chan secure in her baby carrier (the one that held her to his chest, kind of like a reverse nap sack) and a shopping list in hand, Sanji headed out to get some much needed grocery shopping done before Pudding was due to come home. _Even if she forgot our anniversary this morning, I don’t think it’s safe for me to forget – better to have remembered and done something than let it slide._

               As Sanji headed into town, he tried to focus on Tapioca-chan in order to tune out the whispers.

               _“Isn’t that Lady Pudding’s husband, Black Leg Sanji?”_

_“I heard he was worth 177 million at one point!”_

_“Oh, how the mighty have fallen – carrying around a baby like some kind of housewife!”_

_“How is someone like that not one of Big Mom’s top officers?!”_

_“Maybe it was all smoke and mirrors – he must be a weakling!”_

_“I heard his brothers from Germa Kingdom say something to that effect – guess it must be true.”_

_“Oh yeah, he’s a prince, isn’t he? How pathetic! Nothing like what you read about in books!”_

_“Shameful!”_

               _I’m not ashamed of what I’m doing at all – why would I be ashamed to take care of my own kid?_ Sanji thought to himself as he gently rubbed Tapioca-chan’s back and tried to ignoring the glaring eyes all around him. _I'm not going to stand idly by while my daughter needs me. Besides, there’s nothing else I can do in this situation. Just leave me alone, you idiots._

               As he headed to the food market, all the while doing his best to ignore the stares and whispers, he spotted the familiar figure of Jinbe looking over something, and it occurred to Sanji that the fishman had been away on business since before the baby was born. He looked down at Tapioca-chan, who was gumming the collar of his shirt. “Hey, do you want to go and meet your Uncle Jinbe?” he asked. Tapioca-chan stopped to look at her father for a moment before returning to her previous activity, so Sanji re-adjusted the carrier, hugged the baby, and headed towards Jinbe at a brisk pace.

                Jinbe must have sensed them coming, because he stopped what he was doing to lift his head and look around in confusion. When his eyes finally settled on them, his face lit up into a bright smile and he started to laugh, bending forward to get a closer look at baby Tapioca-chan. “Well hello there, little one, how are you?” Jinbe asked.

               Tapioca cooed, reaching out to try and grab Jinbe’s nose.

               “Hey no-chanw, that’s not very polite,” Sanji said with a chuckle. Tapioca-chan squealed and Jinbe let out a belly laugh. “I know you’ve been away on business for Big Mom for a while, but I thought you might want to meet my little girl.” He readjusted his hold on his daughter. “Say hello to your Uncle Jinbe, Tapioca-chan.”

               Tapioca-chan blew a spit bubble before bursting out laughing.

               Jinbe chuckled. “She seems happy, but, Tapioca?”

               “...Pudding chose the name ‘Tapioca’,” Sanji said dryly. “I had other ideas but...”

               Jinbe frowned. “Still threatening you with the wristlets?”

               “...yeah,” said Sanji. “Not recently but... just the idea that she’s not afraid to do it...”

               The fishman shook his head. Sanji offered him the chance to hold Tapioca-chan, nodding to Jinbe in encouragement. The fishman took him up on the offer and Sanji removed her from the carrier, all the while watching Tapioca-chan study this new person carefully. She didn’t seem to dislike him, per se, but it was clear that she wasn’t quite sure what to make of this new, big blue man. She apparently decided she was comfortable with him and nodded off once Jinbe was holding her. That made Sanji smile – she usually just slept in his arms, occasionally in the arms of a sister-in-law he trusted.

               Tapioca-chan _never_ slept in her mother’s arms.

               “Sleeping already? It’s not even noon,” said Jinbe said with a chuckle.

               Sanji laughed. “Human babies sleep a _lot_ – she’s just taking a nap,” he said. He ran his hand over her head – Tapioca-chan’s eyes fluttered for a moment, but she otherwise didn’t stir. “Of course she doesn’t always like to sleep through the night...I think two nights ago was the first time she didn’t need me at two in the morning.”

               “So then Pudding _hasn’t_ been helping,” Jinbe said flatly.

               “Barely,” said Sanji. “But…I don’t mind it.”

               “Because you get to spend more time with your daughter.”

               Sanji nodded. “I’ve been smiling since she was born,” he said. “I didn’t think I’d ever smile again. Doesn’t seem to matter what I’m doing with her – feeding her, changing her, even getting up at two in the morning because she’s screaming in the nursery and just wants to be held…I’m fine with all of it.” He shook his head. “When I found out she was pregnant this is _exactly_ what I was afraid of, and yet here we are.”

               “You do look like you’re doing better – tired, but a little happier,” said Jinbe.

               “Yeah…just because she slept a few nights ago doesn’t mean she slept last night. I fell asleep in the rocking chair again,” he said with a laugh. “Pudding doesn’t like that very much - she’d _much_ rather have me sleeping in the bed.” He furrowed his brow. “Speaking of, today’s our anniversary. She seems to have forgotten...probably...but I’m pretty sure I need to do something to show _I_ didn’t forget.”

               Jinbe handed a still sleeping Tapioca back to Sanji, who re-wrapped her into the carrier. The baby stirred very briefly before settling back down, satisfied once she realized she was back with her father. “You haven’t don’t anything yet?”

               “I...have ideas,” he said glumly. “I have a little money saved up right now, so I’m hoping to find something at the pawn shop for her a little later.” Sanji figured he could find her a necklace or something decently expensive looking for cheap. “My main goal right now is to get something special for dinner,” said Sanji. “I’ll worry about an anniversary gift in a little bit.”

               Jinbe gave him a worried look. “Are you sure?”

“She ran out this morning without mentioning it so, like I said – I don’t think she remembers. But if she does…it’s better than I’m on top of it. She might get mad,” he said. He sighed, looking down at his daughter again. So much had changed, and everything but Tapioca-chan still felt surreal and wrong. “It’s really been a year.”

               Jinbe put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a sympathetic frown. Sanji shook his head and forced a smile. “I’ll figure it out. It’s fine.”

               If only Jinbe believed him.

 

               Sanji found a matching earring and necklace set that were pretty tacky but gaudy enough that Pudding would probably assume he paid a lot of money for them. Tapioca-chan seemed to like how shiny the jewelry was and tried to put an earring in her mouth. She was displeased when her father stopped her but was quickly distracted by her favorite toy, a stuffed monkey named Mr. Monkey.

               It was one of the toys Jinbe had gifted her when he renovated the nursery for them. It was such a big hit with her that Sanji had needed to track down two spares for when one of them needed to be washed.

               They were also really cheap.

               They were sold.

               With that errand out of the way, Sanji returned to the house. He gave himself and Tapioca-chan lunch (he used the leftover eggs from breakfast to make fried rice while Tapioca-chan had her regular bottle of formula). After entertaining his daughter for about an hour, Sanji put the baby down for a nap and got to work on his anniversary plans for the evening. He started with getting the house cleaned up – it wasn't too bad, so it didn't take long.

               Then he got their bedroom.

               Sanji stared at the bed. It was still a rumpled mess from this morning and neither of them bothered to make it, but they were probably about due for clean sheets anyways. He stripped the bed, retrieved some pale pink sheets he'd washed yesterday, and made up the bed, smoothing out the salmon pink ruffled comforter as best as he could and arranging the pillows, both decorative and practical, as best as he could.

               There was little doubt in Sanji's head that his wife would want him in bed that evening. He sat down on his side of the bed, lowering his head and covering his face with his hands. He was _dreading_ the prospect. _I’m twenty-two, I’m WAY too young to feel like I’m WAY too old for this shit. Gah._

_Although…when WAS the last time we did it, anyways?_ They'd stopped having sex sometime during her third trimester, when the doctor gave them instructions to abstain during the last leg of the pregnancy and then while Pudding recovered from the delivery. Sanji hadn’t been propositioned since then, which was fine by him - he'd only truly enjoyed it the night they were “celebrating” Pudding’s pregnancy, and that was undercut by what happened after. Since then the only sexual pleasure he _actually_ got was during his morning shower jerk-off, otherwise known as Anyone But Pudding Fantasy Time.

               Anyone But Pudding Fantasy Time was a good ritual and helped him maintain his sanity. He usually fantasized about Nami, but his mind would wander to the other women who'd been in his life before, anyone but the self-centered brat he'd married. He'd dream about Nami-san and Robin-san coming to save him, saying they believed he was innocent; sometimes it ended in a three-way. He thought about Vivi infiltrating the Big Mom Pirates like she did with Baroque Works and figuring out a way to save him, usually in that sexy dancer outfit. Or maybe that cute Viola girl from Dressrosa finding him as payback for helping her last year, wearing nothing but that flower in her hair.

               None of them were ever weirded out that he had a baby.

               Nami-san was his favorite fantasy most of the time, but sometimes...he’d imagine that lunch date. Nothing special. Just sitting and talking, laughing as they reminisced about the past. He never got off to that one because he was too busy sobbing before getting to anything particularly sexual. It made him realize that his heart (well, the romantic piece of it – Tapioca-chan had another piece of his heart, of course) belonged to her, and since Nami-san didn’t give up her treasure very easily, that’s where it would stay for all eternity.

               As far as Pudding went…Sanji didn’t care. Yes, she was pretty, and she had a great body (how the hell she got it back into shape after the baby baffled him) but he simply wasn’t all that interested. Whether or not Pudding was physically attractive was secondary to how most of their marriage had gone. She was not above threatening his precious hands and he had no way to defend himself aside from agreeing with her and trying to stay out of trouble and at least acting like he was “okay”. He’d mostly given up on the “happy husband” routine a while ago, so he did his best to act...neutral to fair. As long as Pudding didn’t complain and he didn’t attract Big Mom’s attention…that was the best he could hope for. This was what he had to do to keep everyone he really loved safe. If subjecting himself to Pudding like this would keep the people he still loved safe – Zeff and the cooks at the Baratie, Zoro and the other Straw Hats, Ivankov and the Okamas, and his beloved little Tapioca-chan – then fine. He could do that. 

 

               Pudding returned home shortly after seven. Tapioca-chan was already in bed for the evening (assuming she didn't start screaming at two in the morning), and Sanji had prepared seared elephant fin tuna steaks with glazed green beans and twice-baked potatoes with cheddar and chives. “Ooo, fancy!” Pudding said, clasping her hands together as she looked over the meal. “What’s the occasion?”

               _Ah, she_ DID _forget,_ Sanji thought to himself. “It’s our anniversary.”

               Pudding looked at him. “No it’s not…wait, today’s the sixth, right?”

               “It’s the eigth.” _How are you off by TWO days?_

               “…oh no, oh you’re _right_!” she said.

               Sanji forced himself to smile. “It’s all right,” he said. “Look, I made us dinner. See?”

               “We should have gone out, though,” Pudding said, pouting at him. “Maybe we can take a long weekend and go off-island for a little second honeymoon.” She lit up at the idea, until Sanji pointed at one of his wristlets. “Oh, right, whoops. Well, we can find something else fun to do instead. I’m sure we’ll think of something.”

               They ate dinner and talked, Pudding telling Sanji about her exploits with her sisters and Sanji pretending he _cared_ about Pudding’s exploits with her sisters. He in turn talked about his day with Tapioca-chan, and she commented that he was such a good father (which he would have been happier about if he thought she was being sincere and if she even made an attempt at being a good mother).

               Once dinner was finished, Pudding started giving him the “bedroom” eye. _There it is._

               They awkwardly fumbled their way into their bedroom, Pudding already working on getting him out of his clothes. By the time they reached the bed she had him in his undershirt and boxers, and he’d played along by unzipping her dress, which she slipped out of like a snake shedding its skin. She deftly removed her bra in one fell swoop, grinding her hips against Sanji’s to get a rise out of him.

               Literally.

               “I missed this, Sanji darling.”

               _Funny. I didn’t._

               Additionally, this would be the first time since their wedding night that Pudding _wasn’t_ pregnant, so there was _that_ aspect as well. Granted, he’d been pretty good about sticking to his routine with the pills Jinbe had been sneaking him (hell, he even had backup pills in his sock drawer – that bottle was labeled “Male Enhancement”, a disguise he was particularly proud of because he was CERTAIN she wouldn’t question those if she found them), but another pregnancy was something he simply _couldn’t_ allow. While Sanji felt that Tapioca-chan was the best thing in his life, hands down, his feelings on a second child hadn’t changed since his conversation with Jinbe on the subject. Pudding paid _far_ too little mind to the baby they already had, giving her another one was asking for trouble.

               Still, he found himself playing along for the moment. If nothing else Monsieur Chef de Partie was at least mildly interested, so he half-heartedly returned her advances. Besides, there was no guarantee having a baby was on Pudding’s mind – sure, _Sanji_ was regularly disappointed in their sex life, but she was _enamored_ with him during the first six or seven months of their marriage (or she had crazy baby hormones or something that made her really horny, maybe – the book didn’t talk about that so he wasn’t sure). So, maybe she horny and just wanted to fuck.

               _…probably not._

               Pudding giggled as she seductively pulled down her panties and Sanji finally felt his boxers start to get a little tight. His wife saw this and ran her finger across Monsieur Chef de Partie and he threw his head back, unable to contain himself. Sanji hated himself for it, but he couldn’tdeny how damn _intoxicating_ it felt, especially once she had his boxers down and off. His instincts were taking over, and he decided that submitting to them would be a lot easier. He followed suit with his under shirt and mounted his wife. She squealed with delight as she guided him inside of her.

               Despite the pleasant sensations radiating from between his legs, Sanji’s mind was elsewhere. He was observing his wife, and noticed that Pudding wasn’t going for any acrobatics tonight – she was having him top (which was Sanji’s “preferred” position, though he didn’t think that was _why_ they were in the missionary position), just lying there on the mattress. She was mostly quiet, too – little moans of encouragement here and there. Sanji concluded that she was either trying to be quiet because of Tapioca-chan (unlikely), or she was trying to get pregnant and figured this was the best way to go about it.

               “Mmn…make sure you're in their deep…” she said, wrapping her legs around his waist. Sanji masked a sigh of exasperation with a grunt – yeah, she was looking for another baby. Even if she was getting physical pleasure from this, and it seemed like she was, that wasn’t her end game. This wasn’t about love, this was about procreation.

               Sanji was so very, _very_ grateful to Jinbe.

               It was a weird feeling – just a little over a year ago he’d been DESPERATE to be with a woman, but a year into being sexually active he kind of hated it. At least with her. He was reasonably certain if he was with a different woman (probably Nami-san) it wouldn’t be nearly as tedious and joyless as it was with his wife. The affection wouldn’t be so forced and he wouldn’t want her to just roll over and leave him alone.

               Worst still was everything else surrounding this day. It wasn’t _just_ his wedding anniversary. It was also the anniversary of the day Luffy died, the day he’d had to lie to his friends about betraying them because just being taken away from them hadn’t been enough for Big Mom, and the day he’d stopped being a Straw Hat, even if his heart was still on that ship and truth be told, he still felt like one. These were all things he still thought about regularly, if not daily, but it stung extra hard today.

               It was almost enough to make him go soft (that, and the sex was actually pretty _boring_ ), but Pudding contracted around him at _just_ the right moment and he came instead, awash of conflicting emotions – ecstasy and agony, loneliness and frustration, fear and sadness. He collapsed on the bed next to his wife, who was grinning ear-to-ear as she cuddled up next to him and he absently put his arms around her, desperately wishing she was someone else.

               “That was fantastic, Sanji darling!” she quipped happily, patting her stomache. Sanji felt his skin crawl and he suppressed a shudder. “Nice and deep, just like our wedding night – hopefully we’ll have more good news in a month or so, right?”

               “Yup,” he said, trying not to sound disinterested while she played with his hair. She didn’t need to know that he was looking forward to “good news” as well, it was just the opposite of what she wanted.

               The gears in Sanji’s head started to turn, and he realized just how damn _draining_ this part of their marriage really was. He could play the role of happy father no problem (because he _was_ happy having Tapioca-chan in his life – she was great, just about everything else sucked). His kitchen wasn’t as good as the one on the Thousand Sunny, but when he wasn’t taking care of the baby it kept him busy enough. Even the household chores weren't so bad, especially if he had Tapioca-chan nearby to keep him company. But this? It might be fun for a little while but he usually felt like shit after it was all said and done.

               _I can’t keep doing this to myself..,_

               Sanji turned his head and caught a glimpse of one of his wristlets and a horrible thought sunk into his thoughts. It stood to reason that if Pudding wasn’t above using his wristlets to get her way when it came to little bullshit things like what they were having for dinner or how to decorate the house, but what if she tried to use his restraints to get… _this_...out of him?

               It was possible Pudding could use the wristlets to pin him down…

               _I can’t let her try that,_ he thought to himself fearfully. _But what am I supposed to do?_

An idea popped into Sanji’s head. _Unless…_

“You know…we could make this a weekly thing,” he said, trying to sound thoughtful.

               Pudding propped herself up on her elbow. “Oh?” she asked, running her foot over his leg.

               _Bingo._ Sanji knew that, unless Pudding lost interest (which wasn’t happening anytime soon – she wanted a small army of babies), a sexless marriage wasn’t going to be an option. Pudding probably wasn’t the only one that wanted a lot of children – Big Mom probably wanted the same thing as a means to grow the Big Mom Pirates. Even with Jinbe giving him the pills, he needed to at least _pretend_ he was trying to get his wife pregnant and feign ignorance at their infertility. At the same time, he hated how he felt at that moment and he needed to figure out a way to protect himself from it as much as possible, as well as from the possibility that she might use his wristlets in _this_ context.

               But…what if he could convince her to put their sex life on a schedule? That way, there would be no unexpected surprises and he’d have time to plan around it and mentally prepare himself for it. _Monthly probably wouldn’t be often enough since she wants another baby, but weekly…weekly could work. I think I can live with weekly. Get her to pick a day and we stick to that day…that could work._

               “You know…make it _special_ ,” he said. _And by “special” I mean “limited”, as in “you keep your fucking hands off me six nights a week”_. “Yeah, just pick a day and that will be…our special night.” Sanji wanted to gag when he said it.

               “How about Saturday?” Pudding said, batting her eyes at him. “ _Date night_.”

               Sanji forced himself to grin. _What “dates” are you speaking of?_ They hadn’t gone on any “dates” since before Tapioca had been born. Oh, certainly Pudding still went out to see her sisters and sometimes brought one or both of them along for the ride so she could brag and show off, but Sanji was always busy with the baby these days, and Saturday nights were no exception. He wondered what, exactly, Pudding planned on doing with their daughter during these “dates” but decided to leave that alone for the moment. “All right, Saturday will be our special night.”

               “And our anniversary, of course – oh and birthdays!” she said.

               “…sure,” he said.

Pudding squealed with delight and started kissing his neck, and Sanji closed his eyes. _All right, you can have your way with me again. But I’m going to hold you to Saturday nights –_ just _Saturday nights._ Pudding crawled on top of him and started fondling Monsier Chef de Partie in an attempt to get him hard again. He yelped in surprise and Pudding laughed as he squirmed beneath her. Sanji gripped the bedsheets and clenched his eyes shut. _You can do this._

_Just one Saturday night at a time…_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes
> 
> Sorry this took so long to get out @_@ I’ve been super tired as of late. My IRL job is tempory contract work and as such I haven’t had a significant amount of time-off since May 2016 other than a few days where the place I was working lost power and a few long holiday weekends. I’m beat. I want a vacation. And I don’t even wanna go anywhere, I just wanna sleep and catch up on my housework and my artwork.
> 
> …adulting sucks.
> 
> As Whole Cake Island seems to be winding down (maybe) I definitely have thoughts about how I’ve handled certain characters, some of which I need to discuss at length with my beta readers. At the very least I’ve got the bones of the next chapter done but we’ll see how long it takes me to get those out. I pretty much known about how long the story takes place in-universe and I sincerely hope it doesn’t take me that long in the real world to get this done, especially since I do eventually want to get back to Mass x Acceleration and some other projects, you know, eventually.
> 
> And that’s it this time around.
> 
> Dixxy


End file.
